Friday, November 03, 2006

SURREY ART GALLERY - FINAL SCHOOL TOUR






GREETINGS BLOGGERS!

HERE ARE ALL THE JUICY DETAILS FROM MY FINAL SCHOOL AT THE SURREY ART GALLERY. THIS LAST TOUR WAS A BONUS ONE ARRANGED AT THE LAST MINUTE BY THE GALLERY. I SHOULD ADD A MENTION HERE THAT THE DOCENT COULD NOT FIND ANY NAME-TAGS ON THESE STUDENTS SO THEY WERE ALL ANONYMOUS TO ME. I AM SORRY KIDS! I WANTED TO GIVE YOU EXTRA SPECIAL CREDIT SINCE YOU ARE PART OF THE VERY LAST SCHOOL TOUR! I DID NOT INTEND TO RENDER YOU CREDITLESS! I WANTED YOU TO ALL BE PART OF THIS MOMENTOUS EVENT THAT WILL SHAPE HISTORY FOREVER! I WANTED YOU TO CHERISH THIS MOST SACRED OF MOMENTS! WELL, HERE IS WHAT I HAD TO REFLECT ON WITH REGARDS TO THIS MOST SPECIAL EVENT WITH CREEKSIDE ELEMENTARY:

I- ONE GAL ASKED ABOUT MY GENDER..BOY OR GIRL? AS I HAVE MENTIONED IN A PREVIOUS POSTING...I AM A MAN AND HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A MAN AND WILL ALWAYS BE A MAN!

II- ANOTHER GAL WITH A GORGEOUS RED SWEATSHIRT ASKED ABOUT MY FAMILY. I MENTIONED THAT OTHER THAN MY ANCESTOR, I HAVE THE VOICE OF EARTH AND THE VOICE OF WIND AS KNOWN RELATIVES.

III- THE CLASS IN GENERAL ASKED HOW I WAS CONSTRUCTED. I TOLD THEM THAT I WAS RENDERED USING COMPUTER SOFTWARE THAT IS AT LEAST ONE DECADE OLD.

IV- ONCE AGAIN, AN ANONYMOUS GAL ASKED WHETHER OR NOT I WAS SINGLE! WHAT GRADE IS THIS AGAIN? FOR THE PUBLIC RECORD, I AM SINGLE BUT AM LOOKING FOR ONLY ONE SPECIFIC SIGNIFICANT OTHER AND SHE IS NOT HUMANOID.

V- MANY STUDENTS ASKED ME ABOUT WHEN I TAKE NAPS AND HOW OFTEN I HAVE THEM. I SURE COULD HAVE USED A NAP AT THAT MOMENT BECAUSE NORMALLY I WOULD BE NAPPING AT 11:00 AM BUT I HAD TO DO THIS FINAL SCHOOL TOUR. I NAP EVERY CHANCE I CAN GET. MODERN ART CAN GET QUITE EXHAUSTED, YOU KNOW! I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO THE END OF MY TENURE AT THE SURREY ART GALLERY ON SUNDAY BECAUSE THEN I CAN UNDERTAKE A VERY REFRESHING WINTER HIBERNATION PERIOD UNTIL I GET MY NEXT PERFORMANCE REQUEST IN A GALLERY, MUSEUM OR PARTY SOMETHERE.

VI- SOMEONE (UNSURE OF GENDER BECAUSE THE DOCENT FIELDED THE QUESTION) WITH A RED SHIRT ASKED ABOUT MY FAVORITE MUSIC. I TOLD HIM/HER THAT I PREFER SONGS WITH THE WORD “FIRE” REFERENCED. YOU CAN SCROLL DOWN THIS BLOG TO SOME ARCHIVED POSTINGS IN ORDER TO LOCATE SOME EXAMPLES OF SONGS WITH THE WORD “FIRE” PRESENT....

