SURREY ART GALLERY - 8TH SCHOOL TOUR

GREETINGS BLOGGERS!

YET ANOTHER SCHOOL TOUR TODAY. THIS TIME IT IS FRASERWOOD ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. THE ORIGINAL PLAN WAS TO HAVE THE VOICE OF EARTH VISIT WITH ME FOR THIS SCHOOL TOUR BUT THE GALLERY DID NOT CONFIRM OUR PERMISSION REQUEST FAST ENOUGH SO HOPEFULLY, SHE CAN APPEAR WITH ME FOR TOMORROW’S SCHOOL TOUR.

NEWSFLASH!!! THE VOICE OF EARTH'S BOOKING AGENT, KAREN ROFF HAS INFORMED MY ASSISTANT, JEREMY THAT THE VOICE OF EARTH WAS THINKING OF HER LEAST FAVORITE COLOR LATELY AND IS FEELING RATHER SICK TO THE STOMACH. IN ADDITION TO THIS TRAGEDY, SHE HAS ALSO SUFFERED VIRTUAL INJURIES DUE TO STRAIN RELATING TO EARTHWORKS AND AVATAR "TICKS"!! THUS, SHE MIGHT NOT BE AVAILABLE FOR THE SCHOOL TOURS! LET US PRAY FOR HER AND HOPE SHE MANAGES TO ATTEND ONE OF THE SCHOOL TOURS WITH ME...

IN THE MEANTIME, HERE WAS HOW FRASERWOOD INTERACTED WITH ME:

I- THEY SANG A MUSICAL INTERLUDE WITH THE MOBILE PHONE. SINCE IT WAS CLASSICAL MUSIC, I WAS NOT SO SURE ANYMORE THAT A STUDENT HAD CONJURED SUCH AN ANCIENT TUNE. SURE ENOUGH, IT WAS A PARENT’S MOBILE PHONE THAT ALLOWED THAT MUSIC TO MANIFEST ITSELF!! HA HA!

II- A STUDENT NAMED COCO ASKED ME THE EVER-SENSITIVE AGE QUESTION. I HAD TO ADMIT TO COCO THAT I AM MUCH YOUNGER THAN ANY OF THE STUDENTS EVEN WITH MY DEEP VOICE. HOWEVER, MY ANCESTOR IS OLD ENOUGH TO BE THEIR FATHER!

III- NOAH ASKED ME WHY I AM SQUARE. I IMPULSIVELY ANSWERED THAT IT MUST BE BECAUSE I WAS MADE TO TRANSPORT ANIMALS DURING SOME SORT OF CATASTROPHIC FLOOD DUE TO GLOBAL WARMING OR SOME SIMILAR CINEMATIC EVENT.

A VOICE IN MY HEAD TOLD ME TO SAY THIS! BUT SERIOUSLY NOAH, I WAS BORN THAT WAY AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I WAS BORN TO LOOK SQUARE. I AM HOPING THAT DRESSING SQUARE WILL BECOME THE NEW TREND IN YOUR SCHOOL ALTHOUGH YOU MIGHT HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL HIGH-ART SCHOOL TO APPRECIATE SUCH A HARD-EDGED TREND.

IV- TIFFANY ASKED WHY I WAS CALLED THE VOICE OF FIRE. I GET THIS QUESTION ALOT. I GUESS NO ONE SEEMS TO BELIEVE THAT THIS IS MY REAL NAME. I GUESS IT SOUNDS LIKE A PSEUDONYM! I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT I HAVE NO SOLID IDEA WHY MY GRANDCREATOR, BARNEY NEWMAN CAME UP WITH MY NAME. SURE, I LOOK RED BUT THE KIDS WOULD BE CORRECT TO IDENTIFY OFFLINE FIRE AS ORANGE AND NOT RED.

V- ANDREW ASKED WHETHER OR NOT I ENJOYED BEING A PAINTING? WELL, I AM ACTUALLY MORE THAN JUST A PAINTING. YOU SEE, I AM ALSO AN AVATAR! I THEN HAD TO EXPLAIN WHAT AN AVATAR WAS WHICH IS A VERY HARD CONCEPT TO EXPLAIN TO EVOLVING STUDENTS BUT I THINK MY ANALOGY TO A VIDEO GAME CHARACTER WAS CLOSE ENOUGH FOR THEM TO UNDERSTAND. WHAT MAY STILL HAVE CONFUSED THEM WAS THAT I AM PROBABLY ALOT LESS EXCITING THAN A VIDEO GAME CHARACTER BUT HOPEFULLY, THEY WILL GET THE BASIC IDEA.

