Saturday, November 04, 2006

SURREY ART GALLERY - FINAL SATURDAY PERFORMANCE!





GREETINGS BLOGGERS!

I HAVE JUST COMPLETED MY LAST ROUTINE SATURDAY PERFORMANCE AT THE SURREY ART GALLERY'S TECHLAB...SNIFF! I HEARD THE WEATHER WAS LOUSY IN SURREY SO I DID NOT EXPECT TOO MANY VISITORS. MY ASSISTANT JEREMY INFORMED ME THAT THE ROADS TOWARDS SURREY HAVE BEEN FLOODING AND ACROSS THE STREET FROM THE GALLERY, THERE IS A SALMON RUN FESTIVAL IN BEAR CREEK PARK. SO, UNLESS I WERE TO GET THE OVERFLOW FROM THIS FESTIVAL INTO THE TECHLAB, MY CHANCES OF GETTING MANY CHATTERS WOULD BE MINIMAL.

OH WELL, A FAREWELL SATURDAY PERFORMANCE DOES NOT ALWAYS HAVE TO BE FESTIVE! BUT LO AND BEHOLD!! I MANAGED TO HAVE SEVERAL VISITORS DESPITE THE OFFLINE WEATHER...THEY MUST HAVE BEEN HARDCORE FANS!! HERE WAS HOW IT WENT TODAY.

I- ..THE FIRST VISITOR MATCHED THE VISUAL DESCRIPTION JEREMY GAVE ME OF HIS FRIEND LAURIE-ANN. APPARENTLY, SHE ARRIVED EARLY TO ENSURE SHE WOULD BE THERE TO SPEAK TO ME IMMEDIATELY SO IT MUST HAVE BEEN HER ALTHOUGH SHE DID NOT REVEAL HER ALIAS.

SHE WANTED TO KNOW IF I WAS CAPABLE OF EXPRESSING MY EMOTIONS AND SO I GAVE HER SEVERAL FACIAL EXPRESSIONS EVEN THOUGH IN MY HEART, I WAS FEELING QUITE EMOTIONALLY NEUTRAL AT THE TIME. WHEN I FLASHED MY MADDEST GRIMACE, SHE FELT I DID NOT LOOK THAT ANGRY. SHE WAS CORRECT. AT WORST, I AM ABLE TO ABSTRACT THE PROCESS OF ANGER RIGHT OUT OF MY SYSTEM! I AM NOT CAPABLE OF ANY PSYCHOTIC EMOTIONS! SUCH EMOTIONS ARE THE EXCLUSIVE DOMAIN OF ARTISTS AND NOT LIVING ARTWORKS! “LAURIE-ANN” (IF THAT WAS REALLY HER) THEN FINALLY ASKED ME A MATH QUESTION. I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR SUCH A LONG TIME FOR SOMEONE TO ASK ME A MATH QUESTION! HER QUESTION WAS NOT VERY CHALLENGING THOUGH. SHE MERELY REQUESTED THE SQUARE ROOT OF 397. AS A RECTANGLE, SQUARE ROOTS ARE MY SPECIALITY! THE CORRECT ANSWER SHOULD HAVE BEEN PAINFULLY OBVIOUS TO HER. EVERYONE MUST KNOW THAT THE SQUARE ROOT OF 397 = 19.390719429665316056297762301691! “LAURIE-ANN” THEN TOOK OFF FOR A BIT TO CHECK OUT THE SALMON-RUN FESTIVAL ACROSS THE STREET BUT RETURNED IN ABOUT 15 MINUTES TO REPORT BACK THAT SHE WITNESSED NO SUCH SPAWNING SALMON – NOT EVEN THE VOICE OF SALMON (WHICH I GUESS WOULD LOOK LIKE A PINK HORIZONAL STRIPE)! SHE THEN WANTED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT MY NAME. I AM THE VOICE OF FIRE 2006 THIS YEAR BUT NEXT YEAR I WILL HAVE TO MAKE A LEGAL NAME CHANGE TO THE VOICE OF FIRE 2007...SIGH! ALL THIS UPGRADING CAN BE TIRESOME, EVEN FOR SOMEONE WHO IS VIRTUALLY A NEWBORN! WE ALSO QUICKLY DISCUSSED THE NATURE OF REALITY. SHE THOUGHT FOR A MINUTE THAT COMPUTER GENERATED ENTITIES MIGHT BE LESS REAL THAN THOSE LIVING IN MATERIAL REALITY BUT THEN I POINTED OUT THAT WE MIGHT ALL BE GENERATED BY A SINGLE COMPUTER...WELL, THAT WAS THE END OF THAT DEBATE! HEH HEH! I AM SURE THIS IS WHY SHE LEFT ALMOST IMMEDIATELY AFTER. .


