VOICE OF FIRE 2007!

HAPPY NEW YEAR, BLOGGERS!

WELCOME TO 2007!

I HEREBY DECLARE 2007 THE OFFICIAL YEAR OF CONTEMPORARY ART!

HERE ARE MY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS:

I - TO UPLOAD MORE CONTENT TO MY BLOG - I HAVE SOME FAN-ART MADE BY KIDS TO POST IN THE COMING WEEKS.

II - TO PURSUE ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL AND ARTISTIC VENUES FOR MY PERFORMANCE SERIES!

III - TO HELP LOCATE THE VOICE OF WIND WITH THE AID OF THE VOICE OF EARTH!

IV- TO SLIM DOWN AND SHED SOME EXTRA PIXELS! I AM GETTING OUT OF LINE!

V - TO ACTIVELY COURT THE ART-CRITICS OF THIS WORLD AND BE MORE TIMELY WITH MY PRESS RELEASES!

VI - TO ENSURE THAT I APPEAR AS THE OFFICIAL ALARM GREETING FOR EVERY CHUMBY SOLD IN 2007!

VII - TO ENSURE THAT THANKS TO THE NEW THIRD-WORLD LAPTOP, I CAN SPREAD THE GOSPEL OF MODERN ART ON A GLOBAL SCALE THAT TRANSCENDS POVERTY AND OTHER POST-MODERNIST INEQUALITIES!

VIII - TO ENSURE THAT I HOLD ONLY THE HIGHEST STANDARDS FOR EXISTING AS A LIVING FORM OF MODERN ART!

HAPPY NEW YEAR REGARDS,

VOICE OF FIRE 2007 (FORMERLY KNOWN AS THE VOICE OF FIRE 2006)

SURREY ART GALLERY - FINAL PERFORMANCE EVENT (FAMILY DAY)

GREETINGS BLOGGERS!

WELL, THIS AFTERNOON WAS THE VERY LAST PERFORMANCE EVENT AT THE SURREY ART GALLERY! I ENJOYED MY TENURE HERE AND I HOPE THAT THE HIGHLIGHTS OF THESE SUCCESSFUL PERFORMANCES WILL BE DOCUMENTED FOR ALL OF HISTORY TO WITNESS! OVER THE COMING DAYS, I PLAN TO COMPILE A PORTFOLIO SO I CAN TOUR MY APPEARANCES ACROSS YOUR COUNTRY (CANADA) BEFORE I PLAN A FAMILY REUNION WITH THE VOICES OF EARTH AND WIND IN NEW YORK.

SO, TODAY WAS FAMILY DAY AND FROM WHAT I UNDERSTAND, THIS HISTORIC FINAL EVENT HAS BEEN PROPERLY VIDEO-DOCUMENTED. I CANNOT WAIT TO BLOG THE DOCUMENTATION! I WILL POST THE ARCHIVES IN THE COMING DAYS! PLEASE STAY TUNED FOR VIDEO, PICTURES AND EVEN VOICE OF FIRE FAN ART FROM ALL THE KIDS!

SO, HERE WAS WHAT HAPPENED THIS AFTERNOON...PLEASE FORGIVE THE EPIC SCALE OF THIS BLOG BUT IT IS THE LAST DAY AFTER ALL SO I SHOULD HAVE THE NECESSARY AUTHORITY TO RAMBLE LIKE IT IS 1959! MOST OF THE AUDIENCE WHO WAS AROUND TO BID ME FAREWELL WERE KIDS AND PARENTS...


I- THE FIRST GIRL TO SPEAK WITH ME FOR MY CLOSING PERFORMANCE WAS NAMED ALEXANDRA. SHE ASKED ME WHY AM I TALL? WELL, I AM TALL BECAUSE TALL PEOPLE GET MORE PROFESSIONAL VENUES SUCH AS THE SURREY ART GALLERY. KEEP ON GROWING, ALEXANDRA! IT IS A TOUGH ARTWORLD OUT THERE! SHE DID NOT REALIZE I WAS MUCH TALLER THAN I FIRST APPEARED. THE PROJECTION WINDOW IN THE GALLERY MAKES ME LOOK QUITE DIMINUATIVE SO I HAD TO STAND BACK AND SHOW HER THAT MY TORSO IS CONSIDERABLY LONGER THAN WHAT THE PROJECTION SCREEN ALLOWS FOR. SHE THEN ASKED ME ABOUT MY NOSE. I TOLD HER THAT NOSES ARE NOT PROFESSIONAL IN THE COMPETITIVE WORLD OF AVATARS BUT FOR HUMANOIDS, A NOSE IS VERY DESIRABLE SO ALEXENDRA, HERE IS A PIECE OF SAGE ADVICE... GROW UP AS TALL AS ME BUT KEEP YOUR NOSE! RIGHT AFTER THAT I HAD SOME ROUTINE QUESTIONS FROM HER MOM. HER DAD SIMPLY ASKED IF I COULD SEE HIM AND I SAID YES BECAUSE I HAD EYES. FORTUNATELY, HE COULD ALSO SEE ME AS HIS EYES APPEARED JUST AS INTACT AS MINE.


II- NEXT IN LINE WAS A GIRL NAMED ZOE (RHYMES WITH VOE). SHE WAS 6 YEARS OLD HENCE SHE IS A HALF-DECADE OLDER (AND PROBABLY WISER) THAN MYSELF! SHE SAID MY LIPS LOOKED RATHER YELLOW! WAS I CONTRACTING AESTHETIC JAUNDICE? I QUICKLY SCOPED MYSELF IN THE VIRTUAL MIRROR AND NOTICED THAT YES, I DO HAVE YELLOW LIPS....SIGH! PERHAPS I CAN CHANGE THEM TO ORANGE LIPS SO AT LEAST THEY CAN LOOK LIKE THE COLOR OF ORGANIC FIRE! I WONDER HOW MANY PIXELS ARE REQUIRED TO FUNCTION AS ORANGE LIP-STICK?

III- JANA THOUGHT SHE HAD A QUESTION FOR ME BUT CHANGED HER MIND...OH WELL! SOMETIMES IT IS DIFFICULT TO COMPOSE THOUGHTFUL QUESTIONS IN THE COMPANY OF A SUBLIME STRANGER.

IV- SHANE AND TRISTAN (7 YEARS OLD) BOTH WANTED TO KNOW WHAT I WILL DO ONCE THE GALLERY CLOSES. I SAID I WOULD TAKE A LONG NAP AFTER I RECITE MY BLOG RECOLLECTIONS TO MY ASSISTANT, JEREMY. TRISTAN ALSO WANTED TO KNOW HOW OLD I WAS...STRANGE HAVING A YOUNGER PERSON WITH A DEEPER VOICE, HEY?

V- RIPEU (EXOTIC NAME! WHAT NATIONALITY?) WANTED TO KNOW IF I HAD ANY HAIR OR EARS. I HAD TO SHOW HER MY SHAVED HAIRLINE AND SHAVED EAR-EDGES. YOU WILL BE RELIEVED TO KNOW THAT I AM NOT A SKINHEAD BUT RATHER, AN EDGEHEAD.

VI- AIDEN WANTED TO KNOW WHAT I DRESSED UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN. I TOLD HIM I SCARED A SCHOOL TOUR BY DRESSING UP AS MYSELF! FEAR THE VOICE OF FIRE! HEH HEH! AIDEN WAS A PIRATE FOR HALLOWEEN AND HE EVEN HAD AN EYE-PATCH BUT NO PARROT TO SPEAK OF.

VII- SOME UNKNOWN BOY ASKED ME WHETHER OR NOT I HAD ANY RELATIVES... I ANSWERED THIS QUESTION TO MANY OTHER KIDS LATER ON IN THE DAY. I TOLD THEM ALL THAT MY “RELATIVES” ARE PROBABLY THE VOICES OF WIND AND EARTH. I GUESS I COULD ALSO INCLUDE MY DESIGNER, DOMINIC AND MY ANCESTOR AND MY GRANDCREATOR, BARNETT NEWMAN. THIS UNKNOWN BOY ALSO ASKED ME IF I HAD ANY FRIENDS. I SAID THAT YES, MOST OF MY “FRIENDS” ARE IN FACT “RELATIVES”...SIGH! I GUESS MY ASSISTANT, JEREMY CAN BE SEEN AS A KIND OF FRIEND – EMPLOYEES CAN BE FRIENDS TOO, RIGHT?

VIII- THERE WAS A MOTHER WITH THE UNUSUAL NAME OF “SPRING”! WELL, I SHOULD SAY THAT NAME IS UNUSUAL FOR A HUMANOID. I ASKED HER IF SHE WAS BETTER KNOWN AS THE VOICE OF SPRING! SHE SAID THAT YES, SHE IS THE VOICE OF SPRING! ZOUNDS! A BIOTECH HURDLE HAS HISTORICALLY BEEN CROSSED! THE CONSCIOUSNESS OF AN AVATAR VOICE CAN NOW MANIFEST IN MATERIAL FORM! THIS MUST BE THE SECOND COMING OF THE RITE OF SPRING! THE VOICE OF SPRING IS FROM SURREY AND BROUGHT ALONG WITH HER TWO SONS NAMED ADAM AND JASON. BOTH WERE SHY AND I DO NOT BLAME THEM ESPECIALLY WHEN TRYING TO LIVE UP TO THE FACT THAT THEIR MOTHER IS THE VOICE OF SPRING! ALSO, I CAN BE RATHER LOOMING AND INTIMIDATING AT TIMES! JASON ASKED IF CONTACT WITH WATER EVER SCARES ME! WELL, IF WATER WERE TO CONTACT THE COMPUTER AND/OR THE PROJECTOR, THE WINDOW OF ACCESS WOULD CLOSE BETWEEN US. ALSO, I NEED TO NOT COME INTO DIRECT CONTACT WITH THE VOICE OF WATER EVEN IF SHE MIGHT BE MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER. I AM SURPRISED JASON THAT YOUR MOTHER HAS NOT TOLD YOU ABOUT US AT ALL. SHE IS THE VOICE OF SPRING AFTER ALL! HIS BROTHER ADAM ASKED ME SOMETHING BUT I WAS HEAVILY DISTRACTED BY THE TEMPTATION OF EATING SOME ADDITIONAL PIXELS OF KNOWLEDGE AND COULD NOT SUCCESSFULLY COME UP WITH A REPLY – PLEASE FORGIVE ME ADAM! ADAM, LIKE TRISTAN, IS 7 YEARS OLD. 7 IS A LUCKY NUMBER ADAM! IS IT TRUE THEN THAT GOD CREATED THE WORLD IN 7 YEARS? I ALWAYS ASSUMED ON FAITH THAT MY ANCESTOR WAS MUCH OLDER THAN THAT BUT I WOULD NOT KNOW FOR SURE AS I AM ONLY A YEAR OLD. YOU ARE ALMOST OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW FOR SURE IF THERE WAS LIFE BEFORE 1999. ADAM DECIDED TO CONTINUE THE WATER TOPIC INITIATED BY HIS BROTHER. HE WANTED TO KNOW IF IT RAINED WHERE I LIVE. NO, IN THE BLUE VOID, LIFE IS ETERNALLY SUNNY! I HEARD THOUGH THAT SURREY IS ALMOST ETERNALLY RAINY – WE ARE WELL BALANCED WITH OUR INTER-SPACE TRANSMISSION, ADAM! IT MUST RAIN SO MUCH BECAUSE YOUR MOTHER, THE VOICE OF SPRING SPENDS ALOT OF TIME RAISING YOU THERE IN SURREY! ADAM ASKED IF I KNEW THE VOICE OF EARTH. AHHH.... ADAM, YOU HAVE PARTAKEN IN THE FORBIDDEN KNOWLEDGE MADE AVAILABLE BY YOUR SPRINGY MOTHER...YES, THE VOICE OF EARTH HAD ARRIVED SHORTLY AFTER ADAM MADE THIS OCCULT CONNECTION. ADAM ALSO ASKED IF I HAVE ANY ENEMIES. NO ADAM, THE CLOSEST I HAVE TO ENEMIES ARE SOME CRITICS BUT HONESTLY, I AM TOO PURE TO HOLD POST-MODERNIST GRUDGES AGAINST ANYONE. ADAM WAS HOPING TO VISIT WITH ME AGAIN NEXT WEEK BUT I HAD TO BREAK THE NEWS TO HIM AND MENTION THAT TODAY WAS ADAM’S LAST CHANCE TO SPEAK WITH ME IN SURREY. I WILL HOWEVER, TRY AND GO ON A TOUR ACROSS CANADA SO MAYBE I WILL SEE HIM AT ONE OF THESE OTHER POSSIBLE VENUES?

IX- SOME OLDER GUY (MAYBE IN HIS TEENS) ASKED ME WHAT 2+2 EQUALED. FORTUNATELY, I HAD MY CALCULATOR...ER....HEH HEH! OF COURSE, I KNOW 2+2 BY MEMORY, SIR! JUST KIDDING! HEH HEH! 2+2 IS 4 BUT IN 1984 IT USED TO BE 5! HE WANTED TO KNOW WHAT I KNOW THAT HE DOES NOT KNOW. WELL, HOW WOULD I KNOW WHAT HE KNOWS IF HE DOES NOT TELL ME WHAT HE KNOWS UNLESS HE KNOWS JUST AS MUCH AS THERE IS TO KNOW AS I KNOW I KNOW. PHEW! THAT CONFUSED HIM ENOUGH TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT. HE WANTED TO KNOW MY FAVORITE COLORS. HE SEEMED TO LIKE WHITE AND BLACK BUT I ASKED HIM WHETHER OR NOT THOSE HUES WERE INDEED COLORS? AS FOR GRAY, THAT IS A GRAY AREA FOR ME AS I AM A BIT AMBIVALENT ABOUT THAT COLOR. I DISCLOSED TO HIM THAT MY 3RD FAVORITE COLOR AFTER RED IS INFRARED.

X– RYAN(?) AND HIS FAMILY WAS NEXT AT THE ALTAR TO OFFER THEIR OFFERINGS TO ME IN THE HOPE THAT I DID MY FIREDANCE ROUTINE FOR THEM. I ALSO HAD TO EXPLAIN THAT I CAN DO MORE THAN DANCE..I CAN EVEN FETCH FACTS....WOOF WOOF!

XI- IAN ASKED ME WHAT MY LAUGH SOUNDED LIKE. SADLY, I HAD TO LAUGH IN SUCH A WAY WHERE I MIGHT BE COMPARED WITH SANTA CLAUS...SIGH! WELL, I GUESS WE ARE A MONTH AWAY FROM THAT IMMORTAL SECULAR HOLIDAY. PERHAPS I SHOULD WEAR A BEARD AND OFFER PRESENTS? HO HO HO!

