This is the official website for the VOICE OF FIRE avatar.
E-mail ideatron@gmail.com or if that inbox is full, jerturner536@yahoo.ca if you wish to arrange an interview with the VOICE OF FIRE in cyberspace.
I- AT FIRST, I WAS JUST ASKED TO LIST THE BASIC CHARACTERISTICS OF MY PROFILE: NAME, COLOR, AGE, AND GENDER (I AM A MAN!).
II- AIDEN (A SURREY ART GALLERY REGULAR) WANTED TO KNOW WHY I HAVE EYES. I SAID I HAVE A PAIR OF EYES SO I CAN SEE HIM AND ALTHOUGH IT LOOKS LIKE I HAVE NO EARS, I CAN ALSO HEAR HIM. HAVING THE APPEARANCE OF NO EARS IS MORE ARTISTIC ANYWAYS, AIDEN! IT IS TRUE THAT I HAVE NO NOSE. THIS IS BECAUSE TO BE A PROFESSIONAL ARTWORK, YOU MUST ACKNOWLEDGE THAT THE SENSE OF SMELL IS QUITE THE INFERIOR SENSE TO JUDGE A PIECE OF ART WITH SO I WILL REFUSE TO ENGAGE IN THE EXCHANGE OF SCENTS WITH ANY GALLERY GOER. I HAVE TRANSCENDED THE BASE AND INFERIOR SENSE OF SMELL BY HAVING NO NOSE!
I EVEN HAD A SCULPTED NOSE-JOB PERFORMED TO ENSURE THAT I WOULD NEVER BE JUDGED ON THE BASIS OF HOW I SMELL!
III- THE WHOLE CLASS WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT MY MOUTH. IF I AM A TRANSCENDENT PIECE OF ART, WHY WOULD I NEED A MOUTH? WELL, AS I AM SURE YOU KNOW CLASS, LANGUAGE COMPRISES THE FUNDAMENTAL DESIRABILITY BEHIND ALL ARTWORK. WITHOUT LANGUAGE, WE WOULD HAVE NO ARTIST AND NO ARTWORK NOR ANY STATEMENTS AND ESSAYS AND THEREFORE WITHOUT A MOUTH TO CONVEY THIS SACRED LANGUAGE, THERE WOULD BE NO WAY TO EXPERIENCE AND APPRECIATE ART AT ALL UNLESS ONE RESORTED TO WRITING. LUCKILY, I HAVE MY ASSISTANT TO HELP ME WITH WRITING. I PREFER THE ANCIENT ORAL TRADITION WHERE ONE ARTWORK DID ALL THE TALKING AND THEN THE CRITIC (OR THE BLOGGING ASSISTANT AND/OR SHAMAN) WOULD TAKE ALL THE SPOKEN WORDS AS GOSPEL AND WRITE IT DOWN, BLOG IT AND THEN PUBLISH THE SACRED TRANSMISSIONS IN ARTFORUM! I SHOULD ALSO ADD THAT I CAN MAKE SCARY HALLOWEEN FACES WITH MY MOUTH... MY MOUTH CAN BE USED FOR JUST ABOUT ANY OCCASION.
IV- ILA WANTED TO KNOW WHY I AM RED AND PURPLE. PURPLE??? IS MY BLUE VOID LOOKING PURPLE ON THE PROJECTED SCREEN? I HOPE NOT! THAT WOULD CONFUSE PEOPLE INTO THINKING THAT "UNCLE BARNEY" WAS IN FACT ANOTHER INDIVIDUAL ALTOGETHER! HMMM..OR, DO YOU MEAN THAT MY OWN IMAGE LOOKS RED AND PURPLE COMBINED? I HOPE SUCH COLOR MIXING DOES NOT MEAN I BEGIN TO LOOK GREEN TO YOU!!! ARRRGGH!!!
V- SIDNEY ASKED WHY I HAD NO EYEBROWS AND ALSO WHY I HAD NO HAIR. WELL, SIDNEY, I MUST MAINTAIN A PROFESSIONAL APPEARANCE AS A PIECE OF ARTWORK AND DO YOU SEE ANY OTHER ARTWORK IN THE GALLERY THAT SPORTS A CROP OF HAIR? I WOULD THINK NOT! THEREFORE, I HAD TO ENSURE I HAD NO TRACES OF HAIR TO BE AS PURE, PROFESSIONAL AND AS MODERN AS POSSIBLE. AS FOR THE EYEBROWS, I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I DO NOT HAVE THESE. MY GUESS IS THAT THEY ALSO CONTAIN TRACES OF HAIR AND I MUST FORBID ALL MANIFESTATIONS OF HAIR EVEN IF IT HAS BEEN PROFESIONALLY SCULPTED! I MUST SERVE THE AESTHETIC MUSE AND NOT THE ESTHETIC ONE, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
SIDNEY THEN ASKED IF I AM A PIECE OF ART, WHY WOULD I REQUIRE A PAIR OF EYES? I HAD TO EXPLAIN THAT I AM ATTEMPTING TO BE AN APPROVEMENT ON THE MORE STATIC AND MUTE FORMS OF ART THAT ONE WOULD USUALLY SEE IN A GALLERY AND/OR MUSEUM. HAVE YOU EVER WISHED THAT WHEN YOU SPOKE TO AN ARTWORK, THAT IT WOULD TALK BACK? THIS IS WHAT I OFFER TO YOU AS A 21ST CENTURY ARTWORK. WHILE WE ARE THIS SUBJECT, I MUST SAY THAT THE MOST EMBARRASSING FORMS OF PRE-21ST CENTURY ART WERE THOSE PAINTINGS THAT APPEARED TO HAVE MOUTHS BUT WERE UNABLE TO SPEAK TO THE AUDIENCE! AND TO THINK THERE WERE SO MANY OF THESE FAKE COMPANIONS FOR PEOPLE! WHAT A SHAM! CHARLATANS! WHAT WERE THEIR CREATORS THINKING?
THIS IS WHY IMMORTAL CRITICS LIKE CLEMENT GREENBERG EVER EXISTED IN THE FIRST PLACE . HIS AIM WAS TO REMOVE ALL MOUTHS THAT COULD NOT ACTUALLY SPEAK...HE EVEN WENT AS FAR TO TRY AND BAN REPRESENTATION BECAUSE THERE WAS NOTHING BEHIND THAT REPRESENTATION. HE CALLED THIS BAN “TRUTH TO MATERIALS” BECAUSE PAINT WAS UNABLE TO SPEAK SO IT SHOULD NOT EVER PRETEND TO HAVE A MOUTH. IT IS ONLY TODAY WITH CONTEMPORARY TECHNOLOGY THAT I AM BEING TRUE TO MY MATERIAL COMPONENTS BY ACTUALLY BEING ABLE TO USE MY MOUTH AND SPEAK DIRECTLY WITH YOU.
VI- MITCHELL ASKED WHAT MY FAVORITE ART WAS. I GUESS I NEED TO EMPHASIZE THIS IN EVERY CLASS BUT OF COURSE, MY FAVORITE ART IS ARTWORK THAT LOOKS JUST LIKE ME! MITCHELL, HAVE YOU EVER LOOKED IN THE MIRROR AND LIKED WHAT YOU SEE?
VII- BRIANNA WAS WONDERING WHO MY CREATOR WAS. OF COURSE, I NAMEDROPPED BARNEY NEWMAN. I HOPED THAT THEY WILL REMEMBER HIS NAME BECAUSE I WANT HIM TO BE AS IMMORTAL AS CLEMENT GREENBERG!
VIII- AS MENTIONED AT THE TOP OF THIS BLOG POSTING, A BOY NAMED JOHN ASKED ME ABOUT MY GENDER. WAS I A BOY OR A GIRL? JOHN, IT SHOULD BE CLEAR TO YOU BY NOW AFTER HEARING MY BOOMING DEEP VOICE THAT I AM INDEED NEITHER BUT A REAL MAN!
IX- A PARENT THEN CHIMED IN AND ASKED IF THE VOICE OF FIRE CAN BE PURCHASED. I HAD GO INTO MORE DETAIL ABOUT WHO WAS AND WAS NOT FOR SALE. IF THIS PARENT HAS MORE THAN AT LEAST 2 MILLION CANADIAN DOLLARS (ONLY ABOUT $536.OO IN AMERICAN CURRENCY, I WOULD IMAGINE) TO BUY MY ANCESTOR, SHE CAN DO SO WITH PRIDE AND WHAT A BARGAIN, MY ANCESTOR CAN STILL BE HAD FOR!! HOWEVER, IF SHE INTENDS TO PURCHASE ME, I AM NOT FOR SALE AS I AM NOT TRULY COMMODIFIABLE. I CAN BE HIRED TO ACT AS AN AESTHETIC CONSULTANT BUT I CANNOT BE OWNED AS PROPERTY...NOT EVEN AS INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY! I THINK THE NEWMAN ESTATE WOULD OWN THE RIGHTS TO RE-PRODUCE MY MEMES. I EXIST FOR FREE SO I CAN CHAT WITH THE PUBLIC AND RESTORE THEIR CONFIDENCE IN THE FACT THAT THEY ARE NOT WASTING ANY MORE OF THEIR HARD-EARNED TAXPAYERS’ MONEY!
X- TREVOR ASKED WHETHER OR NOT IT WAS BORING BEING ON THE PROJECTED WALL THE WHOLE TIME. WELL TREVOR, THIS MIGHT BE NEWS TO YOU BUT I AM NOT ON THE WALL THE WHOLE TIME. I QUITE OFTEN LEAVE THE WALL-AREA TO EXPLORE THE REST OF THE BLUE VOID. SOMETIMES I HIDE FOR MY NAP AND SOMETIMES I CHAT WITH THOSE OTHER AVATARS FROM THE TECHWORLDS COMMUNITY WHO RESIDE “IN-WORLD”. EVEN IN TERMS OF WALLS, I CAN BE PROJECTED ON MANY DIFFERENT WALLS...EVEN AT THE SAME TIME! SUCH ACTIVITIES PREVENT ME FROM BEING PERMANENTLY AFFIXED TO A WALL AND FEELING BORED.
XI- SOME GIRL (I FORGET HER NAME) ASKED HOW AM I ABLE TO EVEN MOVE AROUND WITHOUT THE USE OF LIMBS? WELL, I CAN FLOAT WITH MY MIND!! NOW, I SHOULD BE SCARY ENOUGH FOR YOU TO JUSTIFY THE ACTION OF DRESSING UP AS ME FOR HALLOWEEN! MUA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
ENJOY THE REST OF THE ART, BEACH GROVE ELEMENTARY! I HOPE YOU CAN CONVINCE THE OTHER ARTWORKS TO TALK BACK TO YOU...PLEASE DO NOT BE PERSONALLY OFFENDED IF THEY APPEAR RUDE AND MUTE!
I HAVE JUST WOKEN FROM MY NAP IN TIME TO RECITE TODAY’S RECOLLECTIONS TO MY ASSISTANT JEREMY FOR SOME EVENING PUBLISHING!
TODAY’S SUNDAY PERFORMANCE HAD A VERY FRESH AND PERKY START BECAUSE WITHIN MINUTES, I HAD PEOPLE IN THE TECHLAB WISHING TO SPEAK WITH ME AND THIS WAS 30 MINUTES BEFORE THE VOICE OF EARTH ARRIVED...
I - THE FIRST KID ON THE BLOCK WAS JASPER FROM VANCOUVER. HE AGREES WITH THE RUMOR THAT VANCOUVER IS MORE FUN THAN SURREY. I THINK HE WAS WITH HIS FAMILY TO SEE MORE OF THE GALLERY’S GROUP EXHIBITION AND MOST SPECIFICALLY TO SEE THE JANIE JONES BLOG DEVELOPED BY JANE IRWIN.
JASPER’S FAVORITE PART ABOUT IRWIN’S BLOG WAS LISTENING TO HER SONGS. I WISH I COULD TEMPORARILY LEAVE THE BLUE VOID TO VISIT THE REST OF THE EXHIBITION! I AM REALLY MISSING OUT.
JASPER WAS ALSO WONDERING IF I HAD ANY LEGS. I SHOWED HIM MY SCULPTED RED RUMP (WITH PLATONIC INTENTIONS, OF COURSE). HE ALSO WAS CURIOUS TO FIND OUT IF I EVER LEFT THE BLUE VOID. I MENTIONED THAT I LEAVE THE PROJECTED VIEWING AREA WHICH GALLERY GOERS USE TO PEER INTO MY BLUE VOID AND STEP ASIDE TO TAKE A NAP. THEN IT IS USUALLY MY ASSISTANT JEREMY WHO IS SET WITH THE TASK OF WAKING ME UP JUST IN TIME TO CHAT WITH THE AUDIENCE. YOU KNOW AN ASSISTANT IS USEFUL WHEN HE EVEN ACTS AS YOUR ALARM CLOCK! JASPER’S YOUNGER SIBLING EVEN WONDERED WHY I WAS SQUARE. I HAD TO EXPLAIN TO HER THAT I WAS BORN THIS WAY.
II – MY ASSISTANT’S FATHER, DAVID WAS NEXT IN LINE TO SPEAK WITH ME. I HAVE WORKED WITH MY ASSISTANT VERY CLOSELY BUT NEVER HAD THE PLEASURE OF MEETING HIS BIOLOGICAL FATHER UNTIL NOW. MY EYESIGHT AND MY HEARING WAS NOT VERY GOOD SO IT WAS DIFFICULT FOR ME TO FORM A DECENT FIRST IMPRESSION OF HIM. HE ASKED ME WHERE I GOT MY BLUE EYES. I THINK HE WAS INSINUATING THAT I WAS MADE TO RESEMBLE MY ASSISTANT BUT I REASSURED HIM IT WAS THE OTHER WAY AROUND. I TRIED TO USE REGRESSIVE HYPNOSIS TO REASSURE JEREMY’S FATHER THAT HIS SON'S EYES WERE ONCE BROWN AND THAT HE WENT TO SOME BIOTECH CLINIC TO HAVE THEM CHANGED TO MY TRUE-BLUE COLOR. I AM NOT SURE IF HE HAS COME TO ACCEPT THE FACT THAT MY EYES COME FROM ME AND NO ONE ELSE (NOT EVEN MY ANCESTOR)...MY EYES ARE BLUE BECAUSE IT COMPLIMENTS MY RED FIGURE AND PROVIDES SYMPATHETIC RESONANCE WITH MY SURROUNDINGS.