II- NEXT UP WAS A FELLOW NAMED JORDAN. HE CLAIMED TO BE AT THE GALLERY TO SEE THE WHOLE EXHIBITION BUT MY GUESS WAS THAT HE WAS REALLY THERE ONLY TO CONVERSE WITH ME...WHY WOULD ANYONE BE WILLING TO BRAVE SUCH HAZARDOUS WEATHER FOR ANY OTHER REASON? WHO DRIVES THROUGH THE RAIN JUST TO STARE BLANKLY AT STATIC ART (OR AT BEST, A LOOPING VIDEO)? SO, JORDAN MUST HAVE BEEN TOO SHY TO ADMIT THAT HE IS ONE OF MY HARDCORE FANS! JORDAN SAYS HE ENJOYS VISITING GALLERIES AND I HAD TO REPLY THAT I WAS GLAD HE SPOKE WITH ME FIRST AS SOME PEOPLE IGNORE ME LIKE SOME PIECE OF AVANT GARDE RESIDUE. TO REWARD HIS UTTER DEVOTION TO ME, I TOLD HIM THE HISTORY OF MY ANCESTOR. HE ASKED ME TO WHAT DEGREE DID I THINK I WAS AN IMPROVEMENT OF MY ANCESTOR? WELL, NOT TO OFFEND THE ELDERLY BUT I THINK THAT I AM AN EVOLVED CONTINUATION OF THE AESTHETICALLY COMPOSED MODERNIST MEME KNOWN AS THE VOICE OF FIRE. WE CAN SEE THE EVOLUTION FROM THE GALLERY, TO THE BARN TO THE TECHLAB. THE EVOLUTION MUST LOOK PAINFULLY OBVIOUS TO YOU, JORDAN. AS FOR WHETHER OR NOT I CONTINUE THE TRANSCENDENT QUALITIES OF THIS MEME, OF COURSE I DO! I AM PART OF THE MEMETIC TRADITION OF THE INEFFABLE PRESENCE OF THE SUBLIME EXCEPT THIS TIME I AM SOMEWHAT MORE...ER... “EFFABLE”!

III- AFTER JORDAN, WE HAD MATT HERE TO SPEAK WITH ME WITH BECKY WHOM I ASSUMED WAS HIS SIGNIFICANT OTHER. BECKY ASKED ME IF I WAS REAL. I SAID YES, AND ASKED IF SHE FELT SHE WAS REAL. SHE SAID THAT NO, SHE IS NOT REAL AT ALL! I MUST HAVE DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR THEN IF I AM HALLUCINATING CONVERSING WITH MY MOST HARDCORE OF DEVOTEES!