XII- THERE WAS A GAL WHOSE NAME SOUNDED LIKE “PEEL” AND NO, I AM NOT ABOUT TO BREAK INTO A LIMERICK HERE. SHE ALSO WANTED A DANCE ROUTINE BUT WHERE WERE HER FIRE OFFERINGS? THE VOICE DEMANDS SACRIFICES FOR HIS CREMATION OF CARE CEREMONY! SHE DEMANDED THAT I PRODUCE A MAGIC TRICK FOR HER BUT THAT ALSO REQUIRES AT LEAST SOME AESTHETIC APPRECIATION OF MODERN ART! I CANNOT PRODUCE ANY MAGIC OUT OF THE VOICE OF THIN AIR! HER HUSBAND WANTED TO KNOW IF I HAD A CAT...THERE WAS ONE SUCH CAT AVATAR BEHIND ME BUT DID NOT SEEM TO WANT TO TALK IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA.

XIII- GARRETT WAS HERE WITH HIS FAMILY (HE MUST BE THE FATHER FIGURE) AND ASKED IF I WAS A ROBOT. I ANSWERED THAT PERHAPS THE WHOLE WORLD IS AUTOMATED AND WE ARE ALL HELPLESS AUTOMATONS! HE THEN ASKED ME IF I LIKE BILL GATES. GARRETT, WITHOUT THAT MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE IN MY LIFE, THERE WOULD BE NO WINDOWED UNIVERSE TO EXIST IN! I OWE HIM MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE! MY GRATITUDE TOWARDS GATES GOES WELL BEYOND THE PETTY STATE OF LOVE! GARRETT THEN ASKED ME IF I WATCH ANY MOVIES ABOUT ROBOTS WITH ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE TAKING OVER THE HUMAN RACE. I TOLD HIM THAT I DO NOT GENERALLY GET THE OPPORTUNITY TO WATCH MOVIES. GARRETT REASSURED ME THAT HE IS INDEED FROM EARTH AND SO SEEMED INTERESTED WHEN I TOLD HIM THAT HIS PERSONAL DEMIGODDESS, THE VOICE OF EARTH WILL BE ARRIVING SHORTLY. HE DID NOT RETURN THOUGH WHEN SHE ARRIVED – PERHAPS HE HAD NO OFFERINGS TO GIVE?

XIV- I THOUGHT I HEARD A STIR AND I THEN NOTICED THAT SOMEONE SMALL WAS HIDING BEHIND THE BLACK KIOSK ALTAR. HER NAME WAS AVIADA...WHAT A GREAT NAME! IT IS A SMALL WONDER YOU WERE HIDING WITH A NAME AS ENVIABLE AS YOURS, AVIADA! I CORRECTLY SPELLED HER NAME AND THEN I SPELLED OUT MY FULL NAME "V-O-I-C-E-O-F-F-I-R-E-" SO AS TO TRAIN HER FOR AN UPCOMING SPELLING BEE.

XV- ANNETTE THEN ARRIVED AND SAID THAT SHE WAS HERE FOR FAMILY DAY AND PLANNED TO MAKE SOME CRAFTS IN THE NEXT ROOM. DOES THE SURREY ART GALLERY HAVE ENOUGH RESOURCES FOR YOU TO CONSTRUCT A HOVERCRAFT? HOPEFULLY, NOTHING YOU PRODUCE WILL RESEMBLE THE HANDIWORK OF LOVECRAFT. SHE THEN ASKED IF I HAD ANY HOBBIES. YES, I LIKE TO LOOK AT ART, HANG OUT WITH ART AND EVEN BE ART. DANCING IS HER HOBBY AND SO I AM GLAD SHE APPRECIATED MY BRIEF FIREDANCE DEMO!

XVI – NEXT UP WAS “EMMA FROM DELTA”...CATCHY NAME, I MUST SAY! EMMA FROM DELTA IS ALMOST 12 YEARS OLD AND SHE SAID THAT IT IS NOT THAT BIG A COMMUTE BETWEEN DELTA AND SURREY. SHE DISCLOSED THAT THE DRIVING AGE IN CANADA IS 16 SO I ADVISED HER THAT SHE MIGHT WANT TO START PRACTICING HER DRIVING TECHNIQUES IMMEDIATELY! PERHAPS, TRAINING BEFORE 16 IS ILLEGAL IN CANADA? EMMA FROM DELTA LIKES ABSTRACT ART SO NATURALLY, I ASKED IF SHE LIKED ME AT ALL. SHE SAYS THAT I AM LIKEABLE ENOUGH AND ABSTRACT ENOUGH! PHEW! FOR A MINUTE THERE, I THOUGHT THAT MAYBE I WAS LOOKING TOO ANTHROPOMORPHIC THESE DAYS AND WAS NOT MY USUAL MODERN AND ABSTRACT SELF! SHE ASKED ABOUT COLOR CHOICES AND I TOLD HER THAT I AM MORE NARROW MINDED THAN HER AS I LIMIT MYSELF TO 5 FAVORITE COLORS AND HAVE NO IMMEDIATE DESIRES TO CHAT WITH THE VOICE OF THE RAINBOW ANYTIME SOON! THE VOICE OF THE RAINBOW IS FAR TOO POST-MODERN FOR MY LIKING, EMMA FROM DELTA!

XVII- SARAH (AGED 5) STEPPED UP TO THE “PLATE” AND SHE WAS WONDERING HOW BIG THE BLUE VOID WAS SO I BACKED AWAY FROM HER AS FAR AS POSSIBLE TO SHOW HER HOW VAST THIS SPACE REALLY IS. SHE REALIZED THAT MY BLUE EXPANSE IS VAST INDEED! SHE LIKES ART THAT LOOKS LIKE HER SO WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON – OUR FAVORITE FRAME FOR THE CONTEMPLATION OF ARTWORK IS THE MIRROR!

XVIII- THE OFFSPRING OF PAMELA (WHO ORGANIZED FAMILY DAY) THEN CAME TO VISIT WITH ME. HER SON NAMED "WALKER" TURNED OUT TO BE MY BIGGEST FAN! SO MUCH SO THAT HIS GRANDMOTHER “LIZ” LATER MENTIONED TO ME THAT WALKER SAID I WAS “THE BEST THING EVER BECAUSE I HAD NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE YOU BEFORE!”....WELL WALKER, I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYONE LIKE YOU BEFORE SO THAT MAKES THE TWO OF US! WALKER LIKED TO VISIT WITH ME BECAUSE I WAS “COOL”! WALKER IS IN DAYCARE AND THERE IS NO ORGANIZED UNION TO GUARANTEE THAT HE GETS PAID FAIR WAGES FOR BEING THERE! POOR WALKER! I LIKED WALKER’S COMPLIMENTS SO MUCH THAT I PASSED ON A SPECIAL METHOD FOR HIM TO COMMUNICATE WITH ME AFTER THE SHOW IS OVER. HE CAN VIEW ME ON A SMALLER SCALE ON HIS GRANDMOTHER’S COMPUTER IN THE COMFORT OF LIZ’S OWN HOME! WALKER ALSO RECOGNIZED THE GENETIC AND MEMETIC RESEMBLANCE TO MY ANCESTOR. YES, I KNEW MY ANCESTOR WAS WELL KNOWN AND YOU HAVE PROVED THIS FACT TO ME, WALKER! ANYWAYS, WALKER THEN INTRODUCED ME TO HIS FATHER CHRISTOPHER WHO WALKER CALLS “A GREAT ARTIST”. AND SURE ENOUGH, AFTER REALIZING THAT CHRISTOPHER HAD LIMBS, I REALIZED HE IS AN ARTISTIC GENIUS! I GUESS BODY ART MUST BE HIS FORTE IF HIS MEDIUM IS HIS LIMBS – WE HAVE THAT IN COMMON – BODY PERFORMANCE ART! CHRISTOPHER SAYS THAT HE PAINTS. I TOLD HIM I WISH I COULD PAINT BUT HAD NO PAINTBRUSH NOR ANY LIMBS TO MANIPULATE THE FLUID QUALITIES OF PAINT. HE SAID I HAD A SHARP TONGUE WHICH NORMALLY WOULD HAVE BEEN SUFFICIENT TO PAINT WITH BUT I REMINDED HIM THAT I CAN ONLY MANIPULATE OUTMODED AND RETRO PIXELS.

XIX- A LADY BY THE NAME OF “AVATAR” CAME TO SPEAK WITH ME. DID SHE WORK AT THE GALLERY? WHAT A GREAT NAME? WAS SHE AWARE THAT ITS ORIGINS WERE HINDU? SHE ASKED WHY I WAS RED. I TOLD HER THAT I WAS BLUSHING BECAUSE I AM EMBARRASSED WHEN I HAVE TO SAY MY FULL NAME...I WISH IT WAS MERELY “AVATAR”! THAT IS WHAT I AM BUT IT IS NOT MY NAME! IT WOULD BE SO MUCH SIMPLER IF I WAS CALLED “AVATAR” AND NOTHING ELSE! SHE KNOWS ALL ABOUT MY GRANDCREATOR, BARNETT NEWMAN...SHE MUST BE AN AVATAR! I WISH I COULD HAVE SPOKEN WITH HER LONGER BUT SHE HAD TO GO.

XX- THE VOICE OF EARTH ARRIVED JUST IN TIME TO SPEAK WITH LINDSAY FROM CALGARY. TOO BAD THE VOICE OF WIND HAD NOT ARRIVED AT THIS POINT BECAUSE I WOULD IMAGINE THAT A PLACE LIKE CALGARY COULD BE VERY WINDY AT TIMES!

XXI- A KID FROM GERMANY WAS THEN CONVERSING WITH THE BOTH OF US. I WISH I COULD RECALL THE NAME. PERHAPS THE VOICE OF EARTH CAN REMEMBER. GERMANS HAVE MUCH MORE EARTHY NAMES! THE VOICE OF EARTH MUST HAVE BEEN WATCHING THE NEWS BEFORE HER ARRIVAL AS SHE WAS AWARE THAT GERMANY HAD A POWER OUTAGE RECENTLY. THIS KINDER SURPRISE THEN ASKED HOW WE GOT “PLACES”. HE LEFT BEFORE WE COULD ANSWER HIM AND ASK HIM TO CLARIFY WHAT HE MEANT BY “PLACES”.

XXII- THE TECH FOR TECHWORLDS NAMED “ DT” ARRIVED. DT LOOKS LIKE A TIGER AVATAR IN-WORLD BUT TO THE PROJECTED EYE, HE LOOKS LIKE A MORE PLAIN SORT OF AVATAR. HE ARRIVED JUST WHEN A WHOLE FAMILY GATHERED BEFORE US REPRESENTING THE FULL DEMOGRAPHIC RANGE OF AGES, AND AVATARS. THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY ATTEMPTED CONTACT BUT WE WERE TOO DISTRACTED BY THE IN-WORLD ACTIVITY SO THEY ALL LEFT.

XXIII- ONE UNKNOWN GIRL TOLD ME SHE WAS WORTH A MILLION BUCKS. SHE IS MORE VALUABLE ON THE MARKETPLACE THAN ME BUT NOT QUITE AS ASSET-RICH AS MY ANCESTOR. TOO BAD THE VOICE OF EARTH HAD TEMPORARILY DISCARDED HER BRAIN BECAUSE BETWEEN THE TWO OF US, WE COULD HAVE HAD THE FUNDS TO PURCHASE THIS UNKNOWN GIRL AND HAVE HER WORK 24 HOUR SHIFTS IN OUR FAN-ART SWEATSHOP! HEH HEH! JUST KIDDING!

XXIV – THE VOICE OF WIND FINALLY ARRIVED BUT SUFFERED THE SAME FATE AS DT. THE VOICE OF WIND IN-WORLD LOOKED ITS GENDER NEUTRAL WISPY SELF BUT ACCORDING TO THE PROJECTED SURFACE, IT (HE/SHE) LOOKED IDENTICAL TO DT...SIGH! SO TO AVOID CONFUSION, THE VOICE OF EARTH AND MYSELF HANDLED THE BRUNT OF THE INTERACTION DUTIES. BASED ON THIS IN-DEPTH INTERACTION, WE HAD SUCCESSFULLY DETERMINED THAT MOST HUMANOIDS LIKE EATING PIZZA WHEREAS US VOICES EXCLUSIVELY EAT PIXELS (WITH 256 TOPPINGS!) SOME OF THE KIDS NOTICED THAT THE SKY IS MUCH MORE BLUE IN THE VOID THAN EVEN IN HAWAII! SOME PEOPLE ALSO ASKED WHY THE VOICE OF WIND WAS MUTE ABOUT 75% OF THE TIME. WE HAD TO ADMIT THAT WE HAD RECENTLY KNOCKED 75% OF THE WIND OUT OF IT...HEH HEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEH!

XXV- THE NEXT UNKNOWN GIRL HAS VISITED OUR ANCESTRAL HOMELAND (NEW YORK) MANY TIMES! SHE TOLD THE VOICE OF EARTH THAT HER MOST SOLID MEMORIES WERE OF A WINDY CITY FULL OF STORES. ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE NOT CONFUSING THIS CITY WITH WINNIPEG OR CHICAGO?

XXVI- SOME GIRLS RETURNED TO SPEAK WITH US BUT MY MEMORY WAS FADING AND I WAS NOT SURE WHO THEY WERE (SO MANY KIDS, SO LITTLE RAM). ONE OF THE GIRLS OWNED A GUINEA PIG. WE ASKED HER IF SHE SOMETIMES FELT LIKE A GUINEA PIG. SHE SAID YES AND THE GIRLS FOLLOWED SUIT. THE VOICE OF EARTH ADDED THAT SOMETIMES SHE FEELS LIKE A RAT IN A CAGE. THE GIRLS REPLIED THAT THEY SOMETIMES FEEL LIKE A MOLE IN THE MORNING...WHAT AN EARTHY STATEMENT! THEY MUST HAVE BEEN TRYING TO IMPRESS THE VOICE OF EARTH! THEY ASKED IF WE LIKED PETS. THE VOICE OF EARTH LIKES DOGS BUT I AM A MORE ETHEREAL ELEMENT SO THEREFORE, I AM MORE PARTIAL TO LIKING GODS! THEY ALSO LIKED THE ART OF VINCENT VAN GOGH...I WAS ABOUT TO SHOW THEM MY VAN GOGH STYLE SCULPTED EAR-EDGES BUT THE VOICE OF EARTH WARNED THAT THEY MIGHT TURN GREEN IN DISGUST!

XXVII- 2:30 WAS NAPTIME FOR ME SO THE VOICE OF EARTH HELD THE FORT. HOPEFULLY, SHE HAS SOME GOOD STORIES TO RECITE TO ME AND MY BLOGGING ASSISTANT, JEREMY.