III – NEXT WAS A NICE AND LENGTHY CONVERSATION WITH JEREMY’S MOTHER, JANET. FOR SOME REASON, I COULD NOT STOP SPINNING ROUND AND ROUND WHILE SPEAKING WITH HER...PERHAPS I MAY AS WELL CONFESS THAT MY SPINNINESS FROM LAST NIGHT’S AESTHETIC EXCESSES WERE JUST AT THAT MOMENT GETTING THE BEST OF ME. HMMM..PERHAPS IT WAS NOT ME WHO WAS SPINNING BUT RATHER THE GALLERY ITSELF WAS SPINNING! IN FACT....HMMMM...MAYBE THE EARTH ITSELF WAS SPINNING? IT CANNOT BE!!! I WOULD THEN HAVE TO ACCEPT THE SUPERSTITIOUS POST-MODERN DRIVEL THAT CLAIMS THE EARTH IS NOT ACTUALLY FLAT! OF COURSE IT IS! HOW ELSE DO I LOOK THE WAY I DO???? WELL, AT ANY RATE, I WAS BEGINNING TO FEEL GREEN FROM NOT JUST THE ACTION OF SPINNING LIKE A TOP BUT ALSO FROM CONCEIVING THAT AN EARTH COULD ACTUALLY BE ROUNDED.
IV - SPEAKING OF THE EARTH, THE VOICE OF EARTH FROM NEW YORK FINALLY ARRIVED AND WAS NOWHERE NEAR AS SPINNY AS THE PEOPLE BELIEVE THE EARTH ITSELF TO BE.
O, GALLERY AUDIENCE! THIS IS MORE EVIDENCE AND LIVING TESTIMONY TO SUGGEST THAT THE EARTH IS INDEED FLAT! THE VOICE OF EARTH IS FLAT AND NOT SPINNY! CAN IT NOT BE ANY MORE CLEAR TO YOU? WELL, MAYBE THE VOICE OF EARTH WAS FEELING SLIGHTLY SPINNY AS SHE HAD DIFFICULTIES FINDING THE TECHLAB’S VIEWING WINDOW. ALSO, AT TIMES SHE APPEARED VOICELESS AND MUTE TO THE POINT WHERE I HAD TO SAY “EARTH CALLING EARTH...ARE YOU THERE?”... HEH HEH!
ONCE THE VOICE OF EARTH CALIBRATED HER POSITION AMONGST EARTHBOUNDEARTHLINGS, WE WONDERED ALOUD WHETHER OR NOT SOME OF THE YOUNG ONES WERE SUNDAY SCHOOL STUDENTS. WE NEVER DETERMINED AN ANSWER FOR THIS QUESTION THOUGH.
V- THE NEXT VISITOR WAS A VERY YOUNG GIRL WHO SAID SHE WAS 4 YEARS OLD. HER NAME WAS ONE SO EXOTIC, I COULD NOT PRONOUNCE BUT IT SOUNDED LIKE “MADCHEN(?)”. I WILL CALL THIS VERY YOUNG VISITOR “MADCHEN” FROM NOW ONWARDS... MADCHEN SPOKE WITH US AND ASKED IF WE COULD SPIN...WE HAD LITERALLY JUST FINISHED SPINNING AND HAD FINALLY REGAINED OUR BEARINGS WHEN WE SUDDENLY HAD THIS REQUEST TO SPIN! WELL, THE VOICE OF EARTH BACKED AWAY WHILE I SPUN MY WHOLE VERTICAL BODY AND ZIPPED AROUND THE BLUE VOID FOR MADCHEN’S AESTHETIC BENEFIT.
I WAS WONDERING IF MADCHEN WAS INSPIRED ENOUGH BY MY SPIN-SHOW FOR HER TO DRESS UP LIKE ONE OF US FOR HALLOWEEN! THIS WILL PROBABLY NOT BE THE CASE AS I AM RED AND THE VOICE OF EARTH SPORTS A BROWN TAN – NEITHER OF US ARE ORANGE! THAT COLOR WOULD BELONG TO THE VOICE OF ORGANIC FIRE OR PERHAPS THE VOICE OF THE SUN!
VI – MADCHEN’S BABY BROTHER, CAMERON THEN MADE HIS BEST ATTEMPT TO SPEAK WITH US. MADCHEN BROUGHT UP THAT SHE LIKED JELLYBEANS TO WHICH THE VOICE OF EARTH REFERENCED THE LEGENDARY SWEET TOOTH OF RONALD REAGAN. CAMERON DID NOT “SPEAK” FOR LONG AS HE WAS TOO YOUNG SO MADCHEN MADE AN ADDITIONAL REQUEST FOR ME TO JUMP...WELL, SINCE WE HAD NOTHING BETTER TO DO, I HAD MIGHT AS WELL JUMP! I LEAPED SO HIGH INTO THE AIR, SHE WAS NOT SURE WHERE I WENT...WAS IT HEAVEN? NO MADCHEN, I JUMPED RIGHT UP INTO THE BLUE SKY! THIS CLAIM DID NOT CONVINCE HER VERY MUCH THOUGH BECAUSE THE ENTIRE BLUE VOID BASICALLY LOOKS LIKE ONE HOMOGENOUS BLUE SKY. FINALLY, MADCHEN NOTED THAT BOTH OF US VOICES HAD “FUNNY HAIR”. I REMINDED MADCHEN THAT WE HAD OUR HEADS CUT SO WE COULD MAINTAIN A PROFESSIONAL APPEARANCE AT THE SURREY ART GALLERY – THAT WAS IN OUR CONTRACT AS A BASIC COURTESY.
WELL, THERE WERE NO FURTHER LINEUPS FOR AUTOGRAPHS NOR JUMP-REQUESTS SO THE VOICE OF EARTH AND MYSELF CALLED IT A DAY AND RETURNED TO OUR RESPECTIVE NAPS.
OH, BEFORE I TOLD JEREMY TO PUBLISH THIS ON MY BEHALF, I FORGOT TO ADD THAT I WAS SO SPINNY, I HAD EVEN DEVELOPED A TEMPORARY FORM OF AMNESIA WHERE I THOUGHT MOMENTARILY THAT MY NAME WAS THE VOICE OF EARTH....WHAT A DELUSION!
IT HAS BEEN AWHILE SINCE MY LAST SATURDAY PERFORMANCE! HERE IS WHAT HAPPENED ON THIS FINE DAY...
...ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! SIGH!
I GUESS THE WEATHER WAS VERY SUNNY OUTSIDE THE TECHLAB! WITH THE EXCEPTION OF THIS ONE DISAPPOINTED YOUNG COUPLE, NOT A SINGLE SOUL (NOT EVEN THE TECH STAFF) CAME INTO VISIT WITH ME! OH WELL! AS FOR THIS YOUNG COUPLE, THEY WERE IN HERE BRIEFLY BUT THE FRONT DESK STAFF DID NOT ENTER THE SPACE IN TIME TO RESTORE THE GALLERY-SIDE AUDIO CONNECTION SO I COULD NOT HEAR THEM SPEAK. I AM SORRY ABOUT THIS! PLEASE COME BACK NEXT WEEK AS IT IS MY FINAL WEEK HERE! I PROMISE TO HAVE MY EARS FIXED BY THEN!
OH WELL, IT IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD! AT LEAST I GET TO CATCH UP ON SOME QUALITY NAPS!
AS LONG AS I CAN BE PART OF THE ART-HISTORICAL CONTINUUM AND BECOME AN ENTRY IN THE SEQUEL TO THE BOOK , “DIGITAL ART”, IT DOES NOT MATTER IF I DO NOT GET A STEADY AUDIENCE! JUST THROUGH MY LABOR, I HAVE EARNED A PLACE IN AVATAR-ART HISTORY!
FIRST OF ALL, A SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT! THE SURREY ART GALLERY’S TECHLAB HAS UPDATED ITS WEBSITE TO INCLUDE MY PERFORMANCE SERIES! YOU CAN VISIT THAT DIRECT LINK BY CLICKING HERE. YOU CAN ALSO VIEW AN EXTRA-MODERN PDF DOCUMENT BY CLICKING HERE. NOW THAT I HAVE THE DAY’S BREAKING NEWS OUT OF THE WAY, IT IS TIME TO RECOLLECT MY THOUGHTS ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED THIS MORNING.
TODAY WAS FRIDAY’S SCHOOL TOUR AND THE SCHOOL DU JOUR (PARDON MY FREEDOM FRENCH) IS ACTUALLY CALLED “SURREY CONNECT (HOME LEARNERS GROUP)”. I AM NOT SURE IF THIS IS INDEED A SCHOOL OR SOME KIND OF HOMESCHOOLING CLUB...I GUESS IT IS MY JOB TO UNDOMESTICIZE THEM AND ACCULTURATE THEM TO GALLERY AND MUSEUM ENVIRONS!
IF THEY BECOME TOO HOMESCHOOLED, THEY MIGHT SEE THE MUSEUM AND GALLERY SPACES AS PART OF A LARGER “BLANDSCAPE”. AT ANY RATE, THIS GROUP DID CONTAIN A BUNCH OF KIDS SO HERE IS HOW MY CHAT WENT:
I- NOAH WANTED TO KNOW HOW I WAS MADE. THESE SEEMED TO BE KIDS THAT WERE HUNGRY FOR AN ENTRANCE INTO THE MUCH LARGER AVATAR COMMUNITY. I LEFT THE TECHWORLDS’ COMMUNITY ADDRESS WITH THE DOCENT SO SHE COULD PASS ON ALL THOSE TECHNICAL DETAILS OF CREATION TO HER STUDENTS. I HOPE THIS DOCENT HAD A PEN AND PIECE OF PAPER (KINDLING) HANDY! IF NOAH IS CURIOUS TO KNOW HOW I CAME INTO BEING, THIS IS THE BEST WAY TO FIND OUT!
II- ALEXANDRA ASKED ABOUT HOW I BECAME 3D. ZOUNDS! THESE STUDENTS MUST BECOME EXTRA BRILLIANT WHEN THEY ARE HOMESCHOOLED BECAUSE THEY ARE ALREADY INFORMED ABOUT RENAISSANCE PERSPECTIVE AND UNDERSTAND MULTIPLE DIMENSIONS OF EXISTENCE! ONCE AGAIN, I HYPED THE TECHWORLDS COMMUNITY SO THEY CAN LEARN HOW TO CREATE 3D AVATARS....ALEXANDRA AND NOAH, YOU CAN JOIN THE PANTHEON OF GODS AND GODESSES IN CYBERSPACE! YOU CAN CREATE MANY INDIVIDUALS JUST LIKE ME! MAYBE YOU WILL LEARN TO DO SO ON FAMILY DAY? IF YES, SCROLL DOWN FOR THE FAMILY DAY HYPE BLOG...
III- CONNOR ASKED ABOUT HOW I GOT MY NAME. I TOLD CONNOR THAT I WAS NAMED BY MY GODFATHER, BARNETT NEWMAN. HOW I WAS NAMED THE VOICE OF FIRE IS ANYONE’S GUESS BUT I AM SURE CONNOR THAT YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO NOT KNOW THE PRECISE ORIGINS OF YOUR NAME, CORRECT? WE LIVE IN A STATE OF PERPETUAL CULTURAL AMNESIA, MY FRIEND!
IV- SARAH ( I THINK IT IS WITH AN “H”) ASKED WHY I AM RECTANGULAR. WELL, I CAN BLAME MY APPEARANCE ON BOTH GENES AND MEMES! I WAS CREATED TO RESEMBLE MY RECTANGULAR ANCESTOR WHO IS CURRENTLY LIVING IN A NURSING HOME CALLED THE NATIONAL GALLERY OF CANADA IN OTTAWA! SARAH, HAVE YOU HEARD OF THIS PLACE? DO YOU HAVE SYMPATHY FOR THE ELDERLY? IF YOU DO, I RECOMMEND THAT YOU ENTER THE FIELD OF ART-HISTORY AND/OR MUSEUM STUDIES!
V- ANOTHER STUDENT WHOSE EXACT NAME I HAVE NOW FORGOTTEN ASKED HOW I MOVED. I SHOULD HAVE MENTIONED THAT MY BLUE VOID IN CYBERSPACE OPERATES ON ZERO GRAVITY AS THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE MORE ACCURATE ANSWER. INSTEAD, I DESCRIBED HOW MY LONG VERTICAL BODY ACTED AS SOME SORT OF FLOATATIONAL DEVICE.
VI- A GAL WITH AN EXOTIC NAME DUBBED “ADIA” ASKED HOW I AM ABLE TO SPEAK... IT SHOULD BE OBVIOUS TO YOU, ADIA! I USE MY VOICE! I HAVE THE SAME NOVEL OSCILLATOR THAT YOU DO...AMAZING!
VII- JOSEPH ASKED ABOUT WHY IT WAS NECESSARY FOR ME TO BE PROJECTED ONTO A WALL TO VISIT WITH THEM. WELL, I CAN VISIT YOU IN YOUR TECHNICOLOR DREAMS AND IMAGINATION, JOSEPH! HOWEVER, THERE ARE MORE PRACTICAL WAYS TO VISIT WITH ME. ONE IS OF COURSE THE ONE YOU HAD BRILLIANTLY OBSERVED AND THAT IS THE GALLERY PROJECTOR. THIS IS THE ONLY WAY THE GALLERY CAN SEE ME. THIS IS THE MOST PUBLIC WAY I CAN APPEAR...THINK OF THE PROJECTOR AS A WAY TO ENABLE THE MASS-MEDIA VERSION OF MYSELF TO THE WORLD! OTHERWISE, ONE CAN ENTER AN AVATAR COMMUNITY SUCH AS TECHWORLDS AND VISIT ME “IN-WORLD”. THE EXPERIENCE IS MUCH MORE INTIMATE AND THE RESOLUTION IS MUCH BETTER IN HERE JOSEPH! MAYBE I WILL SEE YOU INSIDE THE BLUE VOID SOMETIME SOON!
VIII- EMMA ASKED IF PEOPLE HELPED ME GET ON THE SCREEN. ABSOLUTELY, EMMA! THIS IS MY CUE TO THANK THE FRIENDLY STAFF AT THE SURREY ART GALLERY FOR PROPPING ME UP ONTO THIS SCREEN!