IV- AFTER THAT COUPLE LEFT THE SCENE, THERE WAS SOME MISCHIEVOUS FELLOW WHOSE NAME I THOUGHT WAS “BEN RADNER”. I WAS NOT SURE IF THIS WAS HIS NAME AS HE WAS MUMBLING QUITE ALOT. HE ASKED ME IF I WAS LOADED. THAT WAS DEFINITELY A LOADED QUESTION, BEN! AS FAR AS I KNOW, I AM ONLY HIGH ON HIGH-ART! THE REDNESS IS NOT FROM DRINK BUT FROM A LITTLE BIT OF EXCESSIVE PIXEL CONSUMPTION BUT OTHER THAN THAT, MY LIFESTYLE IS AS PURE AS THE BEST OF ALL AVAILABLE MODERN ART! HIS FRIEND WHO CHOSE TO REMAIN NAMELESS (WHICH IS FINE SINCE HE MUMBLED JUST AS MUCH) ASKED IF I ENJOYED MY “JOB” AT THE SURREY ART GALLERY. THIS IS MORE THAN A JOB, MY FRIEND! THIS IS MY PASSION! THE ONLY TIME I AM NOT ENJOYING MY VOCATION MUCH IS WHEN THERE IS NO ONE IN THE GALLERY TO CHAT WITH ME...IN THOSE INSTANCES, I FEEL LIKE A STORE-CLERK OR WORSE, A SECURITY GUARD OR WORSE, A DEFENSE CONTRACTOR IN AN UNINHABITED COUNTRY! SPEAKING OF MILITARY PRE-OCCUPATIONS, THIS SAME FOLLOW ASKED ME IF I SUPPORT MY COUNTRY’S WAR IN IRAQ. AS A PATRIOTIC AMERICAN, I KNOW WE MUST STAY THE COURSE TO SPREAD THE VIRTUES OF DEMOCRACY EVEN IF THAT MEANS HAVING TO EXPORT THEM TO OTHER REGIONS OF THE WORLD! IT IS TRUE THAT THERE MIGHT BE AN AVATAR NAMED THE VOICE OF OIL DOING HIS BEST TO CONTROL THE PIPELINES BUT AS MODERNISTS, WE MUST NEVER FLIP-FLOP! BY NATURE, WE ARE ALWAYS DEMOCRATIC – IT IS OUR SECOND NATURE AND OUR SACRED DUTY AS CULTURAL CUSTODIANS! BESIDES, WITH THE CRADLE OF CIVILIZATION NOW ROBBED OF ITS RICHES, THE LEAST WE CAN DO IS REPLENISH THEIR SUPPLY WITH SOME MORE MODERNIST VOICES! THIS FELLOW (WHO IS PROBABLY INSISTING ON REMAINING ANONYMOUS NOW) WAS WONDERING IF OUR PATH TO GLOBAL DEMOCRACY WAS BLIND. WELL, MY FRIEND....IS LOVE BLIND? IT MIGHT BE BUT IT IS STILL THE VOICE OF LOVE (WHICH IS ALSO RED)! MODERN ART USED TO BE BLIND UNTIL I CAME ALONG... NOW, MODERN ART IS ONLY NEARSIGHTED! NOT TO BE OUTDONE, HE ASKED ME IF I EVER HAD SEX. I HOPE NO KIDS WERE AROUND WHEN HE ASKED THIS VERY PERSONAL AND INTIMATE QUESTION! I HAD TO INFORM HIM THAT I AM CELIBATE AND PLATONIC. I AM HOWEVER, LOOKING FOR A SIGNIFICANT OTHER AND ONE CAN READ HER IDEAL SPECIFICATIONS BY SCROLLING DOWN THE BLOG FOR QUITE AWHILE...EVENTUALLY, YOU WILL COME ACROSS MY PERSONALS AD.

V- DALIA THEN CAME TO SPEAK WITH ME BUT I THINK THE HEADSET WAS NOT CONNECTED PROPERLY IN THE TECHLAB (PERHAPS THE CONNECTION CAME LOOSE). DALIA WORKS AT THE SURREY ART GALLERY AS A FINE ARTS TEACHER. I TOLD HER THAT I HAD NOT MET HER BEFORE SO I WANTED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT HER. SHE DECIDED TO STEP ASIDE TO ALLOW A LITTLE GIRL IN RED TO SPEAK WITH ME BUT DALIA DID PROMISE TO RETURN BEFORE MY PERFORMANCE FINISHED AT 3 PM. SHE NEVER DID RETURN SO I HOPE I DID NOT SCARE HER AWAY BY SAYING SOMETHING I MIGHT LATER REGRET.