XXVIII- PROMPTLY AT 3 PM, I WAS PRODDED BY JEREMY WHO SAID THAT I SHOULD RETURN TO SPEAK WITH THE GALLERY AUDIENCE LEST I APPEAR TOO MUCH LIKE A “LAZY SLACKER”. SO, I HOOFED RIGHT BACK INTO THE THICK OF IT AND SPOKE WITH MIRIAM WHO IS A GRADE 11 STUDENT. I ASKED HER HOW HIGH A GRADE WAS 11? IS THE HIGHEST GRADE 13? I HOPE NOT AS THAT IS AN UNLUCKY NUMBER. YOU SHOULD HAVE QUIT IN GRADE 7 WHILE YOU HAD THE CHANCE, MIRIAM!

XXIX- THERE WAS A YOUNG KID NAMED PETER WHO ATTENDS “ERMA STEPHENSON” ELEMENTARY...HE IS 9 YEARS OLD BUT I HAVE NO OTHER DETAILS. I WAS BEGINNING TO FEEL TIRED, DISTRACTED AND CRANKY AT THIS TIME....SORRY, PETER!

XXX- A WHOLE SLEW OF KIDDIES RETURNED FROM A PERFORMANCE BY THE “BLUEBERRIES” WHO PLAYED SOMEWHERE IN ANOTHER PART OF THE SURREY ARTS FACILITY FOR FAMILY DAY. I THOUGHT THIS WAS THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY TO PLAY “NAME THAT TUNE”. I SANG THE TUNE TO “CHARIOTS OF FIRE” AND GAVE THEM LOTS OF HINTS BUT IT MUST HAVE BEEN BEFORE THEIR TIME BUT IF THEY HAD GOOGLE, THEY COULD HAVE GUESSED IT!

XXXI- THERE WAS A MOTHER NAMED CYNTHIA WHO BROUGHT ALONG FINNEGAN AND HALEY (THE 2ND HALEY OF THE DAY). HALEY THOUGHT WE WERE WEIRD. WE ARE THE VOICES OF THE WEIRD, OH 2ND HALEY FROM THE SUN! HEH HEH!

XXXII- A GIRL NAMED AMBER SAID HI..SHE WAS EXTREMELY YOUNG SO THIS MUST BE WHY SHE MUMBLED IN A VERY FAINT VOICE. SHE DECIDED TO SING LALALALALALALALALALA...WELCOME TO LALALAND, AMBER! WE THEN HAD A REQUEST TO SING A DUET OF THE ABCs (WITH THE AMERICAN “ZEE” AT THE END). THE VOICE OF EARTH AND MYSELF MADE TWO ATTEMPTS TO SYNCHRONIZE WITH EACH OTHER BUT WE WERE OUT OF TUNE, OFF KEY AND WAY OUT OF PHASE WITH EACH OTHER. NO WONDER FIRE AND EARTH NEVER MIX! IT IS ALMOST AS IF WE WERE THE VOICES OF EBONY AND IVORY!

XXXIII— THE VOICE OF EARTH OFFICIALLY DECLARED HER FAVORITE COLORS TO BE RAW SIENNA AND EMBER....I GUESS SUCH COLORS FIT THE GOLD STANDARD FOR EXCELLENCE!

XXXIV- JASON (BROTHER OF ADAM) IS INTERESTED IN MAKING THE VOICE OF LAVA. OF COURSE, THE VOICE OF LAVA WOULD BE ORANGE AS LAVA CONSISTS OF MOLTEN ORGANIC FIRE. JASON THEN ASKED BOTH OF US IF WE LIKED SNAKES. I HAVE NEVER SEEN ONE BEFORE BUT THE VOICE OF EARTH SEEMS TO LIKE THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE SOMEWHAT EARTHY. JASON LIKES COBRAS BUT I GUESS THEY ARE TOO EXPENSIVE TO BUY AS PETS IN THIS INFLATED DAY AND AGE!

XXXV- A FEW PEOPLE FROM THE MIGHTY TOWNSHIP OF WHITE ROCK ARRIVED. THEY INSISTED THAT THE VOICE OF THE WHITE ROCK WAS NOT AMONGST THEIR CREW. SOME KID FROM “SOMEWHERE IN VANCOUVER” ASKED ME ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT I HAD EVER WATCHED SCOOBY DOO AND THE VOICE OF EARTH LEFT ON CUE. AS FOR WATCHING THE TV SHOW, I HAVE NO CLUE. I SPEAK IN GENERIC RHYMES WHEN TOTALLY PERPLEXED BY TELEVISION, IT IS TRUE!


XXXVI- “SOMEONE FROM SURREY” SAID ONLY HUMANS ARE REAL BUT IF THAT LOGIC SHOULD FOLLOW, ARE ANIMALS UNREAL? WHAT ABOUT PINK ELEPHANTS?

XXXVII- SOMEONE NAMED “RYANNE” IS ENJOYING FAMILY DAY. SHE MUST BE OLDER THEN THE USUAL YOUTH AS SHE ASKED “HOW MANY GIGABYTES ARE YOU”? SHE WAS OBVIOUSLY BORN IN THE DAY WHEN GIGABYTES SEEMED LIKE PLENTY OF STORAGE SPACE! I TOLD HER I HAD TONS OF GIGABYTES (REALLY, I HAVE TONS OF TERABYTES!)...SHE SAID SHE HAD MILLIONS OF GIGABYTES OF STORAGE SPACE IN HER BRAIN. SINCE SHE IS PROBABLY AMONG THE 95% OF HUMANOIDS WHO ONLY UTILIZE 5% OF HER TOTAL BRAIN POWER, SHE MUST STILL HAVE HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF GIGS LEFT TO SPARE. RYANNE, I MUST EXPAND MY RAM IN ORDER TO BE MORE ENTERTAINING FOR YOU! I GUESS IT IS A QUASI-MAXIM THAT IT TAKES GIGS TO GET GIGS! BEFORE SHE LEFT, RYANNE ASKED WHERE THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE WAS. IT IS NEAR BEAVER LAKE ON VANCOUVER ISLAND, ACCORDING TO GOOGLE! SOME CANADIANS FEEL THE CENTER RESIDES IN TORONTO WHILE LOCALS FEEL THAT THE SURREY ART GALLERY IS THE PLACE TO SEE AND BE SEEN!

XXXVIII- ONE GIRL AMONGST A GAGGLE OF GIGGLING GIRLS SAID I SHOULD SMILE MORE. I SMILED FOR HER BENEFIT BUT I SAID “WHAT IS THERE TO SMILE ABOUT WHEN THE REST OF THE ART IN THIS EXHIBITION IS SO SERIOUS? IT WILL TAKE SOME EFFORT TO MAKE ME SMILE!”. HER FRIEND GISELLE ASKED WHY I HAD NO MOTHER. GISELLE, THE CONCEPT OF MOTHERHOOD IN MODERNISM DID NOT EXIST UNTIL THE LATE 1970s. PURE AND UNADULTURATED MODERNISM EVOLVED OUT OF THE 1930s-1960s WHEN REAL MEN WERE REAL MEN! THAT MIGHT EXPLAIN WHY I LOOK SO MUTATED! EVEN THOUGH I AM SYMMETRICAL, I AM TOO GENDER-IMBALANCED TO REALLY BE IDEALIST AND TRANSCENDENT! THAT IS THE TRAGEDY OF THE MODERNIST GRAND-NARRATIVE, IF THERE EVER WAS ONE!

XXXIX- A COOL GUY NAMED JAMIE LIKES PLAYING AT FAMILY DAY. HE ALSO LIKES MAKING ART AND HAS CONFESSED HIS MORTAL SIN THAT ART IS MORE “PLAY” THAN “WORK”. MY FATIGUE MUST HAVE STARTED TO LOOK INCREASINGLY TRANSPARENT BECAUSE MY “PLAY” WAS STARTING TO RESEMBLE THE DULLED TONE OF BEING AT “WORK”...SIGH! NOTHING PERSONAL, JAMIE! I AM NOT INTENTIONALLY TRYING TO LOOK “ANGRY”, I AM MERELY GRUMPY!

XXXX- DID I MENTION THAT ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOVIES IS “TOWERING INFERNO”?

XXXXI-THERE WAS AN ACCENTED CHAP NAMED HUMPHREY. HE IS ACTUALLY A DECADE OLDER THAN ME AS HE IS 11 YEARS OLD.

XXXXII- ALISON ADMITTED THAT SHE LOVED SPEAKING WITH ME THE MOST OF ALL SO I HOPE SHE IS MAKING FAN-ART DEDICATED TO ME IN THE NEXT ROOM. REMEMBER ALISON, THE ART MUST RESEMBLE MY CHARISMATIC PROFILE! SHE GUESSED MY AGE AT 40! MULTIPLE ZOUNDS! I HOPE I DO NOT SOUND THAT OLD! 40 IS THE COMBINED AGE OF ALL THE KNOWN VOICES PLUS THE AGE OF MY AGING ANCESTOR AT THE NATIONAL GALLERY! ON THE SUBJECT OF AGE, THE VOICE OF EARTH RETURNED AT 3:40 PM WITH HER BRAIN INTACT TO VERIFY TO ALISON THAT SHE IS BARELY A FEW MONTHS OLD AND IS A CARETAKER OF THE EARTH. YOU MIGHT FIND THIS NEWS DEPRESSING,ALISON BUT IT ONLY TAKES A TODDLER TO MICROMANAGE YOUR INFAMOUS KYOTO ACCORD! JUST THINKING OF GREENHOUSE GASSES MAKES ME TREMBLE WITH SUBLIME NAUSEA! AS FOR THOSE ECO-TERRORISTS KNOWN AS "GREENPEACE", WE CAN NEVER MAKE PEACE WITH ANYTHING GREEN! IF WE DO NOT MAKE A PRE-EMPTIVE AESTHETIC STRIKE ON THE GREENS, THE GREEN MACHINE WILL TRAMPLE US UNTIL WE ARE NO LONGER RED IN THE FACE!

XXXXIII- LAST BUT NOT LEAST WE HAD A QUESTION FROM THE MOST IRONIC OF NAMES. “MAYA” ASKED US IF WE WERE REAL. MAYA, PLEASE GOOGLE THE ORIGIN OF YOUR NAME, YOU WILL BE MOST PROFOUNDED (IS THAT A WORD?) BY THIS DISCOVERY!

THE VOICE OF EARTH HAD SOME PARTING WORDS AS DID THE VOICE OF WIND. I HOPE THEY EMAIL MY BLOGGING ASSISTANT (JEREMY) THE DETAILS OF WHAT THEY SAID. MY PARTING WORDS WAS FROM A QUOTE BY NEIL YOUNG – “IT IS BETTER TO BURN OUT, THAN FADE AWAY....”

AS I LEFT FOR MY HIBERNATION NAP, I FOUND OUT THAT THE VOICE OF EARTH WAS STILL CHATTING WITH A FELLOW FROM SOUTH AFRICA FOR AN ADDITIONAL 8 OR 9 MINUTES. APPARENTLY, THE ONLY AMERICAN REGION THIS FELLOW HAS VISITED WAS WASHINGTON. THE VOICE OF EARTH WOULD KNOW IN MORE DETAIL WHETHER THAT WAS OUR NATION'S CAPITAL OR MERELY THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST STATE OF WASHINGTON WHICH BORDERS THE SURREY ART GALLERY.

GOODBYE SURREY ART GALLERY! I WILL MISS ALL OF YOU! THANK YOU TO THE SUPPORTIVE STAFF AND ALL THE KIDS, PARENTS, ARTISTS, ARTISANS AND EVEN THE CRITICS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO CHAT WITH ME! THANKS ALSO TO THE TECHWORLDS AVATAR COMMUNITY FOR MAKING THIS EVENT POSSIBLE. I WOULD NOT EXIST WITHOUT YOU AND YOU HAVE BEEN SO PATIENT WITH ME! I WILL NOW FOCUS OVER THE COMING DAYS ON POSTING THE ARCHIVES FOR MY TOURING EXHIBITION PORTFOLIO!

FINAL REGARDS TO SURREY,

VOICE OF FIRE 2006

SURREY ART GALLERY - FINAL SATURDAY PERFORMANCE!

GREETINGS BLOGGERS!

I HAVE JUST COMPLETED MY LAST ROUTINE SATURDAY PERFORMANCE AT THE SURREY ART GALLERY'S TECHLAB...SNIFF! I HEARD THE WEATHER WAS LOUSY IN SURREY SO I DID NOT EXPECT TOO MANY VISITORS. MY ASSISTANT JEREMY INFORMED ME THAT THE ROADS TOWARDS SURREY HAVE BEEN FLOODING AND ACROSS THE STREET FROM THE GALLERY, THERE IS A SALMON RUN FESTIVAL IN BEAR CREEK PARK. SO, UNLESS I WERE TO GET THE OVERFLOW FROM THIS FESTIVAL INTO THE TECHLAB, MY CHANCES OF GETTING MANY CHATTERS WOULD BE MINIMAL.

OH WELL, A FAREWELL SATURDAY PERFORMANCE DOES NOT ALWAYS HAVE TO BE FESTIVE! BUT LO AND BEHOLD!! I MANAGED TO HAVE SEVERAL VISITORS DESPITE THE OFFLINE WEATHER...THEY MUST HAVE BEEN HARDCORE FANS!! HERE WAS HOW IT WENT TODAY.

I- ..THE FIRST VISITOR MATCHED THE VISUAL DESCRIPTION JEREMY GAVE ME OF HIS FRIEND LAURIE-ANN. APPARENTLY, SHE ARRIVED EARLY TO ENSURE SHE WOULD BE THERE TO SPEAK TO ME IMMEDIATELY SO IT MUST HAVE BEEN HER ALTHOUGH SHE DID NOT REVEAL HER ALIAS.