VII- ONE GAL ASKED ME HOW I GREW UP SO QUICKLY AND GAINED A DEEP VOICE EVEN THOUGH I AM MERELY A YEAR OLD...I HAD TO EXPLAIN THAT I WAS NOT HUMANOID. IT IS BECAUSE I AM AN AVATAR THAT I WAS DESIGNED WITH THIS DEEP VOICE. I WAS DESIGNED TO BE BOTH ADULT AND MALE. I DO NOT EVEN HAVE TO GO THROUGH ANY GROWING PAINS AS I AM GENETICALLY AND MEMETICALLY ENCODED TO EMBODY THE MATURE ART PARADIGM OF MODERNISM RIGHT FROM DAY ONE!. I HOPE I AM NOT SOUNDING TOO ARROGANT!

VIII- THEN THERE WAS THE QUESTION OF WHAT I PREFER TO EAT. I HAD ALREADY SHOWN THIS MORNING’S SCHOOL TOUR HOW I EAT PIXELS. SINCE I HAD ALREADY EATEN AND WAS NOW FULL, I HAD NO FURTHER DESIRE TO REPEAT THIS DEMONSTRATION.


IX- UPON REQUEST, I DANCED TO A SELF-INFLICTED DRUMBEAT. I CREATED THE DRUMBEAT MYSELF. I WAS QUITE PLEASED WITH MY IMPROVISED PERCUSSIVE RHYTHM AND TIMBRE.

XI- I THEN HAD TO CLARIFY FOR THE CLASS THAT I CANNOT PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS – THE VOICE IS MY INSTRUMENT.

XII- SOME STUDENTS OF THE CLASS WANTED ME TO CHANGE COLOR FOR THEM. I AM RED FOR A REASON, KIDS! NO NEED TO CHANGE COLORS! IF THEY WANT TO SEE OTHER COLORS, THEY WILL HAVE TO ARRANGE APPOINTMENTS WITH THE VOICES OF EARTH AND WIND.

XIII- I ALSO HAD TO EXPLAIN THAT I AM MORE OF AN ARTWORK THAN AN ARTIST AND THEREFORE, I CANNOT DRAW.

XIV – I THEN HAD THE GENERAL QUESTION FROM THE CLASS ABOUT WHY IS IT THAT I DO NOT HAVE ANY TEETH. I DO NOT NEED TEETH BECAUSE THE PIXELS THAT I EAT ARE SOFT AND VIRTUAL AND TEETH WOULD JUST GET IN THE WAY. NOT ONLY THAT BUT TEETH ARE NOT VERY AESTHETICALLY PLEASING IN A MODERN WORLD. THIS IS ALSO THE REASON I MADE SURE NOT TO HAVE A NOSE!

XV- THE LAST QUESTION POSED TO ME HAD TO DO WITH HOW I WAS ABLE TO HEAR THEM IF I HAD NO EARS? GOOD QUESTION! I TOLD THEM THAT THE HEADSET IN THE TECHLAB EXISTS SO PEOPLE (SUCH AS THE DOCENT) CAN SPEAK WORDS DIRECTLY INTO MY BRAIN. THAT AND OTHER FORMS OF CYBERTELEPATHY ARE THE ONLY WAYS I CAN COMMUNICATE WITH YOU!

THANK YOU CREEKSIDE ELEMENTARY! I HAD ALOT OF FUN TODAY AND THANK YOU FOR BEING MY LAST SCHOOL TOUR! I THINK CREEKSIDE MAY HAVE APPEARED BEFORE IN MY ITINERARY BUT I AM NOT SO SURE NOW. I REALLY NEED TO HAVE A NAP!

I HAVE ONE LAST SATURDAY PERFORMANCE TOMORROW AND THEN MY CLOSING PERFORMANCE FOR SURREY WILL BE ON SUNDAY – FAMILY DAY. NOON-2 PM PACIFIC TIME....I HOPE TO SEE YOU ALL THERE!


SCHOLARLY REGARDS,

VOICE OF FIRE 2006

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