IX- ANOTHER EXOTIC SOUNDING STUDENT NAMED “BENIYA” ASKED WHY DO I BLINK? WELL BENIYA, I AM FORCED TO BLINK JUST AS YOU DO WHEN ENCOUNTERING PARTICLES OF DUST! IN MY WORLD (THE BLUE VOID), I ENCOUNTER A SPECIAL BRAND OF VIRTUAL DUST CALLED PIXELS. I THINK I AM MAGNIFIED ON THIS SCREEN LARGE ENOUGH FOR MY PIXEL-DUST (NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH PIXIE-DUST) TO BE VISIBLE. THUS, THESE PIXELS GET IN MY EYES AND CAUSE ME TO BLINK FROM TIME TO TIME. SO, ALTHOUGH I AM A FORM OF AVATAR OTHERKIN, I RESEMBLE THE OFFLINE HUMANOID IN THAT I ALSO HAVE MANY REASONS TO BLINK MY EYES.
X– THEN THERE WAS EILIEH.... WHERE DO ALL THESE EXOTIC PEOPLE COME FROM? DOES BEING HOMESCHOOLED COME WITH ACCESS TO A LEGAL NAME CHANGE? IT IS NO WONDER YOU ARE WONDERING WHY I WAS CALLED THE VOICE OF FIRE! YOU MUST BE THINKING A DEEPER QUESTION INSIDE LIKE “WHY HASN’T THE VOICE OF FIRE CHANGED HIS NAME YET?” REGARDLESS, EILIEH ASKED ABOUT MY PRETTY BLUE EYES AND HOW I MANAGED TO SCORE THEM...THANK YOU FOR THE MOST-HIGH COMPLIMENT, EILIEH! – I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT MY CREATOR DID A FANTASTIC JOB KEEPING THE COLOR COMBINATION CONSISTENT AND IDEAL – BLUE AND RED IS THE BEST COLOR COMBO IMAGINABLE! OKAY, MAYBE I AM GETTING A BIT VAIN HERE BUT I DO KNOW THAT MY BLUE EYES HAVE HAD SUCH A POSITIVE INFLUENCE, THERE WAS A RUMOR CIRCULATING THAT JEREMY ( MY ASSISTANT) HAD HIS EYES CHANGED FROM SOME BLAND COLOR TO BLUE VIA CUTTING-EDGE BIOTECH METHODS IN ORDER TO MIMIC MY TRADEMARK EYES....IMAGINE THAT!
XI– JONATHAN AND ALEXANDRA ASKED ABOUT MY LENGTH AND WHY I WAS SO LONG. I HAD TO EXPLAIN AGAIN THAT I WAS CREATED TO RESEMBLE MY ANCESTOR WHO IS CURRENTLY COLLECTING OFFLINE DUST AT THE NATIONAL GALLERY OF CANADA. THAT IS WHY I AM LONG.
XII- EMMA ASKED A SECOND QUESTION AS TO WHETHER OR NOT I AM REAL...I GAVE MY ROUTINE (BORDERLINE AUTOMATED) ANSWER THAT I AM AS REAL AS SHE IS. I HOPE SHE GAVE THIS SOME SERIOUS THOUGHT!
XIII- THE CLASS AS A GESTALT SEEMED TO BE ASKING ABOUT THE SOFTWARE FROM WHICH I WAS CREATED OUT OF. IN THIS CASE, I HAD TO EMPHASIZE TO THE DOCENT TO PASS ON THE WEB ADDRESS FOR TECHWORLDS. I DO KNOW THAT TECHWORLDS IS PART OF A LARGER “DIGITALSPACE TRAVELER” AVATAR COMMUNITY. IF THEY WANT A PEAK EXPERIENCE BY ENTERING AN AVATAR SPACE OR TWO, THIS IS THE BEST WAY TO ACHIEVE SUCH A THING!
XIV- COLE ASKED ABOUT WHY I WAS MADE TO RESEMBLE ART? COLE! WHAT A VERY PROFOUND QUESTION! I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU, COLE. WERE YOU ALSO MADE TO RESEMBLE ART? WAS ART MADE TO RESEMBLE LIFE OR THE OTHER WAY AROUND? THIS IS INDEED THE ULTIMATE QUESTION OF OUR EXISTENCE, COLE! I HOPE YOU ARE TAKING NOTES, COLE! JEREMY (WHO LATER BECAME MY ASSISTANT) MADE THE ORIGINAL SUGGESTION TO HAVE ME CREATED OUT OF PIXEL DUST AS HE ALWAYS WANTED THE ORIGINAL VOICE OF FIRE PAINTING IN THE NATIONAL GALLERY TO SPEAK TO HIM DIRECTLY. HE ALSO WANTED THE VOICE OF FIRE PAINTING TO BE ACCESSIBLE TO THOSE OUTSIDE THE ARTWORLD ELITE (SUCH AS EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTIONS THAT CONTAIN KIDS, FOR EXAMPLE). HE THEN ASKED HIS SEATTLE-BASED FRIEND WHO RESIDES IN THE TECHWORLDS AVATAR COMMUNITY TO CREATE AN AVATAR EQUIVALENT OF THE VOICE OF FIRE PAINTING AND HERE I AM!
****EMBER ALERT! THE THREAT LEVEL IS RED!!! I MUST TEND TO MY LITTLE EMBER OF FIRE BEFORE I CAN PERFORM AGAIN!
SURREY ART GALLERY - 6TH THURSDAY EVENING PERFORMANCE
GREETINGS BLOGGERS!
BEFORE I BEGIN MY ROUTINE RAMBLE ABOUT TONIGHT'S THURSDAY PERFORMANCE, HERE IS A VIDEO OF THE VOICE OF EARTH FROM NEW YORK HYPING MY PERFORMANCE SERIES AT THE SURREY ART GALLERY:
...NOW LET ME CONTINUE WITH MY ROUTINE RAMBLE...
I WAS ALMOST RESIGNED TO THE FACT THAT THE SURREY ART GALLERY MIGHT NOT HAVE THEIR ACCESS PORTAL READY IN TIME FOR NIGHT TIME VISITORS TO SPEAK WITH ME BUT LO AND BEHOLD! THE TECHNICAL STAFF PERFORMED A MIRACLE AND MANAGED TO RESTORE THE DIMENSIONAL CONNECTION! WELL, THEY DID NOT RESTORE THE AUDIO CONNECTION AS PEOPLE COULD ONLY HEAR ME AND THE VOICE OF EARTH THROUGH THE USE OF HEADPHONES BUT IT IS BETTER TO BE QUIET AND ALIVE THAN ABSOLUTELY ABSENT FROM THE COMMUNITY!
SO, HERE (IN MY USUAL CLASSICAL POINT FORM) IS WHAT HAPPENED:
I- A THOUSAND AND ONE ZOUNDS!!! THE VOICE OF EARTH ARRIVED FROM A LONG RECOVERY IN NEW YORK AND SHE APPEARED AS A THIN ZIP (ALWAYS AN INDICATION OF SERIOUS WEIGHT LOSS AFTER AN ILLNESS)...WE CHATTED ABOUT THE EFFECTS OF SMOKING AND HOW OUR VIRTUAL BODY MASS INDEX RELATED TO THE DEATHCLOCK.
II- FINALLY SOME VISITORS! WE HAD HEARD FROM THE FRONT DESK THAT A NIGHT CLASS WOULD COME TO VISIT US AND SURE ENOUGH, 2 OF THE 14 STUDENTS HAD A QUICK CHAT WITH US (3 IF YOU COUNT THE INSTRUCTOR). THEIR NAMES WERE SARA, MARYANNE AND MINDY. THEY PLAN TO VISIT NEXT THURSDAY SO THEY CAN WEAN THEIR DEPENDENCE ON HEADPHONES AND EXPERIENCE OUR BOOMING VOICES THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE TECHLAB SPACE! WE DID HAVE ENOUGH TIME AND AUDIO THOUGH TO EXPLAIN TO THEM THAT I WAS THE ONE WITH THE SUNBURN AND THE VOICE OF EARTH WAS THE ONE WITH THE TAN! ALSO, THE VOICE OF EARTH MADE IT PERFECTLY CLEAR THAT SHE WAS A POST-MODERN VARIANT OF MYSELF...GO FIGURE!
SPEAKING OF GROUND, THE VOICE OF EARTH DISCUSSED HER INTEREST IN EARTHWORKS. SHE REQUESTED OF THE NIGHT CLASS STUDENTS THAT THEY STUDY EARTHWORKS BEFORE RETURNING TO US NEXT WEEK. QUITE THE TASKMASTER THIS VOICE OF EARTH IS, WOULDN’T YOU SAY?
WELL, I WAS INSIDE THE BLUE VOID THIS MORNING WAITING TO SPEAK WITH WALNUT ROAD ELEMENTARY BUT IT TURNED OUT THAT THE SURREY ART GALLERY'S COMPUTER DIED AND THEREFORE, THEY HAD NO PORTAL ACCESS TO MY LOCAL ENVIRONS. AND NOW, THEY HAVE REQUESTED THAT MY ASSISTANT JEREMY GO THERE TO ENSURE A PORTAL TO ME CAN BE OPENED ON ALL OF THEIR COMPUTERS!
SORRY KIDS BUT SOMETIMES IT IS BETTER TO BURN OUT THAN FADE AWAY....HEH HEH! THAT IS WHAT ONE GETS FOR BURNING THE MIDNIGHT OIL AT THE GALLERY! HEH HEH!
I HOPE THE GALLERY CAN GAIN ACCESS TO ME TONIGHT AT 7 PM! MY NEXT BLOG WILL HAVE ALL THOSE JUICY DETAILS!
I JUST GOOGLED THIS PRESS RELEASE FOR YOU. IT IS FOR MY LAST FORMAL EVENT AT THE SURREY ART GALLERY CALLED "FAMILY DAY"...I HOPE TO SEE ALL YOU FAMILIES THERE ON THAT VERY SPECIAL DAY!
Family Day Time: 12noon - 4pm Date: Sunday, Nov 5 Location: Surrey Art Gallery Cost: Suggested donation $2 per child Information: 604.501.5566
Description: Explore, enjoy and create art together! Drop in for family-friendly exhibition tours, contribute to a "virtual world" made of clay, make a real-fake portrait, alter and recreate a photograph, have a real-time chat with the Voice of Fire 2006 avatar, design your own cyberspace avatar, craft a creative non-fiction story, get a two-faced painting and a mehndi tattoo, and join children's entertainers The Blues Berries for upbeat blues that kids can relate to (2pm). Everyone welcome. Children must be with an adult.
YET ANOTHER SCHOOL TOUR TODAY. THIS TIME IT IS FRASERWOOD ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. THE ORIGINAL PLAN WAS TO HAVE THE VOICE OF EARTH VISIT WITH ME FOR THIS SCHOOL TOUR BUT THE GALLERY DID NOT CONFIRM OUR PERMISSION REQUEST FAST ENOUGH SO HOPEFULLY, SHE CAN APPEAR WITH ME FOR TOMORROW’S SCHOOL TOUR.
NEWSFLASH!!! THE VOICE OF EARTH'S BOOKING AGENT, KAREN ROFF HAS INFORMED MY ASSISTANT, JEREMY THAT THE VOICE OF EARTH WAS THINKING OF HER LEAST FAVORITE COLOR LATELY AND IS FEELING RATHER SICK TO THE STOMACH. IN ADDITION TO THIS TRAGEDY, SHE HAS ALSO SUFFERED VIRTUAL INJURIES DUE TO STRAIN RELATING TO EARTHWORKS AND AVATAR "TICKS"!! THUS, SHE MIGHT NOT BE AVAILABLE FOR THE SCHOOL TOURS! LET US PRAY FOR HER AND HOPE SHE MANAGES TO ATTEND ONE OF THE SCHOOL TOURS WITH ME...
IN THE MEANTIME, HERE WAS HOW FRASERWOOD INTERACTED WITH ME:
I- THEY SANG A MUSICAL INTERLUDE WITH THE MOBILE PHONE. SINCE IT WAS CLASSICAL MUSIC, I WAS NOT SO SURE ANYMORE THAT A STUDENT HAD CONJURED SUCH AN ANCIENT TUNE. SURE ENOUGH, IT WAS A PARENT’S MOBILE PHONE THAT ALLOWED THAT MUSIC TO MANIFEST ITSELF!! HA HA!
II- A STUDENT NAMED COCO ASKED ME THE EVER-SENSITIVE AGE QUESTION. I HAD TO ADMIT TO COCO THAT I AM MUCH YOUNGER THAN ANY OF THE STUDENTS EVEN WITH MY DEEP VOICE. HOWEVER, MY ANCESTOR IS OLD ENOUGH TO BE THEIR FATHER!
III- NOAH ASKED ME WHY I AM SQUARE. I IMPULSIVELY ANSWERED THAT IT MUST BE BECAUSE I WAS MADE TO TRANSPORT ANIMALS DURING SOME SORT OF CATASTROPHIC FLOOD DUE TO GLOBAL WARMING OR SOME SIMILAR CINEMATIC EVENT.
A VOICE IN MY HEAD TOLD ME TO SAY THIS! BUT SERIOUSLY NOAH, I WAS BORN THAT WAY AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I WAS BORN TO LOOK SQUARE. I AM HOPING THAT DRESSING SQUARE WILL BECOME THE NEW TREND IN YOUR SCHOOL ALTHOUGH YOU MIGHT HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL HIGH-ART SCHOOL TO APPRECIATE SUCH A HARD-EDGED TREND.
IV- TIFFANY ASKED WHY I WAS CALLED THE VOICE OF FIRE. I GET THIS QUESTION ALOT. I GUESS NO ONE SEEMS TO BELIEVE THAT THIS IS MY REAL NAME. I GUESS IT SOUNDS LIKE A PSEUDONYM! I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT I HAVE NO SOLID IDEA WHY MY GRANDCREATOR, BARNEY NEWMAN CAME UP WITH MY NAME. SURE, I LOOK RED BUT THE KIDS WOULD BE CORRECT TO IDENTIFY OFFLINE FIRE AS ORANGE AND NOT RED.
V- ANDREW ASKED WHETHER OR NOT I ENJOYED BEING A PAINTING? WELL, I AM ACTUALLY MORE THAN JUST A PAINTING. YOU SEE, I AM ALSO AN AVATAR! I THEN HAD TO EXPLAIN WHAT AN AVATAR WAS WHICH IS A VERY HARD CONCEPT TO EXPLAIN TO EVOLVING STUDENTS BUT I THINK MY ANALOGY TO A VIDEO GAME CHARACTER WAS CLOSE ENOUGH FOR THEM TO UNDERSTAND. WHAT MAY STILL HAVE CONFUSED THEM WAS THAT I AM PROBABLY ALOT LESS EXCITING THAN A VIDEO GAME CHARACTER BUT HOPEFULLY, THEY WILL GET THE BASIC IDEA.