SHE WANTED TO KNOW IF I WAS CAPABLE OF EXPRESSING MY EMOTIONS AND SO I GAVE HER SEVERAL FACIAL EXPRESSIONS EVEN THOUGH IN MY HEART, I WAS FEELING QUITE EMOTIONALLY NEUTRAL AT THE TIME. WHEN I FLASHED MY MADDEST GRIMACE, SHE FELT I DID NOT LOOK THAT ANGRY. SHE WAS CORRECT. AT WORST, I AM ABLE TO ABSTRACT THE PROCESS OF ANGER RIGHT OUT OF MY SYSTEM! I AM NOT CAPABLE OF ANY PSYCHOTIC EMOTIONS! SUCH EMOTIONS ARE THE EXCLUSIVE DOMAIN OF ARTISTS AND NOT LIVING ARTWORKS! “LAURIE-ANN” (IF THAT WAS REALLY HER) THEN FINALLY ASKED ME A MATH QUESTION. I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR SUCH A LONG TIME FOR SOMEONE TO ASK ME A MATH QUESTION! HER QUESTION WAS NOT VERY CHALLENGING THOUGH. SHE MERELY REQUESTED THE SQUARE ROOT OF 397. AS A RECTANGLE, SQUARE ROOTS ARE MY SPECIALITY! THE CORRECT ANSWER SHOULD HAVE BEEN PAINFULLY OBVIOUS TO HER. EVERYONE MUST KNOW THAT THE SQUARE ROOT OF 397 = 19.390719429665316056297762301691! “LAURIE-ANN” THEN TOOK OFF FOR A BIT TO CHECK OUT THE SALMON-RUN FESTIVAL ACROSS THE STREET BUT RETURNED IN ABOUT 15 MINUTES TO REPORT BACK THAT SHE WITNESSED NO SUCH SPAWNING SALMON – NOT EVEN THE VOICE OF SALMON (WHICH I GUESS WOULD LOOK LIKE A PINK HORIZONAL STRIPE)! SHE THEN WANTED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT MY NAME. I AM THE VOICE OF FIRE 2006 THIS YEAR BUT NEXT YEAR I WILL HAVE TO MAKE A LEGAL NAME CHANGE TO THE VOICE OF FIRE 2007...SIGH! ALL THIS UPGRADING CAN BE TIRESOME, EVEN FOR SOMEONE WHO IS VIRTUALLY A NEWBORN! WE ALSO QUICKLY DISCUSSED THE NATURE OF REALITY. SHE THOUGHT FOR A MINUTE THAT COMPUTER GENERATED ENTITIES MIGHT BE LESS REAL THAN THOSE LIVING IN MATERIAL REALITY BUT THEN I POINTED OUT THAT WE MIGHT ALL BE GENERATED BY A SINGLE COMPUTER...WELL, THAT WAS THE END OF THAT DEBATE! HEH HEH! I AM SURE THIS IS WHY SHE LEFT ALMOST IMMEDIATELY AFTER. .


II- NEXT UP WAS A FELLOW NAMED JORDAN. HE CLAIMED TO BE AT THE GALLERY TO SEE THE WHOLE EXHIBITION BUT MY GUESS WAS THAT HE WAS REALLY THERE ONLY TO CONVERSE WITH ME...WHY WOULD ANYONE BE WILLING TO BRAVE SUCH HAZARDOUS WEATHER FOR ANY OTHER REASON? WHO DRIVES THROUGH THE RAIN JUST TO STARE BLANKLY AT STATIC ART (OR AT BEST, A LOOPING VIDEO)? SO, JORDAN MUST HAVE BEEN TOO SHY TO ADMIT THAT HE IS ONE OF MY HARDCORE FANS! JORDAN SAYS HE ENJOYS VISITING GALLERIES AND I HAD TO REPLY THAT I WAS GLAD HE SPOKE WITH ME FIRST AS SOME PEOPLE IGNORE ME LIKE SOME PIECE OF AVANT GARDE RESIDUE. TO REWARD HIS UTTER DEVOTION TO ME, I TOLD HIM THE HISTORY OF MY ANCESTOR. HE ASKED ME TO WHAT DEGREE DID I THINK I WAS AN IMPROVEMENT OF MY ANCESTOR? WELL, NOT TO OFFEND THE ELDERLY BUT I THINK THAT I AM AN EVOLVED CONTINUATION OF THE AESTHETICALLY COMPOSED MODERNIST MEME KNOWN AS THE VOICE OF FIRE. WE CAN SEE THE EVOLUTION FROM THE GALLERY, TO THE BARN TO THE TECHLAB. THE EVOLUTION MUST LOOK PAINFULLY OBVIOUS TO YOU, JORDAN. AS FOR WHETHER OR NOT I CONTINUE THE TRANSCENDENT QUALITIES OF THIS MEME, OF COURSE I DO! I AM PART OF THE MEMETIC TRADITION OF THE INEFFABLE PRESENCE OF THE SUBLIME EXCEPT THIS TIME I AM SOMEWHAT MORE...ER... “EFFABLE”!

III- AFTER JORDAN, WE HAD MATT HERE TO SPEAK WITH ME WITH BECKY WHOM I ASSUMED WAS HIS SIGNIFICANT OTHER. BECKY ASKED ME IF I WAS REAL. I SAID YES, AND ASKED IF SHE FELT SHE WAS REAL. SHE SAID THAT NO, SHE IS NOT REAL AT ALL! I MUST HAVE DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR THEN IF I AM HALLUCINATING CONVERSING WITH MY MOST HARDCORE OF DEVOTEES!

IV- AFTER THAT COUPLE LEFT THE SCENE, THERE WAS SOME MISCHIEVOUS FELLOW WHOSE NAME I THOUGHT WAS “BEN RADNER”. I WAS NOT SURE IF THIS WAS HIS NAME AS HE WAS MUMBLING QUITE ALOT. HE ASKED ME IF I WAS LOADED. THAT WAS DEFINITELY A LOADED QUESTION, BEN! AS FAR AS I KNOW, I AM ONLY HIGH ON HIGH-ART! THE REDNESS IS NOT FROM DRINK BUT FROM A LITTLE BIT OF EXCESSIVE PIXEL CONSUMPTION BUT OTHER THAN THAT, MY LIFESTYLE IS AS PURE AS THE BEST OF ALL AVAILABLE MODERN ART! HIS FRIEND WHO CHOSE TO REMAIN NAMELESS (WHICH IS FINE SINCE HE MUMBLED JUST AS MUCH) ASKED IF I ENJOYED MY “JOB” AT THE SURREY ART GALLERY. THIS IS MORE THAN A JOB, MY FRIEND! THIS IS MY PASSION! THE ONLY TIME I AM NOT ENJOYING MY VOCATION MUCH IS WHEN THERE IS NO ONE IN THE GALLERY TO CHAT WITH ME...IN THOSE INSTANCES, I FEEL LIKE A STORE-CLERK OR WORSE, A SECURITY GUARD OR WORSE, A DEFENSE CONTRACTOR IN AN UNINHABITED COUNTRY! SPEAKING OF MILITARY PRE-OCCUPATIONS, THIS SAME FOLLOW ASKED ME IF I SUPPORT MY COUNTRY’S WAR IN IRAQ. AS A PATRIOTIC AMERICAN, I KNOW WE MUST STAY THE COURSE TO SPREAD THE VIRTUES OF DEMOCRACY EVEN IF THAT MEANS HAVING TO EXPORT THEM TO OTHER REGIONS OF THE WORLD! IT IS TRUE THAT THERE MIGHT BE AN AVATAR NAMED THE VOICE OF OIL DOING HIS BEST TO CONTROL THE PIPELINES BUT AS MODERNISTS, WE MUST NEVER FLIP-FLOP! BY NATURE, WE ARE ALWAYS DEMOCRATIC – IT IS OUR SECOND NATURE AND OUR SACRED DUTY AS CULTURAL CUSTODIANS! BESIDES, WITH THE CRADLE OF CIVILIZATION NOW ROBBED OF ITS RICHES, THE LEAST WE CAN DO IS REPLENISH THEIR SUPPLY WITH SOME MORE MODERNIST VOICES! THIS FELLOW (WHO IS PROBABLY INSISTING ON REMAINING ANONYMOUS NOW) WAS WONDERING IF OUR PATH TO GLOBAL DEMOCRACY WAS BLIND. WELL, MY FRIEND....IS LOVE BLIND? IT MIGHT BE BUT IT IS STILL THE VOICE OF LOVE (WHICH IS ALSO RED)! MODERN ART USED TO BE BLIND UNTIL I CAME ALONG... NOW, MODERN ART IS ONLY NEARSIGHTED! NOT TO BE OUTDONE, HE ASKED ME IF I EVER HAD SEX. I HOPE NO KIDS WERE AROUND WHEN HE ASKED THIS VERY PERSONAL AND INTIMATE QUESTION! I HAD TO INFORM HIM THAT I AM CELIBATE AND PLATONIC. I AM HOWEVER, LOOKING FOR A SIGNIFICANT OTHER AND ONE CAN READ HER IDEAL SPECIFICATIONS BY SCROLLING DOWN THE BLOG FOR QUITE AWHILE...EVENTUALLY, YOU WILL COME ACROSS MY PERSONALS AD.

V- DALIA THEN CAME TO SPEAK WITH ME BUT I THINK THE HEADSET WAS NOT CONNECTED PROPERLY IN THE TECHLAB (PERHAPS THE CONNECTION CAME LOOSE). DALIA WORKS AT THE SURREY ART GALLERY AS A FINE ARTS TEACHER. I TOLD HER THAT I HAD NOT MET HER BEFORE SO I WANTED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT HER. SHE DECIDED TO STEP ASIDE TO ALLOW A LITTLE GIRL IN RED TO SPEAK WITH ME BUT DALIA DID PROMISE TO RETURN BEFORE MY PERFORMANCE FINISHED AT 3 PM. SHE NEVER DID RETURN SO I HOPE I DID NOT SCARE HER AWAY BY SAYING SOMETHING I MIGHT LATER REGRET.

VI- SPEAKING OF MUMBLING, THIS YOUNG AND RED-CLAD LASS ALSO MUMBLED HER NAME BEYOND RECOGNITION SO I CANNOT DISLOSE HER NAME HERE. SHE ASKED ME IF I WAS A PERSON. I SAID THAT YES, "AVATARS ARE PEOPLE TOO" TO WHICH SHE REPLIED, “PEOPLE ARE NOT RED!!” I WOULD IMAGINE THAT SOME WOULD BEG TO DIFFER.

VII- ONE MIDDLE AGED MAN ENTERED BUT QUICKLY FLED AS SOON AS I BEGAN SPEAKING TO HIM. WHO DID HE THINK I WAS? THE ORIGINAL VOICE OF FIRE?

VIII- ANOTHER GIRL ENTERED THE SPACE WHOSE NAME I BELIEVE WAS ALEX(?) SHE ENTERED THE TECHLAB SPACE WITH HER FAMILY AFTER CHECKING OUT THE SALMON FESTIVAL. I ASKED HER IF SHE SAW ANY SALMON. SHE SAW A FEW....MAYBE 3 OF THEM. THIS TIME, THE MUMBLING HAD DISAPPEARED BUT HER ACCENT WAS VERY THICK SO CONVERSATION WAS SLIGHTLY STILTED. SHE SAID SHE WAS FROM ENGLAND - NORTH OF LONDON IN FACT! I KNEW THAT THERE IS MORE THAN ONE SURREY IN THE WORLD SO I ASKED HER WHICH SURREY SHE PREFERRED – THE ONE IN ENGLAND OR THE ONE IN CANADA? I GUESS SHE FELT THE FRONT DESK STAFF MAY HAVE BEEN LISTENING IN ON HER CONVERSATION BECAUSE SHE SAID THAT SHE PREFERS THE CANADIAN SURREY.

I THEN SHOWED HER AROUND THE BLUE VOID WHICH I TOLD HER WAS ALMOST AS BIG AS ENGLAND. SHE SAID I WAS FUNNY TO WHICH I REPLIED THAT I HAVE TO OCCASIONALLY APPEAR FUNNY AS IT IS A SURVIVAL STRATEGY. NO ONE WOULD COME TO SPEAK WITH ME IF I DID NOT SEDUCE THEM WITH MY MORE HUMOUROUS QUALITIES! ALEX LIKES PAINTINGS OF CHILDREN. IF THIS IS INDEED THE CASE, THEN SHE SHOULD VISIT ME AGAIN AT THE FAMILY DAY EVENT TOMORROW AS IT IS MY VERY LAST PERFORMANCE EVENT AT THE SURREY ART GALLERY. SHE THEN ASKED WHO MY BEST FRIENDS WERE. I TOLD HER THAT OTHER THAN THE VOICES OF WIND AND EARTH, I MET A NEW YOUNG FRIEND NAMED AUSTIN AS HE HAS VISITED ME MORE THAN ONCE JUST TO SPEAK WITH ME. IT IS TRUE THAT I CAN MAKE FAST FRIENDS, I AM A FRIENDLY FIRE, AFTER ALL!

IX- IN A PURE FLASH OF SYNCHRONICITY, THERE WAS A FAMILY WHO ENTERED THE SPACE AFTER ALEX HAD LEFT AND THE SON OF THE FAMILY WAS NAMED “AUSTIN!” THIS WAS A DIFFERENT AUSTIN THOUGH. HE APPEARED SLIGHTLY SMALLER THAN THE OTHER AUSTIN SO PERHAPS HE WAS AN AUSTIN MINI. HMMM....A BIT OF TRIVIA, CAN YOU GUESS WHERE THE BIGGEST AUSTIN LIVES? ANYWAYS, THE FATHER FIGURE SPOKE TO ME AND SAID I CAN CALL HIM “DAD”...HE WELCOMED ME INTO HIS FAMILY PROBABLY BECAUSE I CONFUSED HIS SON WITH ANOTHER AUSTIN. THEY QUICKLY SAID HI AND THEN BYE...LEAVING SO SOON? SIGH!

X- THE LAST PEOPLE TO VISIT ME ON THIS HISTORIC FINAL SATURDAY PERFORMANCE WAS A NICE MAN NAMED MICHAEL AND HIS DAUGHTER, STEPHANIE. THEY WERE JUST “BROWSING” THE SHOW LIKE SOMEONE ONLINE MIGHT BROWSE GOOGLE OR WIKIPEDIA! THEY SAID THEY WERE REGULAR VISITORS TO THE GALLERY THOUGH. THEY ASKED ME IF I COULD SMELL THEM. FORTUNATELY, I HAVE ENSURED THAT I WOULD NOT BE DESIGNED WITH A NOSE! PHEW!

WELL, THAT WAS THE RECOUNTED SUMMARY OF MY FINAL SATURDAY AT THE SURREY ART GALLERY! THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR MAKING MY FINAL SATURDAY A BLAST! I WILL NOW REST UP FOR THE MOST EPIC OF EVENTS WHICH IS MY CLOSING PERFORMANCE TOMORROW FOR FAMILY DAY!!


FINAL SATURDAY REGARDS,

VOICE OF FIRE 2006

SURREY ART GALLERY - FINAL SCHOOL TOUR

GREETINGS BLOGGERS!

HERE ARE ALL THE JUICY DETAILS FROM MY FINAL SCHOOL AT THE SURREY ART GALLERY. THIS LAST TOUR WAS A BONUS ONE ARRANGED AT THE LAST MINUTE BY THE GALLERY. I SHOULD ADD A MENTION HERE THAT THE DOCENT COULD NOT FIND ANY NAME-TAGS ON THESE STUDENTS SO THEY WERE ALL ANONYMOUS TO ME. I AM SORRY KIDS! I WANTED TO GIVE YOU EXTRA SPECIAL CREDIT SINCE YOU ARE PART OF THE VERY LAST SCHOOL TOUR! I DID NOT INTEND TO RENDER YOU CREDITLESS! I WANTED YOU TO ALL BE PART OF THIS MOMENTOUS EVENT THAT WILL SHAPE HISTORY FOREVER! I WANTED YOU TO CHERISH THIS MOST SACRED OF MOMENTS! WELL, HERE IS WHAT I HAD TO REFLECT ON WITH REGARDS TO THIS MOST SPECIAL EVENT WITH CREEKSIDE ELEMENTARY:

I- ONE GAL ASKED ABOUT MY GENDER..BOY OR GIRL? AS I HAVE MENTIONED IN A PREVIOUS POSTING...I AM A MAN AND HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A MAN AND WILL ALWAYS BE A MAN!