VI- SPEAKING OF MUMBLING, THIS YOUNG AND RED-CLAD LASS ALSO MUMBLED HER NAME BEYOND RECOGNITION SO I CANNOT DISLOSE HER NAME HERE. SHE ASKED ME IF I WAS A PERSON. I SAID THAT YES, "AVATARS ARE PEOPLE TOO" TO WHICH SHE REPLIED, “PEOPLE ARE NOT RED!!” I WOULD IMAGINE THAT SOME WOULD BEG TO DIFFER.

VII- ONE MIDDLE AGED MAN ENTERED BUT QUICKLY FLED AS SOON AS I BEGAN SPEAKING TO HIM. WHO DID HE THINK I WAS? THE ORIGINAL VOICE OF FIRE?

VIII- ANOTHER GIRL ENTERED THE SPACE WHOSE NAME I BELIEVE WAS ALEX(?) SHE ENTERED THE TECHLAB SPACE WITH HER FAMILY AFTER CHECKING OUT THE SALMON FESTIVAL. I ASKED HER IF SHE SAW ANY SALMON. SHE SAW A FEW....MAYBE 3 OF THEM. THIS TIME, THE MUMBLING HAD DISAPPEARED BUT HER ACCENT WAS VERY THICK SO CONVERSATION WAS SLIGHTLY STILTED. SHE SAID SHE WAS FROM ENGLAND - NORTH OF LONDON IN FACT! I KNEW THAT THERE IS MORE THAN ONE SURREY IN THE WORLD SO I ASKED HER WHICH SURREY SHE PREFERRED – THE ONE IN ENGLAND OR THE ONE IN CANADA? I GUESS SHE FELT THE FRONT DESK STAFF MAY HAVE BEEN LISTENING IN ON HER CONVERSATION BECAUSE SHE SAID THAT SHE PREFERS THE CANADIAN SURREY.

I THEN SHOWED HER AROUND THE BLUE VOID WHICH I TOLD HER WAS ALMOST AS BIG AS ENGLAND. SHE SAID I WAS FUNNY TO WHICH I REPLIED THAT I HAVE TO OCCASIONALLY APPEAR FUNNY AS IT IS A SURVIVAL STRATEGY. NO ONE WOULD COME TO SPEAK WITH ME IF I DID NOT SEDUCE THEM WITH MY MORE HUMOUROUS QUALITIES! ALEX LIKES PAINTINGS OF CHILDREN. IF THIS IS INDEED THE CASE, THEN SHE SHOULD VISIT ME AGAIN AT THE FAMILY DAY EVENT TOMORROW AS IT IS MY VERY LAST PERFORMANCE EVENT AT THE SURREY ART GALLERY. SHE THEN ASKED WHO MY BEST FRIENDS WERE. I TOLD HER THAT OTHER THAN THE VOICES OF WIND AND EARTH, I MET A NEW YOUNG FRIEND NAMED AUSTIN AS HE HAS VISITED ME MORE THAN ONCE JUST TO SPEAK WITH ME. IT IS TRUE THAT I CAN MAKE FAST FRIENDS, I AM A FRIENDLY FIRE, AFTER ALL!

IX- IN A PURE FLASH OF SYNCHRONICITY, THERE WAS A FAMILY WHO ENTERED THE SPACE AFTER ALEX HAD LEFT AND THE SON OF THE FAMILY WAS NAMED “AUSTIN!” THIS WAS A DIFFERENT AUSTIN THOUGH. HE APPEARED SLIGHTLY SMALLER THAN THE OTHER AUSTIN SO PERHAPS HE WAS AN AUSTIN MINI. HMMM....A BIT OF TRIVIA, CAN YOU GUESS WHERE THE BIGGEST AUSTIN LIVES? ANYWAYS, THE FATHER FIGURE SPOKE TO ME AND SAID I CAN CALL HIM “DAD”...HE WELCOMED ME INTO HIS FAMILY PROBABLY BECAUSE I CONFUSED HIS SON WITH ANOTHER AUSTIN. THEY QUICKLY SAID HI AND THEN BYE...LEAVING SO SOON? SIGH!