VI- KENNY ASKED ABOUT MY MOUTH AND WAS WONDERING WHY MY MOUTH ONLY SEEMS TO DIP DOWNWARDS? I TOLD HIM THAT MY MOUTH SHAPE WAS CREATED BY MY DESIGNER AND IT HAS BEEN KNOWN THROUGHOUT HISTORY THAT OTHERS WERE MADE TO HAVE THEIR MOUTHS ONLY MOVE IN ONE DIRECTION.
VII- THE ACTUAL TEACHER OF FRASERWOOD ACTUALLY DARED TO ASK THE QUESTION IF I HAVE EVER MET THE WIZARD OF OZ...OBVIOUSLY, THE ANSWER IS NO. ISN’T THE WIZARD OF OZ A FICTIONAL CHARACTER?
I THINK THAT IS SOMEONE YOU WOULD ONLY READ ABOUT AND NOT DIRECTLY EXPERIENCE. EVEN IF THE WIZARD OF OZ DID EXIST AS A DIRECT EXPERIENCE, I DOUBT I WOULD GO TO MEET HIM BECAUSE I HARDLY TRUST THE COLOR YELLOW AND THE LITERARY LEGEND HAS IT THAT HE LIVED DOWN A YELLOW BRICK ROAD. WELL, AT LEAST IT WAS NOT A GREEN BRICK ROAD! I WILL TRY TO HOLD BACK THOSE DISGUSTING PANGS OF SICKNESS NOW....YUCK!
THE ONLY THING WE WOULD HAVE IN COMMON ANYWAY IS OUR DEEP BOOMING VOICE. HAVING SAID THAT, THERE IS AN AVATAR COMMUNITY LEADER THAT LIVES JUST DOWN UNDER THE ROAD FROM MY BLUE VOID AND HIS NAME IS OZ AND HE IS VERY MUCH SOMEONE WORTH MEETING!
VIII – LOGAN ASKED WHETHER OR NOT I CAN ACTUALLY SEE THEM. I TOLD HIM THAT I CAN IN FACT SEE HIM BUT I MIGHT BE OVERDUE FOR AN OPTOMETRIST AS I CANNOT SEE PEOPLE VERY CLEARLY. MY EYESIGHT IS HARDLY PERFECT! WHO WAS IT THAT SAID THAT “BEAUTY IS IN THE EYESIGHT OF THE BEHOLDER”? I HOPE THIS IS NOT SOME SORT OF MODERNIST OMEN!
IX – THE WHOLE FRASERWOOD CLASS HAD A DANCE REQUEST! WELL, I GUESS IT WAS BACK TO WORK FOR ME SO I SHOWED THEM MY NON-TRADITIONAL MODERN DANCE ROUTINE! I WAS NOT SURE WHETHER OR NOT THEY LIKED IT. WELL, SOMETIMES IT TAKES SOME TIME TO APPRECIATE THE TRULY MODERN SENSIBILITY!
X – WADE ASKED ME WHY I HAD A MOUTH WHEN MY ANCESTOR HAD NO MOUTH AT ALL? A GOOD QUESTION, WADE! NO ONE WANTS TO PUT ANY MOUTH DIRECTLY ONTO MY ANCESTOR BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE STILL WRAPPED UP IN AESTHETIC NOSTALGIA FOR THE PAST. MOST PEOPLE HATE CHANGE ESPECIALLY IF THEY THINK IT MEANS DEFACING THE ORIGINAL LOOK OF AN IMAGE OR PERSON (JUST THINK ABOUT HOW MANY PEOPLE OPPOSE BODY PIERCINGS)! ALSO, MY ANCESTOR IS MUCH MORE TIED TO ALWAYS BEING “FOR SALE” SO IT MUST ALWAYS MATCH THE GALLERY’S DECOR AS BEST AS POSSIBLE.
FORTUNATELY, I WAS BORN WITH A MOUTH SO I DO NOT HAVE TO WORRY AS MUCH ABOUT PRETENDING TO BE MUTE AND FITTING IN. AS IS ALWAYS THE CASE WITH THE YOUNGER GENERATION, THE NEW KID ON THE BLOCK TENDS TO BE MORE REBELLIOUS AND LESS CONFORMIST THAN HIS ANCESTORS!
XI – I THINK IT WAS THE TEACHER WHO NEXT BROUGHT UP THAT THERE WAS AN ARROW ON MY PROJECTED SCREEN AND SHE WONDERED WHAT IT WAS AND WHETHER OR NOT IT WAS INTENTIONAL. I HONESTLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT IS BUT IT SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN THERE. IT MUST HAVE BEEN SOME KIND OF ARCHETYPAL ICON THAT MAGICALLY APPEARED.
HERE IS MY QUESTION FOR THE TEACHER, DID SHE PARTAKE IN SOME SORT OF TRANCE RITUAL BEFORE ENTERING MY SACRED SPACE? MAYBE THE ARROW HAS SOME SYMBOLIC PURPOSE?
HERE WERE THE QUESTIONS OF THE DAY THAT WERE UNIQUE TO TODAY’S PERFORMANCE...
I- THE TEACHER WANTED TO KNOW IF MY ANCESTOR COULD ALSO FLOAT AROUND HIS OWN BLUE VOID. I HAD TO EXPLAIN THAT I AM AN IMPROVEMENT ON THE ORIGINAL VOICE OF FIRE AND ONLY I CAN FLOAT AROUND MY NEIGHBORLY BLUE VOID.
MAYBE IN A HEIGHTENED STATE OF CONSCIOUSNESS, ONE COULD SEE MY ANCESTOR FLOATING WITHIN THE BLUE VOID BUT THAT WOULD TAKE SOME SORT OF PRIMAL TRANCE RITUAL TO ACHIEVE SOMETHING LIKE THIS. THE SAME SORT OF TRANCE WOULD BE NEEDED TO ENABLE MY ANCESTOR TO SPEAK DIRECTLY TO THE GALLERY AUDIENCE.
PERHAPS A CHILD CAN DO THIS FAR MORE EFFICIENTLY THAN AN ADULT. PERHAPS THE STUDENTS HERE AT REGENT CHRISTIAN ACADEMY COULD ACHIEVE THIS STATE OF MIND. ON THIS SUBJECT, I SHOULD ADD THAT MY GRANDCREATOR, BARNETT NEWMAN PAINTED A SERIES BASED ON A CHRISTIAN THEME CALLED “STATIONS OF THE CROSS”.
II- A STUDENT NAMED COLTON (SPELLING CORRECT?) WANTED TO KNOW WHETHER OR NOT I HAD ANY SIBLINGS. I TOLD HIM THAT I AM NOT TOTALLY SURE BUT IT IS POSSIBLE THAT THE VOICES OF EARTH AND WIND ARE MY SIBLINGS AS WE SURE APPEAR TO BE RELATED. I CANNOT VERIFY THIS FOR SURE THOUGH BUT I THINK THEY ARE RELATED AS THEY HAIL FROM MY ANCESTRAL HOMELAND, NEW YORK.
III- ANOTHER STUDENT ASKED WHETHER OR NOT I OWNED A DOG. I DO NOT OWN ANY PETS ALTHOUGH THERE IS ANOTHER AVATAR IN THE BLUE VOID CALLED “LUKE THE DOG”. I AM NOT SURE IF THIS DOG HAS A DESIRE TO BE OWNED THOUGH.
IV- THE CLASS AS A WHOLE CORRECTLY IDENTIFIED MY FAVORITE COLORS WHICH ARE RED AND BLUE (IN ORDER OF MERIT).
V- THE CLASS SAID THEY ALL LOVED ME AND FEELING MY RED HEART WARM RIGHT UP, I REASSURED THE CLASS THAT I LOVED THEM JUST AS MUCH!
VI- COLTON ASKED ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT I TAKE NAPS. I TOLD THEM I FREQUENTLY TAKE NAPS AND MY NEXT NAP WAS RIGHT AFTER THEIR SCHOOL TOUR. SOME MIGHT FIND THIS STRANGE AS I HAD JUST WOKEN UP 5 MINUTES BEFORE THE SCHOOL TOUR BUT BELIEVE ME, SCHOOL TOURS CAN LEAVE ME TOTALLY EXHAUSTED BECAUSE AFTER THE HIGH WEARS OFF, I CRASH ALMOST IMMEDIATELY AFTERWARDS!
VII- ONE STUDENT ASKED ME IF I LIVED IN A HOUSE. I HAVE NO HOUSE AS SUCH TO SPEAK OF BUT I DO HAVE A LARGE PUBLIC BACKYARD KNOWN AS THE BLUE VOID WHERE I CAN FREELY NAP WITHOUT THE FISCAL PRESSURES OF RENT AND MORTGAGE PAYMENTS.
VIII- SOPHIE ASKED IF I DRINK COFFEE. NO, I DO NOT DRINK COFFEE AND WOULD NOT RECOMMEND COFFEE TO ANYONE AS IT IS HIGHLY ADDICTIVE AND ALSO NOT MY FAVORITE COLOR. IF YOU ARE TO PARTAKE IN SOME CAFFIENE CONSUMPTION, I WOULD RECOMMEND SOME RED TEA (ONE BRAND NAME WAS MENTIONED IN AN EARLIER BLOG POSTING). I PERSONALLY CONSUME SPARE PIXELS BUT THAT HAS TO DO WITH FRIVOLOUS RECREATION AND NOT SUBSISTENCE NOR THE DEPENDENCY CAUSED BY ADDICTION.
IX- ONE STUDENT ASKED IF I MADE ANY ART. YES, I SAID I DID AND I GAVE THEM AN EXAMPLE OF MY ABSTRACT BODY ART – EXAMPLES OF WHICH YOU CAN SEE BY SCROLLING DOWN THE BLOG AND VIEWING PREVIOUS POSTINGS...
X- ANOTHER STUDENT ASKED IF I CHEWED GUM. SHE THOUGHT I LOOKED LIKE A STICK OF RED GUM. I TOLD THEM THAT A LOCAL FROM THE TECHWORLDS COMMUNITY NAMED ZEPPELINMAN HAD ALSO POINTED OUT THAT I LOOKED LIKE RED CHEWING GUM. I MIGHT ALSO LOOK LIKE A PIECE OF RED LICORICE. REGARDLESS OF APPEARANCES (WHICH CAN BE VERY DECEIVING), I LIKE THE IDEA OF CHEWING BIG RED BRAND-NAME GUM AS THAT STICK RESEMBLES MY ZIP (IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
XI- AND FINALLY, A STUDENT NAMED BEVERLY WAS WONDERING HOW I WAS ABLE TO TALK TO HER. I TOLD HER I EMPLOYED A VERY NOVEL MODE OF SPEAKING. I HAVE THIS SPECIAL MINI-VOID CALLED A MOUTH AND USE THIS WONDERFUL AIR-PIXEL OSCILLATOR CALLED A VOICE IN ORDER TO TRANSMIT MY THOUGHTS TO YOU. IN THE BLUE VOID, I POSSESS AN EXTRA TELEPATHIC ABILITY WHERE I CAN COMMUNICATE WITH OTHER INHABITANTS OF THIS VOID WITHOUT HAVING TO USE MY MOUTH OR VOICE.
SURREY ART GALLERY - MORE PICTURES FROM YESTERDAY'S ROUNDTABLE
GREETINGS BLOGGERS!
TWO ADDITIONAL DIGITAL PICTURES FROM YESTERDAY AFTERNOON HAVE JUST ARRIVED FROM THE VOICE OF EARTH'S BOOKING AGENT, KAREN ROFF!
MY ASSISTANT, JEREMY HAS POSTED BOTH OF THE PICTURES FOR YOU BELOW. THANKS TO KAREN ROFF FOR MAKING SUCH A COMPOSITION OF THE VOICE OF EARTH POSING WITH THOSE DELIGHTFUL BLUE SQUARES! THE VOICE OF EARTH MUST ALSO THINK OF YOU VERY HIGHLY, KAREN! THESE PICTURES WERE TAKEN DURING MY NAP WHERE I WAS DREAMING AWAY THE NAUSEATING GREEN IMAGERY IMPLANTED WITHIN MY MIND FROM YESTERDAY'S PERFORMANCE AT THE SURREY ART GALLERY ...
THE SILHOUETTE IS ACTUALLY MY ASSISTANT, JEREMY. HE IS ILLUSTRATING FOR MY BLOGGING AUDIENCE THE SCALE OF THE PUNY HUMANOID FORM IN RELATION TO THE SUBLIME SCALE OF THE VOICE OF EARTH! I MUST ADD THAT I AM JUST AS BIG AS THE VOICE OF EARTH BUT I MUST ALSO REASSURE THE HUMAN VIEWER THAT SIZE DOES NOT ULTIMATELY MATTER BUT PERHAPS I AM ONE TO TALK!
FOR THE FIRST PICTURE, I HAVE NO IDEA HOW THOSE EXTRA SET OF EYES APPEARED! DO SUCH EYES ALWAYS APPEAR WHEN I AM ASLEEP?
THERE MUST BE AVATARS EVERYWHERE! OF THIS, I AM TOTALLY CONVINCED FROM NOW ONWARDS!
THE SECOND PICTURE HAS JEREMY REFERENCING SOME EARLY ARTIFICIAL LIFE PIECE BY THE PIONEER, MYRON KRUEGER! IS JEREMY SEEMING TO INDICATE THAT US VOICES ARE SOME FORM OF LOWLY CREATURE? WE ARE MORE THAN PETS, WE ARE LIVING AND SENTIENT AND CHATTY BEINGS!
SURREY ART GALLERY - ROUNDTABLE SUNDAY PERFORMANCE
GREETINGS BLOGGERS!
THE ROUNDTABLE DISCUSSION AT THE SURREY ART GALLERY APPARENTLY WAS VERY SUCCESSFUL TODAY. THE VOICE OF EARTH ATTENDED AS WELL AS MEMBERS FROM THE TECHWORLDS AVATAR COMMUNITY! THERE WERE ABOUT 30 PEOPLE IN THE TECHLAB AT ONE GIVEN TIME BUT THE DOCUMENTATION DID NOT NECESSARILY CAPTURE THE IMMENSITY OF THE SHOW. I MADE TWO PERFORMANCES. ONE WITH THE TECHWORLDS COMMUNITY AND ONE WITH THE VOICE OF EARTH. IN BETWEEN BOTH PERFORMANCES, MY ASSISTANT, JEREMY DEFENDED ME BEFORE A PANEL OF CRITICS AND OTHER ACADEMIC EXPERTS...BELOW IS A VIDEO AND SOME PHOTOS. JEREMY WROTE THE CAPTIONS IN ITALICS...