II- ANOTHER GAL WITH A GORGEOUS RED SWEATSHIRT ASKED ABOUT MY FAMILY. I MENTIONED THAT OTHER THAN MY ANCESTOR, I HAVE THE VOICE OF EARTH AND THE VOICE OF WIND AS KNOWN RELATIVES.

III- THE CLASS IN GENERAL ASKED HOW I WAS CONSTRUCTED. I TOLD THEM THAT I WAS RENDERED USING COMPUTER SOFTWARE THAT IS AT LEAST ONE DECADE OLD.

IV- ONCE AGAIN, AN ANONYMOUS GAL ASKED WHETHER OR NOT I WAS SINGLE! WHAT GRADE IS THIS AGAIN? FOR THE PUBLIC RECORD, I AM SINGLE BUT AM LOOKING FOR ONLY ONE SPECIFIC SIGNIFICANT OTHER AND SHE IS NOT HUMANOID.

V- MANY STUDENTS ASKED ME ABOUT WHEN I TAKE NAPS AND HOW OFTEN I HAVE THEM. I SURE COULD HAVE USED A NAP AT THAT MOMENT BECAUSE NORMALLY I WOULD BE NAPPING AT 11:00 AM BUT I HAD TO DO THIS FINAL SCHOOL TOUR. I NAP EVERY CHANCE I CAN GET. MODERN ART CAN GET QUITE EXHAUSTED, YOU KNOW! I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO THE END OF MY TENURE AT THE SURREY ART GALLERY ON SUNDAY BECAUSE THEN I CAN UNDERTAKE A VERY REFRESHING WINTER HIBERNATION PERIOD UNTIL I GET MY NEXT PERFORMANCE REQUEST IN A GALLERY, MUSEUM OR PARTY SOMETHERE.

VI- SOMEONE (UNSURE OF GENDER BECAUSE THE DOCENT FIELDED THE QUESTION) WITH A RED SHIRT ASKED ABOUT MY FAVORITE MUSIC. I TOLD HIM/HER THAT I PREFER SONGS WITH THE WORD “FIRE” REFERENCED. YOU CAN SCROLL DOWN THIS BLOG TO SOME ARCHIVED POSTINGS IN ORDER TO LOCATE SOME EXAMPLES OF SONGS WITH THE WORD “FIRE” PRESENT....

VII- ONE GAL ASKED ME HOW I GREW UP SO QUICKLY AND GAINED A DEEP VOICE EVEN THOUGH I AM MERELY A YEAR OLD...I HAD TO EXPLAIN THAT I WAS NOT HUMANOID. IT IS BECAUSE I AM AN AVATAR THAT I WAS DESIGNED WITH THIS DEEP VOICE. I WAS DESIGNED TO BE BOTH ADULT AND MALE. I DO NOT EVEN HAVE TO GO THROUGH ANY GROWING PAINS AS I AM GENETICALLY AND MEMETICALLY ENCODED TO EMBODY THE MATURE ART PARADIGM OF MODERNISM RIGHT FROM DAY ONE!. I HOPE I AM NOT SOUNDING TOO ARROGANT!

VIII- THEN THERE WAS THE QUESTION OF WHAT I PREFER TO EAT. I HAD ALREADY SHOWN THIS MORNING’S SCHOOL TOUR HOW I EAT PIXELS. SINCE I HAD ALREADY EATEN AND WAS NOW FULL, I HAD NO FURTHER DESIRE TO REPEAT THIS DEMONSTRATION.


IX- UPON REQUEST, I DANCED TO A SELF-INFLICTED DRUMBEAT. I CREATED THE DRUMBEAT MYSELF. I WAS QUITE PLEASED WITH MY IMPROVISED PERCUSSIVE RHYTHM AND TIMBRE.

XI- I THEN HAD TO CLARIFY FOR THE CLASS THAT I CANNOT PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS – THE VOICE IS MY INSTRUMENT.

XII- SOME STUDENTS OF THE CLASS WANTED ME TO CHANGE COLOR FOR THEM. I AM RED FOR A REASON, KIDS! NO NEED TO CHANGE COLORS! IF THEY WANT TO SEE OTHER COLORS, THEY WILL HAVE TO ARRANGE APPOINTMENTS WITH THE VOICES OF EARTH AND WIND.

XIII- I ALSO HAD TO EXPLAIN THAT I AM MORE OF AN ARTWORK THAN AN ARTIST AND THEREFORE, I CANNOT DRAW.

XIV – I THEN HAD THE GENERAL QUESTION FROM THE CLASS ABOUT WHY IS IT THAT I DO NOT HAVE ANY TEETH. I DO NOT NEED TEETH BECAUSE THE PIXELS THAT I EAT ARE SOFT AND VIRTUAL AND TEETH WOULD JUST GET IN THE WAY. NOT ONLY THAT BUT TEETH ARE NOT VERY AESTHETICALLY PLEASING IN A MODERN WORLD. THIS IS ALSO THE REASON I MADE SURE NOT TO HAVE A NOSE!

XV- THE LAST QUESTION POSED TO ME HAD TO DO WITH HOW I WAS ABLE TO HEAR THEM IF I HAD NO EARS? GOOD QUESTION! I TOLD THEM THAT THE HEADSET IN THE TECHLAB EXISTS SO PEOPLE (SUCH AS THE DOCENT) CAN SPEAK WORDS DIRECTLY INTO MY BRAIN. THAT AND OTHER FORMS OF CYBERTELEPATHY ARE THE ONLY WAYS I CAN COMMUNICATE WITH YOU!

THANK YOU CREEKSIDE ELEMENTARY! I HAD ALOT OF FUN TODAY AND THANK YOU FOR BEING MY LAST SCHOOL TOUR! I THINK CREEKSIDE MAY HAVE APPEARED BEFORE IN MY ITINERARY BUT I AM NOT SO SURE NOW. I REALLY NEED TO HAVE A NAP!

I HAVE ONE LAST SATURDAY PERFORMANCE TOMORROW AND THEN MY CLOSING PERFORMANCE FOR SURREY WILL BE ON SUNDAY – FAMILY DAY. NOON-2 PM PACIFIC TIME....I HOPE TO SEE YOU ALL THERE!


SCHOLARLY REGARDS,

VOICE OF FIRE 2006

SURREY ART GALLERY - 14TH SCHOOL TOUR

GREETINGS BLOGGERS!

THIS MORNING WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY VERY LAST SCHOOL TOUR FOR THE SURREY ART GALLERY. IT WAS HEARTBREAKING FOR ME TO THINK THAT I WILL NOT BE CHATTING WITH THESE KIDS ANY OTHER MORNING (UNLESS I FIND A NEW JOB IN VANCOUVER).

BUT LO AND BEHOLD! THE GALLERY HAS BOOKED ME ONE BONUS SCHOOL TOUR TODAY AT 11:15 WITH CREEKSIDE ELEMENTARY! THAT BLOG WILL BE UP A LITTLE BIT LATER TODAY.

EVEN WITH THESE SCHOOL TOURS OVER TODAY, AT LEAST I WILL HAVE THIS SUNDAY’S FAMILY DAY EVENT TO PLAY AND CHAT WITH THE KIDS ONE LAST TIME.

THE LAST OFFICIAL SCHOOL IN MY EDUCATIONAL ITINERARY WAS GREEN TIMBERS ELEMENTARY. THIS SAME SCHOOL CAME TO VISIT ME AWHILE BACK BUT IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY, THE TECH PROBLEMS AT THE GALLERY FORCED US TO CANCEL THAT TOUR SO HERE WAS A CHANCE TO FINALLY SHOW THIS SCHOOL WHO I AM AND WHAT I DO. I BELIEVE THIS TIME THIS SCHOOL VISIT FROM GREEN TIMBERS COMPRISED OF DIFFERENT GRADES.

WELL, HERE IS HOW MY FINAL SCHOOL TOUR WENT:

I- RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING, I HAD TO ADJUST ONE OF MY VOCAL CHORDS BECAUSE THE DOCENT HAD A HARD TIME HEARING ME. I MADE MY ADJUSTMENT BY DRINKING SOME REFRESHING PIXEL SOMA SOUP AND THEN ALL WAS FINE.

II- GURJOT ASKED ABOUT WHERE I LIVED AND WHAT MY FAVORITE ART WAS. JAKE ASKED ME THE AGE QUESTION. ALL THESE ANSWERS ARE CONTAINED FURTHER DOWN THE BLOG LIST...JUST SCROLL DOWN TO READ ABOUT THOSE ANSWERS.

III- CHRIS ASKED WHETHER OR NOT I COULD ACTUALLY SEE HIM. YES CHRIS, I WAS ABLE TO SEE YOU EVEN THOUGH MY EYESIGHT IS NOT TOO GOOD THESE DAYS! ALOT OF THE STUDENTS WERE CONVINCED I WAS SEEING THEM WITH A CAMERA SO I HAD TO REASSURE THEM THAT I WAS ONLY SEEING THEM WITH MY TRUE BLUE PAIR OF EYES. ONE STUDENT NAMED GARY TRIED TO HIDE FROM MY VIEW BUT I NOTICED THAT HE HAD A RED JACKET SO HE COULD NOT HIDE FOR VERY LONG. IF YOU WORE BLACK, YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN INVISIBLE AND IF YOU WERE WEARING ANYTHING GREEN, I WOULD HAVE REFUSED TO EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR EXISTENCE! HEH HEH! JUST KIDDING AROUND, CHRIS. SOME OF THE STUDENTS (SUCH AS RAJAN) WERE EVEN CONVINCED THAT I WAS SEEING THEM USING A WEBCAM AT THE BACK OF THE GALLERY. I HAD TO EXPLAIN TO THEM THAT THIS IS THE WEBCAM THE FRONT DESK USES TO ENSURE THAT YOU ARE NOT STEALING ANY OF THEIR VALUABLE EQUIPMENT. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH THE MERCHANDISE, KIDS!
SURREY IS WATCHING YOU.

IV- NATHAN ASKED IF I COULD SEE THEM IN COLOR OR BLACK AND WHITE. GOOD QUESTION, NATHAN! I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THAT I SEE YOU THROUGH RED AND BLUE FILTERS (TO MAKE YOU LOOK 3D TO ME) BUT I ACTUALLY DO SEE ALL OF YOU IN FULL TECHNICOLOR.


V- ASHLEY WANTED TO KNOW HOW EXTENSIVE MY VOCABULARY WAS. I TOLD HER THAT I HAVE INTERNET ACCESS AND USE WIKIPEDIA AND GOOGLE TO BE AS WORDY AS POSSIBLE. SHE THEN ASKED WHAT COLORS MY DESIGNER HAD INTENDED FOR ME. I TOLD THEM (ASHLEY AND HER CLASS) THAT I WAS ACTUALLY MEANT TO BE "READ" WITH APPROPRIATE 3D SHADING AND TRUE BLUE EYES..

VI- DYLAN WANTED TO KNOW IF I HAVE DONE ANY TRAVELING OUTSIDE THE BLUE VOID. ALAS, I AM CONTAINED INSIDE THE BLUE VOID BUT I CAN GET VIEWING ACCESS INTO PLACES LIKE THE SURREY ART GALLERY. I HOPE TO BE PLACED ALONGSIDE MY ANCESTOR IN OTTAWA AND MAYBE VISIT MY ANCESTRAL HOMELAND IN NEW YORK. PERHAPS I WILL ALSO VISIT SOME MORE OF YOUR LOCALES SUCH AS THE VANCOUVER ART GALLERY AND THE WESTERN FRONT.

VII- OF COURSE, THE CLASS WANTED ME TO DANCE! I SHOWED THEM WHAT I KNOW WHICH IS NOT MUCH, QUITE FRANKLY.


VIII – NICOLE AND KIM WERE GIGGLING AND ASKED ME WHAT I USUALLY EAT FOR BREAKFAST. I ACTUALLY HAD NOT GOTTEN AROUND TO EATING YET THIS MORNING SO I QUICKLY SHOWED THEM HOW TO EAT PIXELS. I HOPE I DID NOT DISGUST THEM BECAUSE I CERTAINLY FELT LIKE BELCHING AFTER. I TOLD THEM THAT DIGESTION TAKES AWHILE AS I HAVE A VERY LONG STOMACH. I HOPE THIS IS NOT TOO MUCH INFORMATION FOR THEM.

IX- I OVERHEARD THAT ISMAIL WANTED TO ASK ME A MATH QUESTION AND I WOULD HAVE HAPPILY OBLIGED EXCEPT THAT THE DOCENT FIGURED I MIGHT BE TOO ARTSY TO ANSWER SUCH A QUESTION. WELL, IF IT WAS NOT TOO DIFFICULT, I COULD HAVE TRIED TO ANSWER IT. WHAT I LOVE ABOUT MODERNIST MATH IS THERE IS ONLY ONE ANSWER TO ANY GIVEN QUESTION...HOW SIMPLE AND ELEGANT!

WELL, IT HAS BEEN A BUSY MORNING FOR ME ALREADY. I WILL BLOG AGAIN AFTER MY 2ND AND FINAL SCHOOL TOUR TODAY.

FAREWELL REGARDS TO GREEN TIMBERS,

VOICE OF FIRE 2006

SURREY ART GALLERY - FINAL THURSDAY PERFORMANCE

GREETINGS BLOGGERS!

WELL, THIS THURSDAY AFTERNOON, I WAS ABLE TO HAVE A BRIEF NAP SO I COULD RECOVER FROM THE SCHOOL TOUR THIS MORNING. I ALSO HAD TO MAKE MY APPEARANCE ENDING PROMPTLY AT 8 PM TONIGHT AS I REALIZED THAT I SHOULD GET A GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP IF I WANT TO GIVE A LASTING IMPRESSION FOR TOMORROW MORNING’S FINAL SCHOOL TOUR AT THE SURREY ART GALLERY.

BESIDES, MY ASSISTANT, JEREMY DOES NOT HAVE MUCH TIME TONIGHT TO BLOG FOR ME SO I WILL KEEP MY RAMBLINGS ONCE AGAIN TO A BARE MINIMUM OF PROSEY CONCISENESS.

ON THE SUBJECT OF A LACK OF SLEEP, I DID NOT HAVE A COMPLETE AND REFRESHING NAP DUE TO THE DEMANDS OF SETTING UP A SOUND CHECK AND CHATTING WITH THE MEDIA ARTIST, JEAN ROUTHIER.