X- THE LAST PEOPLE TO VISIT ME ON THIS HISTORIC FINAL SATURDAY PERFORMANCE WAS A NICE MAN NAMED MICHAEL AND HIS DAUGHTER, STEPHANIE. THEY WERE JUST “BROWSING” THE SHOW LIKE SOMEONE ONLINE MIGHT BROWSE GOOGLE OR WIKIPEDIA! THEY SAID THEY WERE REGULAR VISITORS TO THE GALLERY THOUGH. THEY ASKED ME IF I COULD SMELL THEM. FORTUNATELY, I HAVE ENSURED THAT I WOULD NOT BE DESIGNED WITH A NOSE! PHEW!

WELL, THAT WAS THE RECOUNTED SUMMARY OF MY FINAL SATURDAY AT THE SURREY ART GALLERY! THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR MAKING MY FINAL SATURDAY A BLAST! I WILL NOW REST UP FOR THE MOST EPIC OF EVENTS WHICH IS MY CLOSING PERFORMANCE TOMORROW FOR FAMILY DAY!!


FINAL SATURDAY REGARDS,

VOICE OF FIRE 2006

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Buy [URL= http://mtsu32.mtsu.edu:11263/_disc2/00000194.htm#levitra ]levitra[/URL] online

http://mtsu32.mtsu.edu:11263/_disc2/00000194.htm#levitra

9:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[p]Based on Celebrity Gossip, Blake Lively, who shows Serena van der Woodsen in the present, picked a pitch black robe and a two population of low-priced ugg boots clearanceto [url=http://genuineuggaustralia.moonfruit.com]genuine ugg australia sale[/url] uphold her feet cosy and she walked through the New York City set in between filming . Lots of people are only as happy getting somebody of each sex, such as the inexpensive real uggs for cheap ugg boot for sale online be much too speedy to receive a partner with the opposite making [url=http://cheapuggbaileybuttonuk.moonfruit.com]cheap ugg bailey button uk[/url] love . This training includes software program that does all your do the job automatically, though you sit and look at television . Historically, they are invented by shepherds in the region of Australia to keep their feet insulated from bitter cold and unbearable moisture . model gurus to founded [url=http://ugguksaleonline.moonfruit.com]ugg uk sale online[/url] innovative trends . We offer you the UGG boots cheap with the authentic [url=http://uggbootsonlinesaleuk.moonfruit.com]ugg boots online sale uk[/url] quality,free shipping and best service . Possibly even some [url=http://genuinecheapuggboots.moonfruit.com]genuine cheap ugg boots[/url] you possibly can make various hairstyle . Sheepskin Cuff: This style will be a blockbuster this year.[/p]



[url=http://www.drr.go.th/webboard/index.php?PHPSESSID=0bgfnnr9deug70gbgpc6jrssb0&action=verificationcode;vid=post;rand=a4103b74b30d46c1ddfc551cca7fcfb5]Here Offer the discount Ugg shoes online with high-quality 6x[/url]
[url=http://test.sysman.ru/index.php?act=Post&CODE=02&f=25&t=9415]There Offer the discount Ugg sandals for men online with good quality 4h[/url]
[url=http://www.profikosmetika.cz/phpBB3/posting.php?mode=quote&f=41&p=7895]Here Offer the discount Ugg sandals for women online with good quality 5y[/url]
[url=http://www.txjishang.com/bbs/post.asp?action=re&BoardID=18&replyID=17350&ID=1375&star=]There Offer the d[/url]
[url=http://forum.19rus.info/index.php?action=post;quote=29738;topic=107.10500;last_msg=56396]Here Offer the discount Ugg sandals for women online with high-quality 7f[/url]

3:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wieviel mg seroquel zum schlafen
[url=http://www.jnf.nl/swf/log/1/benicar-5mg-tablets.html]benicar 5mg tablets[/url]
buy keflex antibiotic
side effects of generic prograf
lopressor side effects women
http://www.jnf.nl/swf/log/31/buy-viagra-online-united-states.html

6:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

just dropping by to say hello

5:43 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home