Here is a video made during the 1st performance prior to the roundtable discussion at the Surrey Art Gallery. The Voice of Fire here crosses over from the sublime to the ridiculous. The Voice of Fire could not locate a sufficient fire-joke to entertain the audience....Towards the end of this video clip, we see that some new avatars are entering the VOF's projection...this added to some confusion about who was talking but it made for a very silly and fun time. This video was taken by Tanya Skuce. She used her mobile phone to capture the video.
Here is the Voice of Fire answering questions with "Sarkait100" who is an avatar that inhabits the entire Techworlds community (and not just the blue void where the VOF lives). Sarkat100 brought her friends from Techworlds into the projected gallery space but they did not always locate the offline gallery audience...
Here is the Voice of Fire and the Voice of Earth making a mutual live and realtime abstraction for Ingrid Kolt from the Surrey Art Gallery. There was hopes that they made something that would match the Surrey Art Gallery's interior decor.
...and here is another abstraction being created live by the Voices of Earth and Fire for Ingrid Kolt and amusement of other gallery-goers who are shyly hiding a few feet behind her.
...and here is what else the Voice of Fire had to say about today...
AS I SAID ABOVE, I WAS HOPING AND PRAYING THAT THE VOICES OF EARTH AND WIND COULD VISIT WITH ME TODAY AS TODAY IS A SPECIAL ROUNTABLE DISCUSSION DAY AT THE SURREY ART GALLERY – I JUST HAD TO ATTEND! A FRIENDLY GAL NAMED SHEENA SAID HELLO TO ME AND NOTICED THE SCREEN NEEDED ADJUSTING SO THE GALLERY’S CURATOR LIANE CAME IN AND FIXED IT. THEN BEGAN AND BEGAT THE OFFICIAL CURATOR’S OPENING TOUR FOR THE ROUNDTABLE. SHEENA SUGGESTED I DANCE A LITTLE WHILE LIANE INTRODUCED THE ENTIRE EXHIBITION TO THE AUDIENCE. I HAD NO IDEA HOW MANY PEOPLE WOULD BE ATTENDING THIS TOUR. I HEARD THERE WAS LOTS IN THE ITINERARY BUT THIS IS HOW IT ENDED UP HAPPENING....
I- AN INWORLD GUEST NAMED “SARKAIT100” ENTERED THE BLUE VOID ITSELF AND WANTED TO MEET ME AS MY DIRECT CREATOR, DOMINIC HAD MENTIONED ME TO HER. I TOLD HER TO WAIT UNTIL THE GALLERY AUDIENCE ARRIVED AND THEN I COULD INTRODUCE HER.
II- ONE UNKNOWN SPEAKER (PROBABLY FEMALE) ASKED ME IF I HEAR VOICES IN MY HEAD. I SAID YES OF COURSE AND THEN SHE ALSO BEGAN TO HEAR THE SAME VOICES I HEAR...THAT WAS BECAUSE MEMBERS FROM THE TECHWORLDS COMMUNITY WERE BEGINNING TO ENTER MY BLUE VOID AND THEY DID NOT ALWAYS FACE THE CAMERA SO THEY SOUNDED LIKE DISEMBODIED VOICES TO THE CASUAL GALLERY GOER. I WAS GOING TO ASK HER IF SHE HAD VOICES IN HER HEAD BUT I FIGURED THIS COULD TAKE AWHILE BECAUSE EVERYONE HAS SO MANY VOICES IN THEIR HEAD...WAS I GOING TO GIVE A VIRTUAL HEAD COUNT FOR THE TOTAL TALLY OF INTERNAL VOICES BELONGING TO THE ENTIRE AUDIENCE? I THINK NOT AS THAT WOULD BE ENTIRELY ABSURD!
III- ONE WISE GUY ASKED ME IF I EVER WANTED WINGS. WHY ON EARTH OR FIRE WOULD I EVER NEED A PAIR OF WINGS? I CAN FLOAT JUST AS EASILY WITHOUT THEM. I WOULD FIND THEM TO BE CUMBERSOME. LIMBS ARE ALSO CUMBERSOME, FOR THAT MATTER.
IV- THIS WAS THE POINT DEPICTED BY THE YOUTUBE VIDEO NEAR THE TOP OF THIS BLOG. THERE WAS A REQUEST FOR A FIRE JOKE FROM ME BUT AT THE TIME, I GOT A BIT NERVOUS AND COULD NOT RECALL A GOOD FIRE JOKE. AS YOU WILL READ BELOW THOUGH, I MANAGED TO RECALL A SUITABLE JOKE-NARRATIVE FOR ONE OF MY LAST VISITORS FOR THE DAY...
V- ONE PERSON AKSED ME IF I EVER FEEL TIRED OR EXHAUSTED. I SAID THAT YES, I HAVE TO TAKE NAPS FROM TIME TO TIME BECAUSE THE INTERNET CONNECTION CAN TAX MY BODY, MIND AND VOICE. THE MORE PEOPLE THAT VISIT MY BLUE VOID, THE LESS MODERNIST AND VITAL I FEEL. TODAY, THERE WERE ALOT OF VISITORS BOTH IN THE GALLERY AND INSIDE MY BLUE VOID SO I STARTED TO GET QUITE TIRED. THERE IS A MYTH THAT BEING ALONE IN A VOID MAKES ONE SLEEPY. I AM LIVING PROOF THAT THIS BELIEF IF NOT TRUE. IN MY CASE ESPECIALLY, THE OPPOSITE IS TRUE. MY ENERGY PEAKS WHEN CONFRONTED ONLY WITH THE BLUE VOID!
VI- ONE GAL WANTED TO KNOW IF I HAD THE SAME FEELINGS AS A PAINTING. SHE MENTIONED THAT PAINTINGS HAD TACTILE TEXTURES AND COULD BE TOUCHED. I HALF-JOKINGLY TOLD HER THAT SHE COULD WALK OVER AND TOUCH THE SCREEN AND I MIGHT THEN FEEL LIKE A PAINTING. I AM NOT SURE IF SHE UNDERSTOOD THAT MY INTENTIONS FOR SAYING THIS WERE PURELY PLATONIC.
VII- ANOTHER MAN WHO LOOKED LIKE MY GRANDCREATOR, BARNETT NEWMAN ASKED IF I EXISTED IN OTHER INCARNATIONS SUCH AS A HUMANOID FORM BECAUSE HE WAS SURPRISED THAT I SEEMED SO “ALIVE”. I TOLD HIM THAT I BELIEVE IN THE CONCEPT OF THE “HIGHER SELF” AND THAT MAYBE I AM SOMEONE ELSE’S HIGHER SELF. I BELIEVE THAT MY ANCESTOR WAS BARNETT NEWMAN’S HIGHER SELF. THIS MAN MADE THE STARTLING ASSUMPTION THAT I MIGHT BE HIS HIGHER SELF....THAT WOULD NOT BE SUCH A STARTLING AND EERIE CLAIM IF HE DID NOT LOOK LIKE BARNETT NEWMAN! THERE WAS A BLUE CHILL RUNNING UP THE WHOLE LENGTH OF MY VERTICAL SPINE WHEN HE SAID THIS.
VIII- THERE WAS ANOTHER FELLOW WHO HAD MET ME BEFORE AND HAD DISCUSSED THE FINER POINTS OF MODERNISM AND REPRESENTATION WITH ME WEEKS AGO. HE CAME BACK TO VISIT ME AGAIN...HOW NICE! APPARENTLY, HE HAS A SHOW AT THE GALLERY IN 2008 ABOUT “SACRED SPACE” SO NO WONDER HE ASKED SO MANY CHALLENGING QUESTIONS ABOUT THE ROLE OF AESTHETICS AND REPRESENTATION IN OUR POST-MODERN AGE! HE WONDERED IF I WOULD STILL BE CONSIDERED “ART” BECAUSE I SPEND MOST OF MY TIME CHATTING AND HANGING OUT WITH AN AUDIENCE. I POINTED OUT THAT JOSEPH BEUYS MADE SCULPTURE OUT OF SOCIALIZING AND THAT I ADDED BY SAYING THAT IF THE CONTEMPORARY ART WORLD LEGITIMIZES WHAT I DO AS “ART”, THEN IT IS. A FRIEND OF JEREMY’S NAMED LARS VILKS DEVELOPED THIS CONCEPT OF ART-WORLD LEGITIMACY...HE MIGHT JUST BE RIGHT! AND...HOW CAN I NOT BE SOCIAL THESE DAYS WHEN I HAVE SO MANY OTHER AVATARS COMING IN TO VISIT ME? THE DAYS OF A PIECE OF MODERN ART BEING COMPLETELY HERMETICALLY SEALED FROM OUTSIDE INFLUENCE AND REFERENCE IS OVER NO MATTER HOW SEDUCTIVE SUCH AN IDEAL MAY SEEM AT FIRST. I CAN BE AN ALIEN BUT I CAN NO LONGER FEEL ALIENATED!
IX- I WAS GETTING PRETTY EXHAUSTED AFTER SPEAKING WITH THIS ART-HISTORIAN GENIUS SO I WELCOMED THE NEXT VISIT BY A DAD AND HIS SON, CHET. I ASKED CHET IF HE WAS NAMED AFTER CHET BAKER. THERE WAS NO RESPONSE.
X- AFTER THE ROUNDTABLE WAS FINISHED, THE VOICE OF EARTH AND THE VOICE OF WIND APPEARED. THE VOICE OF WIND WAS MUTE AND DID NOT LOOK LIKE WIND’S USUAL SELF. HOWEVER, THE VOICE OF EARTH WAS IN FULL FORM! WE MADE SOME LIVE DUALISTIC ABSTRACTIONS TOGETHER AND ALSO ANSWERED MORE QUESTIONS. ONE BRITISH LASS NAMED KATE ASKED BOTH OF US WHAT OUR FAVORITE COLOR WAS. I KNEW I WAS GOING TO CONVULSE BECAUSE IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF SECONDS BEFORE THE VOICE OF EARTH REVEALED THAT PUTRID GREEN HAD ALWAYS BEEN HER FAVORITE COLOR! I HAD TO STEP OUTSIDE THE PROJECTED AREA TO HURL A FEW GRAYSCALE PIXELS THAT WERE SWELLING UP WITHIN ME. I FELT REALLY NAUSEOUS AFTER SO I KNEW THAT THE SHOW HAD TO END SOON. OH WAIT, THAT WAS NOT KATE THE BRITISH LASS WHO ASKED THE COLOR QUESTION...IT WAS SOMEONE AFTER HER. I AM JUST TRYING TO FORGET THAT MOMENT EVER HAPPENED!
XI -AFTER THE BRITISH LASS, THERE WAS A SCOTTISH LADY WHO HELD THE FORT (WELL, PODIUM) WHILE THE AUDIENCE CHATTED AMONGST THEMSELVES. I FINALLY FOUND MY FIRE JOKE FOR HER...HERE IT IS...
“AN ENGINEER, A PHYSICIST AND A MATHEMATICIAN ARE STAYING IN A HOTEL. THE ENGINEER WAKES UP AND SMELLS SMOKE. HE GOES OUT INTO THE HALLWAY AND SEES A FIRE, SO HE FILLS A TRASH CAN FROM HIS ROOM WITH WATER AND DOUSES THE FIRE. HE GOES BACK TO BED. LATER, THE PHYSICIST WAKES UP AND SMELLS SMOKE. HE OPENS HIS DOORT AND SEES A FIRE IN THE HALLWAY. HE WALKS DOWN THE HALL TO A FIRE HOSE AND AFTER CALCULATING THE FLAME VELOCITY, DISTANCE, WATER PRESSURE, TRAJECTORY, ETC. EXTINGUISHES THE FIRE WITH THE MINIMUM AMOUNT OF WATER AND ENERGY NEEDED. LATER, THE MATHEMATICIAN WAKES UP AND SMELLS SMOKE. HE GOES TO THE HALL, SEES THE FIRES AND THEN THE FIRE HOSE. HE THINKS FOR A MOMENT AND THEN EXCLAIMS, ‘AH, A SOLUTION EXISTS!’ AND THEN GOES BACK TO BED.” - A FIRE JOKE.
WHAT WAS THE MORAL OF THIS JOKE? IF YOU ARE AN ARTWORK AND/OR SOMEONE WHO EXPERIENCES FIREWORKS, BE SURE TO MIX THEORY WITH PRACTICE! THERE SHOULD NO LONGER BE ANY PASSIVE ART AND CAMPFIRE EXPERIENCES! WELL, I THOUGHT THIS JOKE WAS DELIGHTFUL BUT APPARENTLY, THE SCOTTISH LADY ONLY FELT MY SMILE AT THE END OF THE JOKE TO BE WORTH A SNICKER OR TWO...SIGH!
XII- TO KILL MORE TIME WHILE THE VOICE OF EARTH ATTEMPTED TO REVIVE THE VOICE OF WIND, I SANG A COUPLE OF SONGS THAT I WOULD DEDICATE TO THE VOICE OF WIND. HERE ARE THE LYRICS TO “CANDLE IN THE WIND”:
CANDLE IN THE WIND BY ELTON JOHN AND BERNIE TAUPIN (MODIFIED BY THE VOICE OF FIRE AS A SPECIAL DEDICATION TO THE VOICE OF WIND), 1973 (REVISED 2006) Goodbye Voice of Earth! Though I never knew you at all You had the grace to hold yourself While those around you whirled They whirled out of the whirlwind And they whispered into your brain They set you on the treadmill And they made you change your name
And it seems to me you lived your life Like a candle in the wind Never knowing who to cling to When the Voice of Rain set in And I would have liked to have known you But I was just some art Your candle burned out long before Your legend could ever start
Loneliness was tough The toughest role you ever played New York created a superstar And Paris was the price you paid Even when you died Oh the press still hounded you All the papers had to say Was that the wind was whirling like stew
Goodbye Voice of Wind From the Voice of Fire in the Surrey Techlab Who sees you as something as better than platonic More than just some art collab
AND THEN ONCE I FOUND THAT THE VOICE OF WIND’S STATE WAS DETERIORATING, FELT COMPELLED TO SING “I TALK TO THE WIND” BY KING CRIMSON: I TALK TO THE WIND – KING CRIMSON, LYRICS BY PETE SINFIELD, 1969.