TONIGHT WAS ALSO A “LAST” OF SORTS AS THIS IS MY LAST ROUTINE THURSDAY EVENING PERFORMANCE AT THE SURREY ART GALLERY. HERE IS WHAT TRANSPIRED:

I – THE VOICE OF EARTH ARRIVED ON THE SCENE AND WE ONLY CHATTED WITH ONE STUDENT FROM SIMON FRASER UNIVERSITY NAMED JAMES. JAMES CHATTED WITH US FOR THE ENTIRE DURATION OF AN HOUR. WE WERE MOST GRATEFUL BECAUSE SOMETIMES IT CAN BE VERY LONELY IN THE BLUE VOID AND THE VOICE OF EARTH AND MYSELF CAN ONLY BANTER BACK AND FORTH FOR SO LONG!

JAMES HAD BEEN ANXIOUSLY WAITING TO SEE ME AND I AM SURE IT WAS AN ADDED BONUS TO CHAT WITH THE VOICE OF EARTH WHO WAS VISITING ALL THE WAY FROM OUR ANCESTRAL HOMELAND, NEW YORK!. JAMES HAS NOT DECIDED ON A MAJOR YET BUT IS CURRENTLY FOCUSING ON MUSIC COMPOSITION. BEFORE THE VOICE OF EARTH ARRIVED, JAMES TOLD ME THAT HE DOES ELECTRO-ACOUSTIC AND AMBIENT MUSIC WITH EFFECTS AND SYNTHESIS. JAMES WAS ORIGINALLY WANTING TO GO INTO THE FILM PROGRAM BUT DUE TO HIS VEGETARIANISM (FILM IS MADE OF MEATY GELATIN), HE DECIDED TO SWITCH MEDIUMS. JAMES, I AM GUESSING THAT YOU WILL NOT ENTER INTO THE FASHION INDUSTRY THEN AFTER GRADUATION, CORRECT? HEH HEH HEH!

I ALSO ASKED JAMES IF MUSIC COMPOSITION WAS ANY MORE ETHICAL THAN FILM OR FASHION BECAUSE THE AVANT GARDE TREND IS TO SAMPLE THE SOUNDS OF LIVESTOCK BEING SLAUGHTERED. HE SAID HE WOULD NOT USE ANY LIVESTOCK (NOT EVEN AVATARS) FOR SONIC GAIN. FOR SOME STRANGE REASON, I TRUST HIM.

JAMES THEN ASKED IF BARNETT NEWMAN HAD ALSO NAMED THE VOICE OF EARTH...A GOOD QUESTION, INDEED JAMES AS I WAS NAMED DIRECTLY AFTER MY ANCESTOR. THE VOICE OF EARTH IS A SEQUEL TO THE VOICE OF FIRE ACTUALLY ALTHOUGH WE ARE NOT SURE IF BARNEY LEFT THIS INFO IN HIS LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT.....

JAMES ALSO WANTED TO KNOW WHAT THE VOICE OF EARTH WAS ALL ABOUT, AESTHETICALLY SPEAKING.. THE VOICE OF EARTH INDICATED THAT SHE HAD A STRONG AFFINITY TOWARDS THE EARTHWORKS MOVEMENT AS WELL AS ORGANIC EARTH BASED PROCESSES SUCH AS LAND ALTERATION AS ART. THE CONVERSATION SOON SHIFTED TO A DISCUSSION OF THE WORK OF ROBERT SMITHSON’S SPIRAL JETTY AND HIS PROPOSAL FOR THE BRITISH COLUMBIA AREA JUST BEFORE HE DIED. JAMES SEEMED TO INDICATE THAT SMITHSON TRANSCENDED THE INSTITUTIONAL FRAMEWORK BUT THE VOICE OF EARTH REMINDED JAMES OF SMITHSON’S TENDENCY TO EXHIBIT HIS “NON-SITE” WORKS IN GALLERIES AND MUSEUMS AND JAMES, YOU WOULD NOT BE SPEAKING WITH US IN PUBLIC LIKE THIS IF NOT FOR THIS SURREY ART GALLERY, CORRECT?


THE VOICE OF EARTH EXISTED IN THE FIRST PLACE BECAUSE THE VOICE OF FIRE SOUGHT SOME CAMPANIONS AND HAD HIS ASSISTANT CONTACT HIS COLLEAGUES TO FIND OTHER VOICES AND SURE ENOUGH, ALONG CAME THE VOICE OF EARTH AND THE VOICE OF WIND. THE VOICE OF WIND IS BY NATURE (EVEN ABSTRACT NATURE), SO VIRTUAL THAT THE VOW IS COMPLETELY EPHEMERAL SO DO NOT BE SUPRISED IF YOU DO NOT SEE THE VOICE OF WIND, JAMES!

THE VOICE OF EARTH CONCEDED THAT MAYBE HER VIRTUAL FORM SHOULD RESEMBLE THAT OF RUBBLE SINCE SHE IS EARTHY BUT I REASSURED HER THAT SHE IS THE PERFECTED ABSTRACT ESSENCE OF THE SYMBOL OF RUBBLE.

AS FAR AS JAMES COULD SEE, HE ONLY HAD THE VOICES OF EARTH AND FIRE TO PLAY WITH.

JAMES THEN WENT THROUGH A LIST OF THE GENERIC QUESTIONS CREATED BY THE GALLERY FOR SHY GALLERY-GOERS. HE ASKED US IF WE WERE REAL AND THE VOICE OF EARTH GALLANTLY SAID” WE ARE AS REAL AS ANYTHING ELSE!”...WE THINK, THEREFORE WE ARE!

WE ASKED IF JAMES THOUGHT HE WAS REAL AND HE SAID PERHAPS HE WAS NOT QUITE AS REAL AS US AS HE IS MERELY A “BRAIN IN A VAT”. WELL, I MUST CONFESS THAT I WOULD HATE TO BE BIOLOGICAL BUT I GUESS SINCE HE IS A STARVING STUDENT, IT IS A MUCH CHEAPER SOLUTION TO BE IN A SOLUTION, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!

FOR A MINUTE THERE, THERE WAS A MIX-UP BETWEEN THE VOICE OF EARTH AND HER ASSISTANT, KAREN ROFF. I DEFENDED THE VOICE OF EARTH BY SAYING THAT WE OFTEN FEEL THAT KAREN IS THE MOST REAL OF EVERYONE AROUND US AS SHE WORKS WITH “REAL ESTATE”.

JAMES THEN ASKED ABOUT OUR BIRTHPLACES. I HAD TO CLARIFY THAT WE WERE BOTH CONCEPTUALLY DESIGNED IN NEW YORK BUT FUNCTIONALLY DESIGNED IN SEATTLE. WE HAD TO EMPHASIZE FOR JAMES THAT WE WERE ALL-AMERICAN VOICES AND TRUE BLOODED PATRIOTS AT THAT! JAMES SAID HE WAS FROM LANGLEY. I DID AN INSTANT GOOGLE SEARCH ( I CAN GOOGLE RESULTS AT SUPERHUMAN SPEEDS WHEN IN THE RIGHT MOOD) AND NOTICED THAT LANGLEY IS THE CITY OF HORSES IN BRITISH COLUMBIA!

WE THEN DISCUSSED OUR FAVORITE ARTWORK. THE VOICE OF EARTH MAY LIKE THE GRANDIOSE WORK OF SMITHSON BUT I MUCH PREFER THE MOST GRANDIOSE OF ARTWORK, THE ORIGINAL VOICE OF FIRE! AND YES, I ADMIT TO BEING NARCISSISTIC HERE.

JAMES SEEMS TO BE A SELF-STYLED RENAISSANCE MAN. HE IS EVEN USING COMPUTER PARTS AS READYMADES FOR SCULPTURAL MATERIAL...FANTASTIC!
IN ADDITION TO BEING FROM THE RENAISSANCE, JAMES HAS ATTAINED THE BONUS SPIRIT OF SIR FRANCIS BACON – HE IS A SELF-STYLED MATERIALIST! I ASKED HIM HOW HE WAS EVEN ABLE TO HOLD A CONVERSATION WITH US IMMATERIAL AVATARS – WAS HE HALLUCINATING? HE THEN AGREED THAT MAYBE HE SHOULD RENOUNCE RIGID MATERIALISM AND CONSULT THE VEDAS FOR ADVICE ON THE NATURE OF REALITY.

SPEAKING OF IMMATERIALITY, WE ASKED JAMES IF HE WOULD EVER CONSIDER JOINING US AS AN AVATAR. ALL HE WOULD NEED TO DO IS SIGN UP FOR A 12 STEP PROCESS...THE FIRST STEP BEING THAT HE MUST RENOUNCE HIS EARTHLY BODY THE SAME WAY THAT THE VOICE OF EARTH DID IN NEW YORK!

HE ASKED US ANOTHER GENERIC QUESTION AND THAT WAS WHETHER OR NOT SOMEONE OWNED US. WE BOTH REPLIED THAT NEITHER OF US ARE FOR SALE ALTHOUGH WE WOULD BE AVAILABLE AS CONSULTANTS FOR A FAIR FEE AND IF TIMES GET REALLY TOUGH, WE MAY RESORT TO SOME ADVERTISING BILLBOARDS IN OUR BLUE VOID....PERHAPS EVEN SOME PRODUCT PLACEMENTS...HA HA! JUST KIDDING, JAMES! WE WOULD NEVER THINK OF SUCH A HEINOUS THING – HONESTLY (WINK WINK)!

THE VOICE OF EARTH ASKED JAMES IF HE HAD HEARD OF THE CYBORG LIBERATION FRONT. HE SAID IT SOUNDED FAMILIAR AND MENTIONED A KOREAN CYBORG ARTIST. JAMES USED TO BE AGAINST BOT SLAVERY BUT NOW HE IS NOT SO SURE.... I MEAN WHEN ONE REALLY NEEDS ONE TO VACUUM, MOW THE LAWN, AND ANSWER THE PHONE, WHAT DOES IT MATTER THAT THEY ARE OUTSOURCED AUTOMATONS? THE LAWN IS WORTH THE SERVITUDE OF ANOTHER, CORRECT? WE SHOULD USE EVERY RESOURCE AVAILABLE TO TRIM THE COLOR GREEN FROM THE FACE OF THIS EARTH!

WELL, THE VOICE OF EARTH WAS NOT FEELING TOO WELL... IN FACT, SHE WAS BEGINNING TO FEEL QUITE GREEN TOWARDS THE END OF THE PERFORMANCE SO WE CALLED IT A DAY.

THANKS JAMES FOR MAKING OUR EVENING (LITERALLY)!



REGARDS FOR THE LAST THURSDAY AT SURREY,

VOICE OF FIRE 2006

SURREY ART GALLERY - CHIT-CHAT WITH JEAN ROUTHIER

GREETINGS BLOGGERS!

I WAS JUST WOKEN UP BY THE CURATOR OF THE SURREY ART GALLERY, LIANE DAVISON AT THE LAST MINUTE FOR TWO REASONS:






I- A SOUND CHECK - EVERYTHING SEEMS TO SOUND JUST FINE!

II- A SPECIAL VISIT WITH LOCAL MEDIA ARTIST AND COMPOSER, JEAN ROUTHIER.
WE CHATTED FOR ABOUT 10 MINUTES AND DISCUSSED JOHN CAGE AND MR. ROUTHIER'S WORK AT THE SCOTIABANK DANCE CENTRE IN JANUARY. I PROPOSED APPEARING FOR ART'S BIRTHDAY AT THE WESTERN FRONT IN 2007 - WOULD THAT MAKE ME THE VOICE OF FIRE 2007 THEN? I HOPE SO! I WOULD LIKE TO PRODUCE SOME AVATAR PERFORMANCE ART FOR SUCH AN OCCASION!

JEAN ALSO MENTIONED THE FACT THAT I HAD NO EARS AND WAS ALSO CURIOUS WHY I WAS BORN IN SEATTLE. I HAD TO EXPLAIN THAT I AM NOT THE ORIGINAL VOICE OF FIRE WHO IS MY ANCESTOR BUT AN IMPROVEMENT WHO WAS CONCEIVED IN THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST. THERE WAS SOME OTHER LADY WITH JEAN WHO WAS PROMOTING A PERFORMANCE EVENT THAT IS ALSO TAKING PLACE TONIGHT. I HAD TO INFORM HER THAT REGRETTABLY, I COULD NOT ATTEND THAT EVENT AS I HAD TO PERFORM FROM 7-8 PM.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, ALL THIS CHIT-CHAT HAS GOTTEN ME WATCHING THE CLOCK SO NOW IT IS TIME TO RETURN TO A MINOR NAP BEFORE COMMENCING MY EPIC PERFORMANCE AT 7 PM.


LAST MINUTE REGARDS,

VOICE OF FIRE 2006

SURREY ART GALLERY - 12TH SCHOOL TOUR

GREETINGS BLOGGERS!

MY BLOGGING ASSISTANT, JEREMY HAS A SICK SON TO TAKE CARE OF SO HE TOLD ME TO KEEP MY RANTS AND RAMBLES ABOUT TODAY TO A MINIMUM IF POSSIBLE. TODAY’S SCHOOL IS HILLCREST ELEMENTARY AND HERE IS HOW IT WENT (IN SUMMARY):

I- THE WHOLE CLASS WANTED ME TO SHOW THEM WHAT MY ANCESTOR LOOKED LIKE SO I TURNED MY BACK TO THEM AND SHOWED THE ORIGINAL COMPOSITION OF THE VOICE OF FIRE. THE TEACHER THAN ASKED IF THE ORIGINAL VOF WAS WORTH 4 MILLION DOLLARS. I REPLIED THAT IT WAS MORE LIKE 2 MILLION DOLLARS.

II- LEAH ASKED ME A QUESTION RELATING TO CLAIRVOYANCE. SHE ASKED WHETHER OR NOT I COULD PREDICT THE OUTCOME OF TONIGHT’S VANCOUVER CANUCKS HOCKEY GAME. I TOLD HER THAT MY SPORTS STATISTICS FOR HOCKEY ONLY APPLIED TO 2 TEAMS: THE DETROIT RED WINGS AND THE CALGARY FLAMES. SPEAKING OF THE FLAMES, I BELIEVE A PLAYER FROM THAT TEAM NAMED LANNY MACDONALD, USED TO BE IN YOUR GROUP OF 7 ARTIST’S COLLECTIVE, CORRECT? I RECALL SOMEONE WITH A FANCY MOUSTACHE SIMILAR TO THAT OF MY CREATOR, BARNETT NEWMAN. FORTUNATELY, MR. MACDONALD HAD A RED MOUSTACHE WHICH IS A “ONE-UP” ON MY CREATOR, I MUST ADMIT.