VI- KENNY ASKED ABOUT MY MOUTH AND WAS WONDERING WHY MY MOUTH ONLY SEEMS TO DIP DOWNWARDS? I TOLD HIM THAT MY MOUTH SHAPE WAS CREATED BY MY DESIGNER AND IT HAS BEEN KNOWN THROUGHOUT HISTORY THAT OTHERS WERE MADE TO HAVE THEIR MOUTHS ONLY MOVE IN ONE DIRECTION.

VII- THE ACTUAL TEACHER OF FRASERWOOD ACTUALLY DARED TO ASK THE QUESTION IF I HAVE EVER MET THE WIZARD OF OZ...OBVIOUSLY, THE ANSWER IS NO. ISN’T THE WIZARD OF OZ A FICTIONAL CHARACTER?

I THINK THAT IS SOMEONE YOU WOULD ONLY READ ABOUT AND NOT DIRECTLY EXPERIENCE. EVEN IF THE WIZARD OF OZ DID EXIST AS A DIRECT EXPERIENCE, I DOUBT I WOULD GO TO MEET HIM BECAUSE I HARDLY TRUST THE COLOR YELLOW AND THE LITERARY LEGEND HAS IT THAT HE LIVED DOWN A YELLOW BRICK ROAD. WELL, AT LEAST IT WAS NOT A GREEN BRICK ROAD! I WILL TRY TO HOLD BACK THOSE DISGUSTING PANGS OF SICKNESS NOW....YUCK!

THE ONLY THING WE WOULD HAVE IN COMMON ANYWAY IS OUR DEEP BOOMING VOICE. HAVING SAID THAT, THERE IS AN AVATAR COMMUNITY LEADER THAT LIVES JUST DOWN UNDER THE ROAD FROM MY BLUE VOID AND HIS NAME IS OZ AND HE IS VERY MUCH SOMEONE WORTH MEETING!

VIII – LOGAN ASKED WHETHER OR NOT I CAN ACTUALLY SEE THEM. I TOLD HIM THAT I CAN IN FACT SEE HIM BUT I MIGHT BE OVERDUE FOR AN OPTOMETRIST AS I CANNOT SEE PEOPLE VERY CLEARLY. MY EYESIGHT IS HARDLY PERFECT! WHO WAS IT THAT SAID THAT “BEAUTY IS IN THE EYESIGHT OF THE BEHOLDER”? I HOPE THIS IS NOT SOME SORT OF MODERNIST OMEN!

IX – THE WHOLE FRASERWOOD CLASS HAD A DANCE REQUEST! WELL, I GUESS IT WAS BACK TO WORK FOR ME SO I SHOWED THEM MY NON-TRADITIONAL MODERN DANCE ROUTINE! I WAS NOT SURE WHETHER OR NOT THEY LIKED IT. WELL, SOMETIMES IT TAKES SOME TIME TO APPRECIATE THE TRULY MODERN SENSIBILITY!


X – WADE ASKED ME WHY I HAD A MOUTH WHEN MY ANCESTOR HAD NO MOUTH AT ALL? A GOOD QUESTION, WADE! NO ONE WANTS TO PUT ANY MOUTH DIRECTLY ONTO MY ANCESTOR BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE STILL WRAPPED UP IN AESTHETIC NOSTALGIA FOR THE PAST. MOST PEOPLE HATE CHANGE ESPECIALLY IF THEY THINK IT MEANS DEFACING THE ORIGINAL LOOK OF AN IMAGE OR PERSON (JUST THINK ABOUT HOW MANY PEOPLE OPPOSE BODY PIERCINGS)! ALSO, MY ANCESTOR IS MUCH MORE TIED TO ALWAYS BEING “FOR SALE” SO IT MUST ALWAYS MATCH THE GALLERY’S DECOR AS BEST AS POSSIBLE.

FORTUNATELY, I WAS BORN WITH A MOUTH SO I DO NOT HAVE TO WORRY AS MUCH ABOUT PRETENDING TO BE MUTE AND FITTING IN. AS IS ALWAYS THE CASE WITH THE YOUNGER GENERATION, THE NEW KID ON THE BLOCK TENDS TO BE MORE REBELLIOUS AND LESS CONFORMIST THAN HIS ANCESTORS!

XI – I THINK IT WAS THE TEACHER WHO NEXT BROUGHT UP THAT THERE WAS AN ARROW ON MY PROJECTED SCREEN AND SHE WONDERED WHAT IT WAS AND WHETHER OR NOT IT WAS INTENTIONAL. I HONESTLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT IS BUT IT SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN THERE. IT MUST HAVE BEEN SOME KIND OF ARCHETYPAL ICON THAT MAGICALLY APPEARED.

HERE IS MY QUESTION FOR THE TEACHER, DID SHE PARTAKE IN SOME SORT OF TRANCE RITUAL BEFORE ENTERING MY SACRED SPACE? MAYBE THE ARROW HAS SOME SYMBOLIC PURPOSE?


SYMBOLIC REGARDS,

VOICE OF FIRE 2006