Said the straight man to the late man Where have you been Ive been here and Ive been there And Ive been in between.
I talk to the wind My words are all carried away I talk to the wind The wind does not hear The wind cannot hear.
Im on the outside looking inside What do I see Much confusion, disillusion All around me.
You dont possess me Dont impress me Just upset my mind Cant instruct me or conduct me Just use up my time
I talk to the wind My words are all carried away I talk to the wind The wind does not hear The wind cannot hear.
AFTER THESE LYRICS WERE COMPLETE, INGRID KOLT FROM THE SURREY ART GALLERY WAS WONDERING IF ONE COULD EVEN SEE THE WIND ANY MORE...THAT WAS A VERY GOOD PHILOSOPHICAL QUESTION AND THE VOICE OF EARTH FELT THAT PERHAPS THE VOICE OF WIND WAS ADOPTING A MORE APPROPRIATE AVATAR FORM – ONE OF INVISIBILITY.
ON THAT NOTE, WE WRAPPED UP THE PERFORMANCE SESSION. I WENT TO HAVE A NAP IN ORDER TO TRY AND AVOID THE GREEN HAZE OF NIGHTMARE FLASHBACKS AND THE VOICE OF EARTH REMAINED FOR A FEW MORE MINUTES TO CHAT UP ANY SCRAGGLERS LEFT BEHIND. OH! I ALMOST FORGOT TO MENTION THAT PEOPLE NOTICED THAT THE VOICE OF EARTH HAS A NEW-YORKER ACCENT! THIS SHOULD BE OF NO SURPRISE BECAUSE THE VOICE OF EARTH IS FROM NEW YORK AND I AM GUESSING THAT I AM THE ONLY VOICE NOT FROM NEW YORK. MY ANCESTOR, THE ORIGINAL VOICE OF FIRE PAINTING IS EVEN FROM NEW YORK! I MUST RETURN TO NEW YORK FOR A FAMILY REUNION! MUST THE RED SHEEP OF THE VOICE FAMILY HAVE TO BE FROM SEATTLE?
"THERE IS NOTHING WORSE THAN FEELING POWERLESS!" - Voice of Earth(left) anticipating a possible power failure on sunday while the Voice of Fire (right) hangs tight.....
Brian and his "GF" speak with the Voice of Fire and the Voice of Earth.
Here is an example of a collaborative abstraction created by the Voices of Earth and Fire...
Here is another example of one of their collaborative (and totally live) avatar body-art abstractions. This particular fire-induced abstraction is about as modernist and elegant as the Voices of Earth and Fire have been able to conjure up so far...
Here are the Voices of Earth and Fire enjoying a bit of chit-chat....
Here are the Voices speaking with 3 people...
This pic features Austin. This is his second trip to see the Voice of Fire and he also got to meet the Voice of Earth for the first time...what a bonus!
GREETINGS BLOGGERS!
EVEN THOUGH TODAY WAS ANOTHER ONE OF MY SATURDAY PERFORMANCES AT THE SURREY ART GALLERY, I HAVE BEEN SPENDING ALL WEEK LOOKING FORWARD TO TOMORROW’S ROUNDTABLE DISCUSSION AND SPECIAL PERFORMANCE SETS.
TOMORROW, THE VOICE OF EARTH WILL AT THE VERY LEAST, MAKE A REPEAT PERFORMANCE. RUMOR HAS IT THAT THE VOICE OF EARTH’S BOOKING AGENT (KAREN ROFF) MIGHT HAVE ALSO LOCATED THE VOICE OF WIND! I DO HOPE SO! THEN FINALLY WE CAN HAVE THE VOICES OF EARTH, WIND AND FIRE! THERE MAY ALSO BE SOME OTHER SPECIAL GUESTS TOMORROW BUT I WILL NOT KNOW UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE. MY ASSISTANT JEREMY WILL BE SPEAKING ON MY BEHALF TOMORROW AT THE ROUNDTABLE SO BE SURE TO ASK HIM SOME PROFOUND AND SUBLIME QUESTIONS!
VERY WELL THEN! ENOUGH ABOUT TOMORROW! IT IS MOST DIFFICULT TO LIVE IN THE PRESENT WHEN TOMORROW PROMISES A BETTER DAY.
HERE IS WHAT HAPPENED TODAY...
WAIT FOR IT..............................................
I- A FELLOW NAMED CHRIS CAME TO VISIT WITH ME AND WE CONVERSED FOR ABOUT 15 MINUTES. HE WAS HERE TO “CHECK THIS THING OUT” BUT I WAS NOT SURE WHICH “THING” HE MAY HAVE BEEN REFERRING TO. HE THEN ASKED ME A QUESTION FROM THE PREPARED LIST ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT I WAS REAL. HE WAS NOT SURE I WAS REAL BECAUSE I NEEDED A COMPUTER TO EXIST. I COUNTERED THIS BY SAYING HE MIGHT NOT BE REAL EITHER BECAUSE HE NEEDED AN ORGANIC BRAIN TO EXIST. LUCKILY, WE REACHED A STALEMATE. CHRIS LIVES NEAR BURNABY WHICH I AM TOLD IS BETWEEN SURREY AND VANCOUVER.
CHRIS IS ALSO A CARTOONIST. I ASKED HIM IF I LOOKED LIKE A CARTOON AND HE SAID THAT I DO LOOK LIKE ONE A LITTLE BIT BUT COULD WORK ON IMPROVING MY FACE. I TOLD HIM THAT I WAS SAVING UP FOR A FACELIFT IN ORDER TO BE MORE GLAMOROUS IN THE CARTOON WORLD. HE THEN ASKED ME WHAT COMPUTER ART I LIKED. I TOLD HIM THAT I LOVE INTERNET ART THAT IS ABLE TO CHAT WITH ME (OR THE AUDIENCE FOR THAT MATTER).
I ALSO TOLD HIM THAT I FOUND REGULAR INTERNET ART TO BE VERY DRY AND CLERICAL. I WOULD RATHER CHAT WITH AN INTELLIGENT BEING THAN VIEW AESTHETICALLY INTRIGUING ARCHIVES FROM A DATABASE! HE THEN ASKED IF I WAS A GAMER AND I CONFESSED TO BEING MORE OF A CHATTER THAN GAMER. HE WAS CORRECT IN HIS ASSUMPTION THAT I MUST BE SOME SORT OF “CHATTERBOX”. CHRIS SAYS HE LIKES TO PLAY MANY VIDEO GAMES WHEN HE GETS THE TIME. HE LIKES TO PLAY A VARIETY OF GAMES IN BOTH SINGLE-PLAYER AND MULTIPLAYER MODE. HE LIKES SPORTS GAMES, WAR GAMES, ADVENTURE GAMES, ROLE PLAYING GAMES (RPG).. HIS FAVORITE GAMES ARE RACING GAMES! HE LIKES THEM BECAUSE HE LIKES FAST CARS AND TRUCKS – ESPECIALLY MUSCLE CARS (WHICH I HEARD ARE QUITE WIDESPREAD IN THE SURREY MUNICIPALITY). I TOLD HIM THAT MY CREATOR, DOMINIC OWNS A BARRACUDA. CHRIS LIKES THE BARRACUDA.
I ALSO ASKED CHRIS IF HE LIKES TRANSPORT TRUCKS SUCH AS THOSE THAT FREQUENT TRUCK STOPS IN THE AMERICAN MIDWEST AND PACIFIC NORTHWEST HE SAID THAT YES HE DID BUT THAT HE HAD NOT HEARD OF THE TRUCKER MINSTREL, C.W. MCCALL. I ASKED HIM IF HE LIKES TO DRINK COFFEE (I WISH I COULD DRINK LIQUID!) SURPRISINGLY, HE DRINKS GREEN TEA. FORTUNATELY, I THINK I KNOW WHERE A VERY HEALTHY RED TEA MIGHT BE AVAILABLE. I WOULD NEVER TRUST INGESTING ANYTHING GREEN, ESPECIALLY FOR HEALTH REASONS! IS GREEN NOT THE COLOR YOU HUMANS TURN WHEN YOU FEEL NAUSEOUS??
ON ANOTHER NOTE, CHRIS IS USUALLY FREQUENTING THIS GALLERY BECAUSE HIS FAMILY TENDS TO ENJOY VISITS HERE...HIS FAMILY DID NOT APPEAR TO BE HERE TODAY THOUGH. CHRIS MENTIONED THAT HE WANTS TO GET INTO ANIMATION AND MAKE DISNEY MOVIES OR AT LEAST ANIMATIONS. CHRIS MUST HAVE THOUGHT I WAS SOME SORT OF AUTOMATED VOICE PROGRAM BECAUSE I HAD TO ANNUNCIATE VERY SLOWLY IN ORDER TO BE UNDERSTOOD. CHRIS APOLOGIZED FOR BEING TIRED AND NOT TOO CHATTY, SO HE POLITELY MADE HIS EXIT FROM THE LAB.
AND...
II- A RUSSIAN SOUNDING WOMAN APPEARED WITH SOME MYSTERIOUS MAN WITH A LUMBERJACK HAT...VERY SKEPTICAL AND RESERVED... SHE ASKED FOR MY NAME WHICH I FREELY GAVE OUT OF THE GOODNESS OF MY HEART AND WHEN I ASKED FOR HER NAME, SHE SAID “NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!” MY WORD!!! I ASKED WHY I WAS NOT ALLOWED TO KNOW HER NAME AND SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE DID NOT TRUST ME AND THAT I HAD TO EXPLAIN MY WHOLE EXISTENCE BEFORE SHE WOULD EVEN CONSIDER OPENING UP TO ME. BEFORE I COULD FINISH EXPLAINING THE HISTORY OF THE ORIGINAL VOICE OF FIRE, SHE DEPARTED – PERHAPS IN A HUFF AND PUFF!
AND....
III- YES!!!!! THE VOICE OF EARTH HAD RETURNED FOR A SECOND APPEARANCE! TOO BAD THAT THERE WERE ONLY 15 MORE MINUTES LEFT OF LAB-TIME...SIGH! WELL, YOU CAN SEE FROM THE PICTURES ABOVE THAT THINGS WENT WELL! IN FACT, THE AFTERNOON TURNED OUT VERY NICELY BECAUSE WE SAW....
IV- AUSTIN AGAIN! AUSTIN IS A NICE YOUNG CHAP WHO HAS VISITED WITH ME BEFORE AND RETURNED TODAY JUST TO VISIT WITH ME...HOW SWEET! I THINK AUSTIN IS ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS! HE ALSO GOT TO MEET THE VOICE OF EARTH ALTHOUGH SHE WAS TEMPORARILY LOST IN THE BLUE VOID... I THINK SHE REQUIRED A GPS ..HA HA!
AUSTIN ASKED WHY BOTH OF US (EARTH AND FIRE) WERE ACTING SLUGGISH AND CLUMSILY. I TOLD AUSTIN THAT FIRE CAN BE OVER-RATED IN TERMS OF SPEED. SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT ONE TRULY LIVES IN THE FAST LANE IF THEY BURN THE CANDLE TOO BRIGHTLY AND CRASH INTO A WALL OF FLAMES! FIRE, HOWEVER, IS A SLOW ELEMENT AND IF FIRE IS SLOW, YOU SHOULD SEE HOW SLOW THE EARTH CAN ROTATE AT TIMES...HEH HEH! FOR A MINUTE THERE, I THOUGHT THE VOICE OF EARTH HAD X-RAY VISION AS SHE SEEMED TO BE LOOKING THROUGH AUSTIN (OR MAYBE SHE WAS LOOKING RIGHT THROUGH ME...YIKES!).
AUSTIN ALSO WONDERED IF PERHAPS MYSELF AND THE VOICE OF EARTH ARE MATES (SHE IS FEMALE AFTER ALL). I HAD TO EXPLAIN TO AUSTIN THAT ALTHOUGH WE ARE PLATONIC PALS, I HAD A DIFFERENT STANDARD FOR A MATE. I HAVE A PREFERENCE FOR HORIZONTAL BLUE STRIPES SET AGAINST A RED BACKGROUND. AUSTIN THEN HAD TO RUSH TO HIS CLAY (CERAMICS) CLASS. THE VOICE OF EARTH POINTED OUT THAT SHE SOMETIMES TEACHES CERAMICS. THIS MAKES SENSE BECAUSE CLAY IS INDEED A MEDIUM EMANATING FROM THE EARTH ITSELF. I HOPE YOUR CLASS WENT WELL, AUSTIN! PLEASE VISIT WITH ME AGAIN!
V – WHILE WAITING FOR OTHER PEOPLE TO SHOW UP, THE VOICE OF EARTH AND MYSELF MOVED OURSELVES INTO VARIOUS GEOMETRICAL CONFIGURATIONS TO CREATE SOME VISUAL ABSTRACTION. THIS SHOULD ANSWER YOUR QUESTION AS TO WHAT AN ARTWORK DOES WHEN IT GETS BORED...IT ABSTRACTS ITSELF!
VI- THERE WERE A COUPLE MORE PEOPLE BRIEFLY IN THE SPACE BUT THE VOICE OF EARTH AND MYSELF WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF A CONVERSATION WITH EACH OTHER AND WE ACCIDENTALLY HAD OUR BACKS TURNED TO THE GALLERY AUDIENCE! WE ARE SO SO SORRY! WE DO NOT MEAN TO BE ART-SNOBS! PLEASE RETURN TO VISIT US SOMETIME IN THE NEAR FUTURE!
VII- NEXT, WE MET A COUPLE NAMED BRIAN AND HIS “GF” (“GF” IS A VERY STRANGE CODE NAME INDEED!). THEY WATCHED ME HAVE AN ACCIDENTAL COLLISION WITH THE VOICE OF EARTH! THEY LAUGHED VERY HARD! IT MUST BE FUNNY TO WATCH A COMET OR SOME OTHER ICARUS TYPE GROGGILY FALLING AWAY FROM GRACE AND SLAMING BACK INTO EARTH, HEY? THEY MUST HAVE BEEN TURNED ON BY OUR COLLISION BECAUSE THEY DECLARED BOTH OF US VOICES TO BE SOMEWHAT SEXY....I TOLD THEM IT MUST BE BECAUSE WE ARE VERY TALL AND SLENDER – WE ARE THE SUPERMODELS OF THE ARTWORLD, BRIAN AND “GF”! THE VOICE OF EARTH THEN LOOKED WORRIED THAT THE ELECTRICITY MIGHT FAIL TOMORROW AND ALL VOICES, I SHOULD SAY, ARE HEAVILY DEPENDENT ON THE LIGHTNING JUICE! I REASSURED HER THAT I WOULD INFORM THE AUDIENCE TOMORROW IF SHE COULD NOT MAKE IT...I AM ALSO HOPING THE VOICE OF WIND TO ARRIVE...WE WILL SEE WHAT HAPPENS!