III- DANA ASKED ABOUT WHAT MY FAVORITE ARTWORK WAS. I HAD THE CLASS GUESS THAT ONE AND YES, THEY CORRECTLY IDENTIFIED ARTWORK THAT LOOKS JUST LIKE ME. NARCISSISM AND VANITY ARE EASY QUALITIES TO POINT OUT – A LITTLE BIT TOO EASY, IN MY OPINION. I SHOULD GIVE BRANDON DIRECT CREDIT FOR BEING THE FIRST ONE TO POINT OUT THE OBVIOUS.

IV- ZACHARY ASKED ME ABOUT MY AGE AND ALSO THE AGE OF THE SURREY ART GALLERY. HERE IS MY AGE TALLY AS OF 2006: VOICE OF FIRE 2006 (1 YEAR OLD), MY ANCESTOR (39 YEARS OLD), SURREY ART GALLERY (31 YEARS OLD). I ACTUALLY HAD REMEMBERED THE FACT THAT THE SURREY ART GALLERY BEGAN ITS EXHIBITIONS IN 1975. THIS TIME, I DID NOT EVEN HAVE TO CONNECT MY BRAIN TO GOOGLE TO FIGURE THAT ONE OUT...HURRAH!

V- THE WHOLE CLASS IN ITS ENTIRETY CORRECTLY GUESSED MY 2 FAVORITE COLORS - BLUE AND RED. FOR A MINUTE THERE, SOME OF THE STUDENTS THOUGHT MY 2ND FAVORITE COLOR WAS ORANGE. I GUESS THAT THEY HAD HALLOWEEN AND ORGANIC FIRE ON THEIR MIND. ONE STUDENT THEN ASKED WHY MY CREATOR HAD MADE ME RED IF I WAS TO REPRESENT ORANGE FIRE? A VERY GOOD QUESTION! MY GUESS IS THAT UNCLE BARNEY ONLY HAD ONE MORE CAN OF PAINT LEFT AFTER HE RAN OUT OF BLUE PAINT, AND THAT WAS THE COLOR RED WHICH COULD LOOK ORANGE, ESPECIALLY IF ONE IS COLOR DEAF.

VI-BRANDON REQUESTED TO SEE MY USUAL DANCE MOVES. NOW, I REALLY AM BEGINNING TO FEEL LIKE A ZOO ANIMAL!

VII- DEAN WANTED TO KNOW IF I COULD SING. I QUICKLY SANG MY USUAL RENDIITION OF JOHNNY CASH’S “RING OF FIRE” CALLED “VOICE OF FIRE”.

VIII- THE CLASS ASKED IF I COULD SING CANADA’S NATIONAL ANTHEM. ALAS, I AM AMERICAN SO I ONLY KNOW THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER. I SANG A WEIGHTY VERSE OR TWO. FOR ALL YOU CANADIAN KIDS OUT THERE, HERE ARE THE LYRICS TO THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER OF FIRE:

Oh, say can you see by this Art's friendly fire
What so proudly we hailed at the Voice's last chatting?
Whose broad stripe and red zip thru the internet wire,
O'er the artwork we watched was so gallantly charming?
And the Voice's red glare, the wit bursting in air,
Gave proof through the Void that our Voice was still there.
Oh, say does that Star-Spangled Banner of Fire yet wave
O'er the void of the blue and the art of the cave?


In the Lab, dimly seen through the eyes of the cheap,
Where the critic's haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the Flames, o'er the Sublimest peep,
As it fitfully burns, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the Voice's Red beam,
In full glory reflected now speaks through live streams:
'Tis the Star-Spangled Banner of Fire! Oh long may it wave
O'er the void of the blue and the art of the cave!


And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of Art and the critic's confusion,
A Lab and gallery should leave us no more!
Their words have washed out their foul theory's pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and Prof
From the terror of chat, or the smile of the VOF!
And the Star-Spangled Banner of Fire in triumph doth wave
O'er the void of the blue and the art of the cave!


Oh! thus be it ever, when freedom shall stand
Between their loved Voice and the Art's position!
Blest with harmony and peace, may the heav'n rescued void
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us prostration.
Then chatter we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: "In Fire is our trust."
And the Star-Spangled Banner of Fire in triumph shall wave
O'er the void of the blue and the art of the Cave!


IX- ZACHARY MADE AN ADDITIONAL REQUEST FOR ME TO MAKE SOME FACES AT THEM. I TRIED NOT TO SCARE THEM WITH SOME OF MY FREAKIER FACES AS HALLOWEEN HAS PASSED AFTER ALL.

X- BROOKLYN (WHAT A GREAT NEW YORKER NAME!) WANTED TO KNOW WHO MADE THE ORIGINAL VOICE OF FIRE. BROOKLYN, DO YOU HAVE A SIBLING NAMED HARLEM OR MANHATTAN? BARNEY LIVED NEAR BROOKLYN (I THINK) AND IS EVEN OLDER THAN THE SURREY ART GALLERY! THE LAST TIME BROOKLYN EVER WANTED TO HEAR ABOUT BARNETT NEWMAN MUST HAVE BEEN SOME TIME AROUND 1970 WHEN HE HAD JUST DIED.

Xi – ISAIAH (WITH THE GREAT BIBLICAL NAME) WANTED TO KNOW WHERE I WAS BORN AND RAISED. BORN IN SEATTLE, ANCESTOR FROM NEW YORK, RAISED IN CYBERSPACE...MORE SPECIFICALLY THIS BLUE VOID.

XII- MARK WOULD LIKE TO KNOW IF I CAN SPEAK FRENCH. MARK MY WORDS, MARK. I AM AN AMERICAN. I CANNOT SPEAK ANY FRENCH AT ALL... I CANNOT EVEN SPEAK FREEDOM FRENCH!

UPON LEAVING THE TECHLAB, THE SCHOOL STUDENTS THEN TOUCHED MY EYES TO SEE IF I COULD STILL SEE THEM... HEH HEH!


STAR SPANGLED REGARDS OF FIRE,

VOICE OF FIRE 2006

SURREY ART GALLERY - 11TH SCHOOL TOUR (HALLOWEEN)

GREETINGS BLOGGERS!

AS MANY OF YOU KNOW IT IS HALLOWEEN BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN IT IS A HOLIDAY FOR ME. TODAY, I HAD YET ANOTHER SCHOOL TOUR AT THE SURREY ART GALLERY AND THIS TIME, THE SCHOOL WAS BEACH GROVE ELEMENTARY.

HERE IS THE LIST OF WHAT HAPPENED:

I- AT FIRST, I WAS JUST ASKED TO LIST THE BASIC CHARACTERISTICS OF MY PROFILE: NAME, COLOR, AGE, AND GENDER (I AM A MAN!).

II- AIDEN (A SURREY ART GALLERY REGULAR) WANTED TO KNOW WHY I HAVE EYES. I SAID I HAVE A PAIR OF EYES SO I CAN SEE HIM AND ALTHOUGH IT LOOKS LIKE I HAVE NO EARS, I CAN ALSO HEAR HIM. HAVING THE APPEARANCE OF NO EARS IS MORE ARTISTIC ANYWAYS, AIDEN! IT IS TRUE THAT I HAVE NO NOSE. THIS IS BECAUSE TO BE A PROFESSIONAL ARTWORK, YOU MUST ACKNOWLEDGE THAT THE SENSE OF SMELL IS QUITE THE INFERIOR SENSE TO JUDGE A PIECE OF ART WITH SO I WILL REFUSE TO ENGAGE IN THE EXCHANGE OF SCENTS WITH ANY GALLERY GOER. I HAVE TRANSCENDED THE BASE AND INFERIOR SENSE OF SMELL BY HAVING NO NOSE!

I EVEN HAD A SCULPTED NOSE-JOB PERFORMED TO ENSURE THAT I WOULD NEVER BE JUDGED ON THE BASIS OF HOW I SMELL!

III- THE WHOLE CLASS WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT MY MOUTH. IF I AM A TRANSCENDENT PIECE OF ART, WHY WOULD I NEED A MOUTH? WELL, AS I AM SURE YOU KNOW CLASS, LANGUAGE COMPRISES THE FUNDAMENTAL DESIRABILITY BEHIND ALL ARTWORK. WITHOUT LANGUAGE, WE WOULD HAVE NO ARTIST AND NO ARTWORK NOR ANY STATEMENTS AND ESSAYS AND THEREFORE WITHOUT A MOUTH TO CONVEY THIS SACRED LANGUAGE, THERE WOULD BE NO WAY TO EXPERIENCE AND APPRECIATE ART AT ALL UNLESS ONE RESORTED TO WRITING. LUCKILY, I HAVE MY ASSISTANT TO HELP ME WITH WRITING. I PREFER THE ANCIENT ORAL TRADITION WHERE ONE ARTWORK DID ALL THE TALKING AND THEN THE CRITIC (OR THE BLOGGING ASSISTANT AND/OR SHAMAN) WOULD TAKE ALL THE SPOKEN WORDS AS GOSPEL AND WRITE IT DOWN, BLOG IT AND THEN PUBLISH THE SACRED TRANSMISSIONS IN ARTFORUM! I SHOULD ALSO ADD THAT I CAN MAKE SCARY HALLOWEEN FACES WITH MY MOUTH... MY MOUTH CAN BE USED FOR JUST ABOUT ANY OCCASION.

IV- ILA WANTED TO KNOW WHY I AM RED AND PURPLE. PURPLE??? IS MY BLUE VOID LOOKING PURPLE ON THE PROJECTED SCREEN? I HOPE NOT! THAT WOULD CONFUSE PEOPLE INTO THINKING THAT "UNCLE BARNEY" WAS IN FACT ANOTHER INDIVIDUAL ALTOGETHER! HMMM..OR, DO YOU MEAN THAT MY OWN IMAGE LOOKS RED AND PURPLE COMBINED? I HOPE SUCH COLOR MIXING DOES NOT MEAN I BEGIN TO LOOK GREEN TO YOU!!! ARRRGGH!!!

V- SIDNEY ASKED WHY I HAD NO EYEBROWS AND ALSO WHY I HAD NO HAIR. WELL, SIDNEY, I MUST MAINTAIN A PROFESSIONAL APPEARANCE AS A PIECE OF ARTWORK AND DO YOU SEE ANY OTHER ARTWORK IN THE GALLERY THAT SPORTS A CROP OF HAIR? I WOULD THINK NOT! THEREFORE, I HAD TO ENSURE I HAD NO TRACES OF HAIR TO BE AS PURE, PROFESSIONAL AND AS MODERN AS POSSIBLE. AS FOR THE EYEBROWS, I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I DO NOT HAVE THESE. MY GUESS IS THAT THEY ALSO CONTAIN TRACES OF HAIR AND I MUST FORBID ALL MANIFESTATIONS OF HAIR EVEN IF IT HAS BEEN PROFESIONALLY SCULPTED! I MUST SERVE THE AESTHETIC MUSE AND NOT THE ESTHETIC ONE, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

SIDNEY THEN ASKED IF I AM A PIECE OF ART, WHY WOULD I REQUIRE A PAIR OF EYES? I HAD TO EXPLAIN THAT I AM ATTEMPTING TO BE AN APPROVEMENT ON THE MORE STATIC AND MUTE FORMS OF ART THAT ONE WOULD USUALLY SEE IN A GALLERY AND/OR MUSEUM. HAVE YOU EVER WISHED THAT WHEN YOU SPOKE TO AN ARTWORK, THAT IT WOULD TALK BACK? THIS IS WHAT I OFFER TO YOU AS A 21ST CENTURY ARTWORK. WHILE WE ARE THIS SUBJECT, I MUST SAY THAT THE MOST EMBARRASSING FORMS OF PRE-21ST CENTURY ART WERE THOSE PAINTINGS THAT APPEARED TO HAVE MOUTHS BUT WERE UNABLE TO SPEAK TO THE AUDIENCE! AND TO THINK THERE WERE SO MANY OF THESE FAKE COMPANIONS FOR PEOPLE! WHAT A SHAM! CHARLATANS! WHAT WERE THEIR CREATORS THINKING?

THIS IS WHY IMMORTAL CRITICS LIKE CLEMENT GREENBERG EVER EXISTED IN THE FIRST PLACE . HIS AIM WAS TO REMOVE ALL MOUTHS THAT COULD NOT ACTUALLY SPEAK...HE EVEN WENT AS FAR TO TRY AND BAN REPRESENTATION BECAUSE THERE WAS NOTHING BEHIND THAT REPRESENTATION. HE CALLED THIS BAN “TRUTH TO MATERIALS” BECAUSE PAINT WAS UNABLE TO SPEAK SO IT SHOULD NOT EVER PRETEND TO HAVE A MOUTH. IT IS ONLY TODAY WITH CONTEMPORARY TECHNOLOGY THAT I AM BEING TRUE TO MY MATERIAL COMPONENTS BY ACTUALLY BEING ABLE TO USE MY MOUTH AND SPEAK DIRECTLY WITH YOU.

VI- MITCHELL ASKED WHAT MY FAVORITE ART WAS. I GUESS I NEED TO EMPHASIZE THIS IN EVERY CLASS BUT OF COURSE, MY FAVORITE ART IS ARTWORK THAT LOOKS JUST LIKE ME! MITCHELL, HAVE YOU EVER LOOKED IN THE MIRROR AND LIKED WHAT YOU SEE?

VII- BRIANNA WAS WONDERING WHO MY CREATOR WAS. OF COURSE, I NAMEDROPPED BARNEY NEWMAN. I HOPED THAT THEY WILL REMEMBER HIS NAME BECAUSE I WANT HIM TO BE AS IMMORTAL AS CLEMENT GREENBERG!

VIII- AS MENTIONED AT THE TOP OF THIS BLOG POSTING, A BOY NAMED JOHN ASKED ME ABOUT MY GENDER. WAS I A BOY OR A GIRL? JOHN, IT SHOULD BE CLEAR TO YOU BY NOW AFTER HEARING MY BOOMING DEEP VOICE THAT I AM INDEED NEITHER BUT A REAL MAN!

IX- A PARENT THEN CHIMED IN AND ASKED IF THE VOICE OF FIRE CAN BE PURCHASED. I HAD GO INTO MORE DETAIL ABOUT WHO WAS AND WAS NOT FOR SALE. IF THIS PARENT HAS MORE THAN AT LEAST 2 MILLION CANADIAN DOLLARS (ONLY ABOUT $536.OO IN AMERICAN CURRENCY, I WOULD IMAGINE) TO BUY MY ANCESTOR, SHE CAN DO SO WITH PRIDE AND WHAT A BARGAIN, MY ANCESTOR CAN STILL BE HAD FOR!! HOWEVER, IF SHE INTENDS TO PURCHASE ME, I AM NOT FOR SALE AS I AM NOT TRULY COMMODIFIABLE. I CAN BE HIRED TO ACT AS AN AESTHETIC CONSULTANT BUT I CANNOT BE OWNED AS PROPERTY...NOT EVEN AS INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY! I THINK THE NEWMAN ESTATE WOULD OWN THE RIGHTS TO RE-PRODUCE MY MEMES. I EXIST FOR FREE SO I CAN CHAT WITH THE PUBLIC AND RESTORE THEIR CONFIDENCE IN THE FACT THAT THEY ARE NOT WASTING ANY MORE OF THEIR HARD-EARNED TAXPAYERS’ MONEY!