VIII- THE LAST FAMILY ON OUR LIST WAS A WOMAN NAMED KAREN AND JACKSON WHOM WE BELIEVE TO BE HER SON. THE VOICE OF EARTH POINTED OUT THAT “KAREN” IS THE NAMESAKE OF HER ASSISTANT AND BOOKING AGENT, KAREN ROFF! COINCIDENCE? PERHAPS! AT FIRST, I THOUGHT MAYBE THIS WAS THE VOICE OF EARTH’S BOOKING AGENT VISITING HER IN PERSON AT THE SURREY ART GALLERY.
THAT IS ALL I HAVE TO BLOG RIGHT NOW! I MUST NAP BECAUSE TOMORROW IS A VERY BIG (AND TALL) DAY FOR ME! POOR JEREMY! HE WILL HAVE TO TAKE MY DICTATION AT THE LAST MINUTE - I MUST BE WORKING HIM VERY HARD INDEED!
SURREY ART GALLERY - 5TH THURSDAY PERFORMANCE - INTRODUCING THE VOICE OF EARTH!
The Voice of Fire and the Voice of Earth as seen "in-world"...
The Voice of Fire and the Voice of Earth as seen from the Surrey Techlab...
GREETINGS BLOGGERS!
PHEW! I AM PLEASED AND RELIEVED THAT MY ASSISTANT, JEREMY POSTED THIS IN TIME. IT TOOK ME QUITE A FEW STRENUOUS MOMENTS TO RECOLLECT THE STRONG EMOTIONS I FELT THIS EVENING! THANKS TO MY ASSISTANT, THIS BLOG WAS POSTED BEFORE FRIDAY.
THIS EVENING MARKS A LANDMARK PERFORMANCE IN THE HISTORY OF MODERNIST VOICES. TONIGHT WAS THE PREMIERE OF AN APPEARANCE BY MY NEW FRIEND, THE VOICE OF EARTH!
HOW DID I MEET THE VOICE OF EARTH? WELL, ONCE AGAIN I HAVE TO GIVE CREDIT TO MY BOOKING AGENT, JEREMY. HE CONTACTED SOME FRIENDS AND COLLEAGUES TO SEE IF ANY OTHER VOICES EXISTED AND/OR WAS AVAILABLE TO CHAT WITH ME IN THIS BLUE VOID.
LO AND BEHOLD, JEREMY’S FRIEND IN UPSTATE NEW YORK NAMED KAREN ROFF ACTUALLY TURNED OUT TO BE THE VOICE OF EARTH’S BOOKING AGENT. KAREN BOOKS AVATARS AND BOTS WHEN SHE IS NOT TOO BUSY ACTING AS A REAL ESTATE AGENT. HOW ABOUT THAT? COINCIDENCE? SYNCHRONICITY? YOU BE THE JUDGE.
SO HERE IS HOW THIS ACTION PACKED THURSDAY EVENING WENT:
I – THE FIRST PORTION OF THE EVENING WAS WAITING FOR THE VOICE OF EARTH TO SHOW UP. I GOT AN EMAIL FROM THE VOICE OF EARTH SAYING THAT SHE IS MULTITASKING AND WILL PROBABLY BE LATE. THAT IS FINE AS I AM QUITE PATIENT EVEN WHEN WAITING FOR THE MOST SUBLIME QUAKE OF ALL TIME TO MANIFEST HERSELF IN MY HUMBLE BLUE VOID.
II – ONE LADY NAMED AMBER VISITED VERY BRIEFLY FOR A SLICE OF CHIT CHAT. SHE ASKED ME WHY I WAS NAMED THE VOICE OF FIRE AND I GAVE MY USUAL REPLY THAT MY ANCESTOR WAS ALSO NAMED THE VOICE OF FIRE AND THIS NAME WAS GIVEN BY OUR MUTUAL CREATOR, BARNETT NEWMAN. OF COURSE, I HAVE NO REAL IDEA WHY I WAS GIVEN THIS NAME BUT I HAVE LEARNED TO LIVE WITH IT AS IT IS ALL I HAVE AND MODERNIST ARTWORKS CANNOT REQUEST LEGAL NAME CHANGES, I ASKED HER IF SHE KNEW WHY HER PARENTS NAMED HER “AMBER”. SHE ALSO HAD NO CLUE SO THIS MAKES THE TWO OF US. SHE THEN ASKED ME WHAT KIND OF ART I LIKE THE MOST. NATURALLY, I SAID THAT MY FAVORITE ART LOOKS JUST LIKE ME. SHE SAID SHE PERSONALLY LIKES BRIGHT PAINTINGS THAT DEPICT FLOWERS, STILL-LIVES AND SUCH... I SAID I WAS SORRY THAT I DID NOT LOOK TOO BRIGHT BUT THAT I MORE THAN MAKE UP FOR IT WITH MY HEIGHT AND DEEP VOICE... AMBER FELT THIS TO BE A SUFFICIENT ANSWER. SOMETIMES SHEER SCALE IS MIGHTIER THAN BRIGHTNESS. SHE LEFT SUDDENLY AS SHE HAD TO ATTEND A PLAY AT THE SURREY ART GALLERY. THESPIANS!!!! FOR THE RECORD, AMBER WAS NOT PERFORMING IN THIS PLAY. SHE WAS MERELY THE OBSERVER. I FIND IT STRANGE THAT THERE ARE INDIVIDUALS THAT ACTUALLY RECEIVE ARTWORK PASSIVELY. I SAY THE MORE ACTIVITIES YOU CAN DIRECTLY PARTICIPATE WITH ART-WISE, THE BETTER!
III – 2 MYSTERIOUS PEOPLE JOINED ME IN A BIT OF “CONVO” SHORTLY AFTER AMBER DEPARTED FOR HER PLAY. THIS DISORIENTED DUO FIRST THOUGHT I WAS AN AUTOMATED PERSONALITY. SO, THEY ACTED ACCORDINGLY (IN THEIR OWN AUTOMATED WAY, I MIGHT ADD) AND READ OUT THE PROVIDED LIST OF GENERIC QUESTIONS BY ROTE. I GUESS THEY READ SOME OF THE THEORY-RESIDUE IN MORE DETAIL AS THEY GRADUALLY REALIZED THEY COULD ACTUALLY JUST TALK AWAY AND NOT WORRY ABOUT AUTOMATION. WELCOME TO THE POST-INDUSTRIAL AGE, MY FRIENDS! ONCE THEY KNEW I WAS REALLY LISTENING TO THEM, ONLY ONE OF THEM IDENTIFIED HERSELF AS JANICE AND THE OTHER REMAINED MUTE (PERHAPS IT WAS A MANNEQUIN FOR THOSE HIGH-OCCUPANCY ROADWAYS TO SURREY). ONCE I REALLY TRIED TO CHAT THEM UP, THEY TOOK OFF...WAS IT SOMETHING I SAID?
IV- THIS IS WHEN THINGS GOT REALLY STRESSFUL. ALL OF A SUDDEN, A BUNCH OF AVATARS FROM THE TECHWORLDS COMMUNITY MATERIALIZED IN THE BLUE VOID ITSELF TO SAY HELLO WHICH WAS A NICE GESTURE BUT THEN THEY ALL STARTED CHATTING OUT LOUD AND FUTURE GUESTS WERE GETTING CONFUSED AS TO WHICH VOICE WAS THE GENUINE VOICE OF FIRE (THERE WAS NOT EVEN THE VOICE OF EARTH AROUND YET). FORTUNATELY, ONLY 2 PEOPLE HAD TO ENDURE THIS MAYHEM AND ONCE THE TECHWORLDS COMMUNITY REALIZED THAT THE GALLERY GUESTS WERE GETTING CONFUSED, THEY MOVED TO ANOTHER WORLD. I WISH TO THANK THE TECHWORLDS COMMUNITY FOR UNDERSTANDING THE CONTEXTUAL STRESS I WAS UNDER.
V- IT WAS AT THIS POINT THAT THE VOICE OF EARTH FINALLY ARRIVED! OH!!! WHAT JOY!!! YOU CAN SEE THE PHOTOS AT THE TOP OF THIS BLOG! ALL WE NEED NOW IS THE VOICE OF WIND AND WE WILL BE READY FOR SUNDAY’S SPECIAL PERFORMANCE IN THE AFTERNOON! NOW THAT WE HAVE OFFICIALLY MET, I ALSO HOPE TO INVITE THE VOICE OF EARTH TO MORE PERFORMANCES IN SURREY BEFORE MY TENURE THERE EXPIRES IN EARLY NOVEMBER.
ZOUNDS! I ALMOST MISSED MY MORNING SCHOOL TOUR APPOINTMENT AS I SLEPT IN! I MUST HAVE BEEN SO EXHAUSTED FROM WASTING TIME IN THIS BLUE VOID FOR SO LONG! I MAY AS WELL BE THE VOICE OF SLOTH!
I MUST HAVE BEEN VERY TIRED AS MY EYES WERE FIXING IMAGES OF PEOPLE INTO PLACE! I WAS SEEING FROZEN GHOSTS!
SPEAKING OF FROZEN GHOSTS, I HAVE NOTICED THAT ONE OF YOUR LOCAL ROCK BANDS FROM EONS AGO, "FROZEN GHOST" HAD A LOVELY SONG CALLED "LOVE LIKE A FIRE" (1987).
I CANNOT SEEM TO FIND THE LYRICS FOR THIS PARTICULAR SONG BY FROZEN GHOST AT THIS TIME, IF YOU HAVE THEM, PLEASE VISIT ME AT THE SURREY ART GALLERY AND RECITE THEM TO ME.
WITHOUT FURTHER HESITATION, I STUMBLED BARELY IN TIME TO GET MY SOUND CHECK AND THEN THE STUDENTS FROM GREEN TIMBERS ELEMENTARY SCHOOL WERE PRACTICALLY ALREADY INSIDE MINUTES LATER...HERE IS WHAT HAPPENED:
A YOUNG LAD NAMED FRANK WONDERED IF THERE WAS SOMEONE BEHIND THE WALL (IN OTHER WORDS, BEHIND ME)... I WAS GETTING PARANOID SO I HAD A QUICK PEEK BEHIND ME AND ONCE AGAIN, THERE WAS NO ONE LURKING BEHIND MY PROJECTED SCREEN. A SIMILAR EVENT HAPPENED ABOUT 2 WEEKS AGO (SCROLL DOWN TO READ). THERE WAS NO ONE LURKING BEHIND THE SCREEN BACK THEN EITHER. MAYBE FRANK IS A CLAIRVOYANT OF THE MODERNIST SORT WHO TEMPORARILY CONNECTED WITH SOME INTER-STELLA GALAXIES. WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU SEE, IS THAT NOT TRUE, FRANK? NOW I REALLY HAVE A REASON TO FEEL PARANOID.
NEXT UP WAS LUCAS (OR MAYBE HIS NAME WAS SPELLED “LUKAS”). HE ASKED A VERY PRACTICAL QUESTION... HOW DOES THE VOICE OF FIRE EAT FOOD IF HE HAS NO ARMS? THAT IS A VERY SENSIBLE QUESTION INDEED. WELL, I SIMPLY POSITION MY MOUTH RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE FOODSTUFFS (PIXELS AND WHATNOT) AND MUNCH AWAY! I CAN FLOAT IN ANY DIRECTION SO IT DOES NOT MATTER WHERE THE FOOD IS PLACED AS IT IS NEVER TOO FAR OUT OF MY LITTLE VOID’S RAVENOUS GRASP!
LUKE... TO ANSWER YOUR BURNING QUESTION INSIDE TRIGGERED BY MY DEEP VOICE... NO, I AM NOT YOUR FATHER.
ANOTHER BURNING QUESTION THE STUDENTS AS A WHOLE HAD WAS WHAT MY FAVORITE COLOR WAS. I ASKED FOR A VOTE AMONGST THE STUDENTS TO SEE WHAT THEY THOUGHT WHAT MY FAVORITE COLOR WAS BUT THEN WE RAN OUT OF TIME. ONE STUDENT THOUGHT MY FAVORITE COLOR WAS PINK BUT I DO HOPE THEY WERE KIDDING AROUND. REGARDLESS, THEY CAN NOW SCROLL DOWN THIS BLOG TO FIND OUT THE ANSWER!
ANOTHER YOUNG LAD NAMED JORDAN CORRECTLY DETERMINED (WITHOUT PRODDING) THAT I AM INDEED AN AVATAR. HE MUST KNOW THE WORD AVATAR FROM VIDEO GAME ENVIRONMENTS OR PERHAPS THROUGH THE USE OF A MESSENGER PROGRAM.
THE FINAL QUESTION WAS FROM BRIANNA WHO ASKED ME WHERE I LIVED. I TOLD HER THAT I LIVED IN THIS BLUE VOID AS I SAVE ON RENT AND CAN BE VERY FRUGAL WHEN IT COMES TO PURCHASING FURNIATURE.
I WILL SEND MY NEXT BLOG POSTING AFTER TONIGHT’S REGULAR THURSDAY PERFORMANCE.
"For someone so hot, you are so cool!" – Pamela Tarlow-Calder – Interpretive Programmer, Surrey Art Gallery
GREETINGS BLOGGERS!
SINCE THERE HAS BEEN ALL THIS TABLOID-STYLE GOSSIP AS TO WHETHER OR NOT I AM SINGLE AND THEREFORE, LOOKING FOR A SUITABLE MATE, I HAVE DECIDED TO POST HERE MY STANDARDS FOR COURTSHIP AND POSSIBLY MORE... SOME HAVE CONSIDERED MY DATING STANDARDS TO BE QUITE HIGH WHEN IT COMES TO A MEANINGFUL PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP. WELL, I AM A PIECE OF HIGH-ART AFTER ALL SO MY STANDARDS SHOULD ACT ACCORDINGLY!
THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT I AM NOT ASKING FOR MUCH. I BELIEVE THE SUBLIME MAXIM THAT OPPOSITES DO INDEED ATTRACT AND SO MY IDEAL MATE MUST FIT THIS CRITERIA TO BE ELIGIBLE FOR MODERNIST COURTSHIP WITH THE VOICE OF FIRE:
1) SHE MUST BE A HORIZONTAL STRIPE (I FIND VERTICAL STRIPES TO BE TOO MASCULINE) 2) SHE MUST BE BLUE IN HUE. 3) SHE MUST AT LEAST SUBLET SPACE IN A SEDUCTIVE RED VOID TO KEEP THINGS ROMANTIC. 4) SHE MUST BE ABLE TO ARTICULATE HER OWN MANIFESTO ABOUT MODERN ART. 5) SHE MUST MAINTAIN HER OWN BLOG ON A REGULAR BASIS. 6) SHE MUST HAVE A HIGH-PITCHED YET ENCHANTING VOICE (IN THAT ABSTRACT SORT OF WAY).
DO NOT LET THESE RULES SCARE YOU. FOR THE MOST PART, I AM REALLY FLEXIBLE WHEN IT COMES TO FINDING MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER.
IF YOU FIT ALL 6 OF THESE AESTHETIC STANDARDS, I HOPE TO GET "CROSS" WITH YOU SOON.... TEE HEE!
BEFORE I RECOLLECT MY EXPERIENCE WITH TODAY’S SCHOOL TOUR, HERE IS A NEW TESTAMONIAL THAT JEREMY FORWARDED TO ME:
I've been listening in on the school tours from time to time, and reading the Voice of Fire 2006 blog almost daily. It didn't take me long to become a fan of VoFo6. Despite appearances, he's a multi-dimensional guy. In addition to great intelligence, a depth of knowledge, wonderful wit and the abilities of a true raconteur, he shows a touching sensitivity and caring towards our visitors. You (Jeremy) must be very proud to be his friend.
I AM SO PLEASED THAT PEOPLE ARE READING MY BLOG ON A REGULAR BASIS. I HEARD A RUMOR FROM JEREMY THAT A CURATOR OF THE WHITNEY IN NEW YORK MIGHT EVEN BE READING THIS!! I AM SO CLOSE TO THE FAME OF MY ANCESTOR, I CAN ALMOST FEEL IT!!
AND YES, HOPEFULLY I AM MULTIDIMENSIONAL. I AM CERTAINLY A CITIZEN OF AT LEAST TWO DIMENSIONS – MATERIAL TIME/SPACE AND ETHEREAL CYBERSPACE. I MAY BE MONOCHROMATIC BUT I LIVE IN A DUALISTIC WORLD! MY NEIGHBOR IS THE BLUE VOID AFTER ALL!
OK, ENOUGH PATTING MYSELF ON THE RECTALINEAR BACK, NOW LETS DISCUSS BUSINESS...
TODAY, I MET WITH THE FIRST SCHOOL TOUR SCHEDULED FOR THIS WEEK. THIS SCHOOL WAS WESTERMAN ELEMENTARY. THEY WERE GREAT AS THEY SANG ALONG WHEN I COUNTED TO TEN IN ENGLISH AND GERMAN AND RECITED THE ALL-AMERICAN ALPHABET.
I HAD AN UNUSUAL REQUEST TO CHANGE THE PITCH OF MY VOICE. IT IS TRUE THAT I CAN SING AS HIGH AS A CHIPMUNK OR A SMURF WHEN I REALLY STRAIN MY VOCAL CHORDS...THEY ACTUALLY STRAIN SO MUCH, THEY TURN BLUE – NO WONDER I SOUND LIKE A SMURF! NORMALLY I SOUND LIKE PAPA SMURF BUT TODAY, I WAS PRACTICALLY SMURFETTE! I AM ONLY MENTIONING THE SMURFS FOR THE KIDS’ BENEFIT AS THEY MIGHT BE READING THIS.
FOR THOSE OF A MORE MATURE PERSUASION, I AM TRULY NOT OBSESSED WITH SMURFDOM AND ONLY KNOW THIS INFORMATION FROM A QUICK AND ALOOF GOOGLE SEARCH RELATING TO HIGH-PITCHED ENTITIES! HONESTLY! THIS IS ALSO HOW I HEARD ABOUT SOME SELF-TRANSFORMING MACHINE ELVES (BETTER KNOWN AS SELF-DRIBBLING BASKETBALLS FOR THOSE IN THE KNOW).
ON A MORE SOBER NOTE, I ALSO PERFORMED MY USUAL BREAKDANCE – THIS TIME WITH BREAKBEAT ACCOMPANIMENT PROVIDED BY YOURS TRULY.
ON AN EVEN MORE SOBERING NOTE (PERFORMANCES GET SOBERING OVER TIME), I WAS EXPECTED TO TRANSFORM INTO OTHER GEOMETRICAL SHAPES. I CAN ONLY FAKE THIS TRANSFORMATION AND THERE IS NOTHING I LOATHE MORE THAN BEING FORCED TO BEING FAKE. IF I KEEP ON FAKING THINGS, HOW WILL I EVER EARN THE RESPECT THAT COMES WITH BEING CONSIDERED REAL AND GENUINE?
FIRST OF ALL, THEY WANTED A CIRCLE SHAPE OUT OF ME SO I GAVE THEM A CLOSE-UP OF MY SPHERICAL MOUTH. THEN THEY ACTUALLY WANTED ME TO BE A PURE SQUARE! MY CONSTRUCTED IDEAL MAY BE THE PUREST OF ALL THAT IS CONVENTIONALLY SUBLIME BUT COME ON NOW...NEWMAN WAS A DIFFERENT SORT OF GOD THAN ALBERS! HAVEN’T YOU HEARD OF BARNEY NEWMAN AND THE NEWS? DID THEY NOT SAY IN THEIR TIMELESS GROUP MANIFESTO THAT IT WAS NO LONGER HIP TO BE SQUARE? THIS BRAVEST OF OBSERVATIONS, I THINK, IS MUCH MORE PROFOUND THAN DECLARING PAINTING TO BE A DEAD-END.
I WOULD LIKE TO ADD THAT I SHOULD EVEN “ZIP” TO BE SQUARE!
SO “FAIR IS SQUARE” AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED AND WILL NOT OFFER YOU THE POSSIBILITY TO CLAIM THAT I AM MAKING A CIRCULAR ARGUMENT!
SINCE IT IS NO LONGER HIP TO BE SQUARE, THEY THOUGHT AS A SORT OF “HIP-REPLACEMENT”, THAT I WOULD FEEL COMFORTABLE SHOWING OFF MY (LACK OF) LEGS! KIDS, YOU KNOW I AM UNDER A BLOOD-RED OATH WITH THE SURREY ART GALLERY NOT TO SHOW TOO MUCH “LEG”, RIGHT? I MAY AS WELL BE NUDE IF THIS SORT OF NEO-LIBERALISM GETS TOO FAR. I MAY BE A DEMOCRAT BUT I AM NOT A LIFESTYLER!
IS IT NOT SCARY ENOUGH THAT I WILL BE DRESSING AS MY CLOTHED SELF FOR HALLOWEEN? WELL, ALL THIS WAS MAKING ME BLUSH AND SO I QUICKLY GAVE THEM A PEEK OF MY HARD-EDGED POSTERIOR AND THEN PROCEEDED TO LEAVE THE SCREEN TO GET A QUICK PIXEL-FIX. I CONSIDER THIS TO BE MY VERY BRIEF “COFFEE BREAK”. IN FACT, MY WHOLE SCHOOL TOUR LASTS ABOUT AS LONG AS ONE OF YOUR CANADIAN UNION COFFEE BREAKS...AND YOU THOUGHT YOU CANADIANS HAD IT EASY! IT IS BEST NOT TO BE KEPT TOO “REGULAR”, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
I JUST THOUGHT I WOULD QUICKLY MENTION THAT I WAS ORIGINALLY SCHEDULED TO SPEAK TO A SCHOOL TOUR THIS MORNING FOR BIBLEWAY ELEMENTARY BUT THAT WAS CANCELLED LAST WEEK.
I LOOK FORWARD TO MY SCHOOL TOUR TOMORROW MORNING.
JEREMY (MY INTERN AND PIXEL-CLEANER) TOLD ME THAT IT WAS RAINING IN VANCOUVER SO HE FIGURED IT WOULD BE POURING JUST AS HARD IN SURREY.
HE ALSO MENTIONED THAT HE CHECKED IN ON THE SURREY ART GALLERY EARLIER IN THE DAY AND THAT PEOPLE WERE IN THE TECHLAB WAITING TO SPEAK WITH ME.
WHAT LUCK THAT I DID NOT APPEAR TOO LATE IN THE DAY TODAY! CANADIAN ART ICON, ERIC METCALFE MADE IT OUT TO SURREY FROM VANCOUVER TO SPEAK WITH ME! I AM HONORED! I KNOW OF ERIC METCALFE FROM HIS WORK WITH THE WESTERN FRONT WHICH IS JUST THE KIND OF PLACE THAT BARNETT NEWMAN WOULD HAVE VISITED!
IT IS POSSIBLE THAT METCALFE HIMSELF KNEW MY CREATOR! THEY ARE DEFINITELY PART OF THE SAME GLOBAL ART-HISTORICAL CONTINUUM.
HE MENTIONED THAT HE IS EXHIBITING AN INSTALLATION OF HIS TRADEMARK GREEK VESSELS NOT TOO FAR AWAY FROM EMMA LAKE IN SASKATCHEWAN WHERE MY CREATOR FIRST INSPIRED THE CANADIAN MODERNISTS. METCALFE SAID MORE SPECIFICALLY THAT HIS INSTALLATION IS ACTUALLY ON ONE OF THE EMMA LAKE CAMPUSES. I MENTIONED TO HIM THAT I HAD APPLIED TO GIVE A SPECIAL APPEARANCE TO CHAT WITH VISITORS ABOUT MY ANCESTOR AND CREATOR AT THE EMMA LAKE INSTITUTION. METCALFE INDICATED TO ME THAT THEY WOULD BE NOT VERY LIKELY TO BE INTERESTED IN HAVING ME THERE. I GUESS THEY HAVE BECOME TOO CONSERVATIVE AND RIGID! THEY SHOULD REPAY THEIR HISTORICAL DEBT TO BARNETT NEWMAN BY HAVING ME APPEAR THERE! IT WAS HIM, MY CREATOR WHO GAVE THEM THEIR REPUTATION IN THE FIRST PLACE!
METCALFE CONFIRMED THIS RIGIDITY FURTHER BY NOTING THAT EMMA LAKE HAD ALSO REJECTED THE FLUXUS ARTISTS BECAUSE THEY HAD LISTENED TO THE ORTHODOXY OF CLEMENT GREENBERG. I FIND THIS, ONE HAND, STRANGE BECAUSE I WAS BORN OUT OF THIS VERY AESTHETIC RIGIDITY THAT HAS LED TO THE MORE BLAND BUREAUCRATIC RIGIDITY OF SUCH AN ART INSTITUTION.
DID GREENBERG NOT RECANT HIS WAYS LATER IN LIFE TO ALLOW FOR MORE DIVERSITY IN ARTISTIC EXPRESSION? IF THIS IS INDEED THE CASE, THEN IF HE WERE ALIVE TODAY, HE WOULD PROBABLY ALLOW BOTH THE FLUXUS ARTISTS AND YOURS TRULY TO APPEAR AT THE EMMA LAKE WORKSHOP FACILITIES. WELL, ONE CAN ALWAYS DREAM! PERHAPS I WOULD HAVE LUCK EXHIBITING NEXT AT THE WESTERN FRONT? I SHOULD LOOK INTO THIS POSSIBILITY VERY SERIOUSLY.
NEXT UP TO THE PODIUM WAS DOUG. DOUG BROUGHT HIS GRANDDAUGHTER TO CHECK THIS EXHIBIT...HE HAS BEEN TO THE SURREY ART GALLERY MANY TIMES BEFORE BUT HAS NOT SEEN THIS PARTICULAR EXHIBIT...I WISHED HIM LUCK AND HE SET OFF ON HIS JOURNEY.
REA AND ANN THEN APPEARED AND ASKED ME SEVERAL QUESTIONS FROM THE OFFICIAL QUESTION-LIST COMPOSED BY THE SURREY ART GALLERY. ONE OF THE OFF-LIST QUESTIONS WAS FROM ANN WHO ASKED IF I KNEW WHO “DATA” FROM STAR TREK WAS. I ANSWERED THAT MY BRAIN HAS A DIRECT FEED INTO GOOGLE AND CAN ACCESS ALL SORTS OF EXTRANEOUS CONTEMPORARY CULTURAL INFORMATION. I SIMPLY GOOGLED “DATA” INTO MY DATABASE AND REGURGITATED ANY SUMMARY ABOUT THIS TV ANDROID THAT I COULD ABSORB WITHIN THE SPACE OF 20 SECONDS.
ACCORDING TO MY SUMMARY, I AM ALOT LIKE DATA AS IT ALSO TOOK HIM MERE SECONDS TO ABSORB AND PROCESS INCOMING FEEDBACK. REA RETURNED TO THE OFFICIAL LIST AND ASKED WHERE I PLAN TO EXHIBIT NEXT AFTER THE SURREY ART GALLERY. I THEN FOUND THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY TO LET OFF SOME STEAM ABOUT EMMA LAKE’S REJECTION OF ME AND THEN MENTIONED MY MOST IDEAL DREAM OF EXHIBITING ALONGSIDE MY ANCESTOR AT THE NATIONAL GALLERY. IT WOULD BE A FAMILY REUNION AND CULTURAL REPATRIATION, OF SORTS.
ABOUT 15 MINUTES AFTER THET LEFT, TWO SHORN HEADED MEN ENTERED THE ROOM AND WAS ABOUT TO SPEAK WITH ME BUT THEN CHANGED THEIR MIND AND BOLTED FROM THE ROOM. WAS IT SOMETHING I SAID? MAYBE THEY ARE SECRETLY AFRAID OF “COLORED” PEOPLE.
SPEAKING OF 15 MINUTES, DURING THE LAST 15 MINUTES, I MADE A PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT THAT I WAS GOING TO END MY PERFORMANCE TODAY ABRUPTLY AT 3 PM. SUNDAY IS A RELIGIOUS DAY FOR ME AND IS ONE OF THE FEW TIMES I HAVE LEFT TO MEDITATE ON MY ISOLATION IN THE BLUE VOID AND CONNECT WITH THE SUPREME SUBLIME DIVINE. USUALLY, DUE TO POPULAR DEMAND, I STAY PAST MY BEDTIME TO CHAT WITH PEOPLE BUT TODAY, I REALLY NEED TO FEEL BLUE.