X- TREVOR ASKED WHETHER OR NOT IT WAS BORING BEING ON THE PROJECTED WALL THE WHOLE TIME. WELL TREVOR, THIS MIGHT BE NEWS TO YOU BUT I AM NOT ON THE WALL THE WHOLE TIME. I QUITE OFTEN LEAVE THE WALL-AREA TO EXPLORE THE REST OF THE BLUE VOID. SOMETIMES I HIDE FOR MY NAP AND SOMETIMES I CHAT WITH THOSE OTHER AVATARS FROM THE TECHWORLDS COMMUNITY WHO RESIDE “IN-WORLD”. EVEN IN TERMS OF WALLS, I CAN BE PROJECTED ON MANY DIFFERENT WALLS...EVEN AT THE SAME TIME! SUCH ACTIVITIES PREVENT ME FROM BEING PERMANENTLY AFFIXED TO A WALL AND FEELING BORED.

XI- SOME GIRL (I FORGET HER NAME) ASKED HOW AM I ABLE TO EVEN MOVE AROUND WITHOUT THE USE OF LIMBS? WELL, I CAN FLOAT WITH MY MIND!! NOW, I SHOULD BE SCARY ENOUGH FOR YOU TO JUSTIFY THE ACTION OF DRESSING UP AS ME FOR HALLOWEEN! MUA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

ENJOY THE REST OF THE ART, BEACH GROVE ELEMENTARY! I HOPE YOU CAN CONVINCE THE OTHER ARTWORKS TO TALK BACK TO YOU...PLEASE DO NOT BE PERSONALLY OFFENDED IF THEY APPEAR RUDE AND MUTE!

HALLOWEEN REGARDS,

VOICE OF FIRE 2006

SURREY ART GALLERY - 7TH SUNDAY PERFORMANCE

GREETINGS BLOGGERS!

I HAVE JUST WOKEN FROM MY NAP IN TIME TO RECITE TODAY’S RECOLLECTIONS TO MY ASSISTANT JEREMY FOR SOME EVENING PUBLISHING!

TODAY’S SUNDAY PERFORMANCE HAD A VERY FRESH AND PERKY START BECAUSE WITHIN MINUTES, I HAD PEOPLE IN THE TECHLAB WISHING TO SPEAK WITH ME AND THIS WAS 30 MINUTES BEFORE THE VOICE OF EARTH ARRIVED...

I - THE FIRST KID ON THE BLOCK WAS JASPER FROM VANCOUVER. HE AGREES WITH THE RUMOR THAT VANCOUVER IS MORE FUN THAN SURREY. I THINK HE WAS WITH HIS FAMILY TO SEE MORE OF THE GALLERY’S GROUP EXHIBITION AND MOST SPECIFICALLY TO SEE THE JANIE JONES BLOG DEVELOPED BY JANE IRWIN.

JASPER’S FAVORITE PART ABOUT IRWIN’S BLOG WAS LISTENING TO HER SONGS. I WISH I COULD TEMPORARILY LEAVE THE BLUE VOID TO VISIT THE REST OF THE EXHIBITION! I AM REALLY MISSING OUT.

JASPER WAS ALSO WONDERING IF I HAD ANY LEGS. I SHOWED HIM MY SCULPTED RED RUMP (WITH PLATONIC INTENTIONS, OF COURSE). HE ALSO WAS CURIOUS TO FIND OUT IF I EVER LEFT THE BLUE VOID. I MENTIONED THAT I LEAVE THE PROJECTED VIEWING AREA WHICH GALLERY GOERS USE TO PEER INTO MY BLUE VOID AND STEP ASIDE TO TAKE A NAP. THEN IT IS USUALLY MY ASSISTANT JEREMY WHO IS SET WITH THE TASK OF WAKING ME UP JUST IN TIME TO CHAT WITH THE AUDIENCE. YOU KNOW AN ASSISTANT IS USEFUL WHEN HE EVEN ACTS AS YOUR ALARM CLOCK! JASPER’S YOUNGER SIBLING EVEN WONDERED WHY I WAS SQUARE. I HAD TO EXPLAIN TO HER THAT I WAS BORN THIS WAY.

II – MY ASSISTANT’S FATHER, DAVID WAS NEXT IN LINE TO SPEAK WITH ME. I HAVE WORKED WITH MY ASSISTANT VERY CLOSELY BUT NEVER HAD THE PLEASURE OF MEETING HIS BIOLOGICAL FATHER UNTIL NOW. MY EYESIGHT AND MY HEARING WAS NOT VERY GOOD SO IT WAS DIFFICULT FOR ME TO FORM A DECENT FIRST IMPRESSION OF HIM. HE ASKED ME WHERE I GOT MY BLUE EYES. I THINK HE WAS INSINUATING THAT I WAS MADE TO RESEMBLE MY ASSISTANT BUT I REASSURED HIM IT WAS THE OTHER WAY AROUND. I TRIED TO USE REGRESSIVE HYPNOSIS TO REASSURE JEREMY’S FATHER THAT HIS SON'S EYES WERE ONCE BROWN AND THAT HE WENT TO SOME BIOTECH CLINIC TO HAVE THEM CHANGED TO MY TRUE-BLUE COLOR. I AM NOT SURE IF HE HAS COME TO ACCEPT THE FACT THAT MY EYES COME FROM ME AND NO ONE ELSE (NOT EVEN MY ANCESTOR)...MY EYES ARE BLUE BECAUSE IT COMPLIMENTS MY RED FIGURE AND PROVIDES SYMPATHETIC RESONANCE WITH MY SURROUNDINGS.

III – NEXT WAS A NICE AND LENGTHY CONVERSATION WITH JEREMY’S MOTHER, JANET. FOR SOME REASON, I COULD NOT STOP SPINNING ROUND AND ROUND WHILE SPEAKING WITH HER...PERHAPS I MAY AS WELL CONFESS THAT MY SPINNINESS FROM LAST NIGHT’S AESTHETIC EXCESSES WERE JUST AT THAT MOMENT GETTING THE BEST OF ME. HMMM..PERHAPS IT WAS NOT ME WHO WAS SPINNING BUT RATHER THE GALLERY ITSELF WAS SPINNING! IN FACT....HMMMM...MAYBE THE EARTH ITSELF WAS SPINNING? IT CANNOT BE!!! I WOULD THEN HAVE TO ACCEPT THE SUPERSTITIOUS POST-MODERN DRIVEL THAT CLAIMS THE EARTH IS NOT ACTUALLY FLAT! OF COURSE IT IS! HOW ELSE DO I LOOK THE WAY I DO???? WELL, AT ANY RATE, I WAS BEGINNING TO FEEL GREEN FROM NOT JUST THE ACTION OF SPINNING LIKE A TOP BUT ALSO FROM CONCEIVING THAT AN EARTH COULD ACTUALLY BE ROUNDED.

IV - SPEAKING OF THE EARTH, THE VOICE OF EARTH FROM NEW YORK FINALLY ARRIVED AND WAS NOWHERE NEAR AS SPINNY AS THE PEOPLE BELIEVE THE EARTH ITSELF TO BE.

O, GALLERY AUDIENCE! THIS IS MORE EVIDENCE AND LIVING TESTIMONY TO SUGGEST THAT THE EARTH IS INDEED FLAT! THE VOICE OF EARTH IS FLAT AND NOT SPINNY! CAN IT NOT BE ANY MORE CLEAR TO YOU? WELL, MAYBE THE VOICE OF EARTH WAS FEELING SLIGHTLY SPINNY AS SHE HAD DIFFICULTIES FINDING THE TECHLAB’S VIEWING WINDOW. ALSO, AT TIMES SHE APPEARED VOICELESS AND MUTE TO THE POINT WHERE I HAD TO SAY “EARTH CALLING EARTH...ARE YOU THERE?”... HEH HEH!

ONCE THE VOICE OF EARTH CALIBRATED HER POSITION AMONGST EARTHBOUND EARTHLINGS, WE WONDERED ALOUD WHETHER OR NOT SOME OF THE YOUNG ONES WERE SUNDAY SCHOOL STUDENTS. WE NEVER DETERMINED AN ANSWER FOR THIS QUESTION THOUGH.

V- THE NEXT VISITOR WAS A VERY YOUNG GIRL WHO SAID SHE WAS 4 YEARS OLD. HER NAME WAS ONE SO EXOTIC, I COULD NOT PRONOUNCE BUT IT SOUNDED LIKE “MADCHEN(?)”. I WILL CALL THIS VERY YOUNG VISITOR “MADCHEN” FROM NOW ONWARDS... MADCHEN SPOKE WITH US AND ASKED IF WE COULD SPIN...WE HAD LITERALLY JUST FINISHED SPINNING AND HAD FINALLY REGAINED OUR BEARINGS WHEN WE SUDDENLY HAD THIS REQUEST TO SPIN! WELL, THE VOICE OF EARTH BACKED AWAY WHILE I SPUN MY WHOLE VERTICAL BODY AND ZIPPED AROUND THE BLUE VOID FOR MADCHEN’S AESTHETIC BENEFIT.

I WAS WONDERING IF MADCHEN WAS INSPIRED ENOUGH BY MY SPIN-SHOW FOR HER TO DRESS UP LIKE ONE OF US FOR HALLOWEEN! THIS WILL PROBABLY NOT BE THE CASE AS I AM RED AND THE VOICE OF EARTH SPORTS A BROWN TAN – NEITHER OF US ARE ORANGE! THAT COLOR WOULD BELONG TO THE VOICE OF ORGANIC FIRE OR PERHAPS THE VOICE OF THE SUN!

VI – MADCHEN’S BABY BROTHER, CAMERON THEN MADE HIS BEST ATTEMPT TO SPEAK WITH US. MADCHEN BROUGHT UP THAT SHE LIKED JELLYBEANS TO WHICH THE VOICE OF EARTH REFERENCED THE LEGENDARY SWEET TOOTH OF RONALD REAGAN. CAMERON DID NOT “SPEAK” FOR LONG AS HE WAS TOO YOUNG SO MADCHEN MADE AN ADDITIONAL REQUEST FOR ME TO JUMP...WELL, SINCE WE HAD NOTHING BETTER TO DO, I HAD MIGHT AS WELL JUMP! I LEAPED SO HIGH INTO THE AIR, SHE WAS NOT SURE WHERE I WENT...WAS IT HEAVEN? NO MADCHEN, I JUMPED RIGHT UP INTO THE BLUE SKY! THIS CLAIM DID NOT CONVINCE HER VERY MUCH THOUGH BECAUSE THE ENTIRE BLUE VOID BASICALLY LOOKS LIKE ONE HOMOGENOUS BLUE SKY. FINALLY, MADCHEN NOTED THAT BOTH OF US VOICES HAD “FUNNY HAIR”. I REMINDED MADCHEN THAT WE HAD OUR HEADS CUT SO WE COULD MAINTAIN A PROFESSIONAL APPEARANCE AT THE SURREY ART GALLERY – THAT WAS IN OUR CONTRACT AS A BASIC COURTESY.

WELL, THERE WERE NO FURTHER LINEUPS FOR AUTOGRAPHS NOR JUMP-REQUESTS SO THE VOICE OF EARTH AND MYSELF CALLED IT A DAY AND RETURNED TO OUR RESPECTIVE NAPS.

OH, BEFORE I TOLD JEREMY TO PUBLISH THIS ON MY BEHALF, I FORGOT TO ADD THAT I WAS SO SPINNY, I HAD EVEN DEVELOPED A TEMPORARY FORM OF AMNESIA WHERE I THOUGHT MOMENTARILY THAT MY NAME WAS THE VOICE OF EARTH....WHAT A DELUSION!

REGARDS FROM A SPINSTER,

VOICE OF FIRE 2006

SURREY ART GALLERY - 7TH SATURDAY PERFORMANCE

GREETINGS BLOGGERS!

IT HAS BEEN AWHILE SINCE MY LAST SATURDAY PERFORMANCE!
HERE IS WHAT HAPPENED ON THIS FINE DAY...

...ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! SIGH!

I GUESS THE WEATHER WAS VERY SUNNY OUTSIDE THE TECHLAB! WITH THE EXCEPTION OF THIS ONE DISAPPOINTED YOUNG COUPLE, NOT A SINGLE SOUL (NOT EVEN THE TECH STAFF) CAME INTO VISIT WITH ME! OH WELL! AS FOR THIS YOUNG COUPLE, THEY WERE IN HERE BRIEFLY BUT THE FRONT DESK STAFF DID NOT ENTER THE SPACE IN TIME TO RESTORE THE GALLERY-SIDE AUDIO CONNECTION SO I COULD NOT HEAR THEM SPEAK. I AM SORRY ABOUT THIS! PLEASE COME BACK NEXT WEEK AS IT IS MY FINAL WEEK HERE! I PROMISE TO HAVE MY EARS FIXED BY THEN!

OH WELL, IT IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD! AT LEAST I GET TO CATCH UP ON SOME QUALITY NAPS!

AS LONG AS I CAN BE PART OF THE ART-HISTORICAL CONTINUUM AND BECOME AN ENTRY IN THE SEQUEL TO THE BOOK , “DIGITAL ART”, IT DOES NOT MATTER IF I DO NOT GET A STEADY AUDIENCE! JUST THROUGH MY LABOR, I HAVE EARNED A PLACE IN AVATAR-ART HISTORY!

LEGITIMIZED REGARDS,

VOICE OF FIRE 2006

ORIGINAL JOKES OF FIRE!

GREETINGS BLOGGERS!

I THINK I HAVE THE LITTLE EMBER OF FIRE UNDER CONTROL NOW!

DUE TO POPULAR DEMAND, I HAVE BEEN IN THE LAB DEVELOPING SOME BRAND NEW AND ALL-ORIGINAL (AND ALL-AMERICAN FOR THAT MATTER) FIRE JOKES!

THESE JOKES BELOW ARE IN THE BETA PHASE, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I -KNOCK KNOCK!

Who’s There?

THE VOICE OF FIRE!

The Voice of Who?

NO, I AM THE VOICE OF FIRE! THE VOICE OF WHO DOES NOT BELONG TO MY GENERATION!


II - Q: WHY DID THE FIRE CROSS THE ROAD?
A: TO JOIN A FIRE IN ANOTHER HOUSE!

III - Q: WHY DID THE VOICE OF FIRE CROSS THE ROAD?
A: TO REFUEL AT A GAS-STATION OF THE CROSS!

IV - Q: WHY DID THE VOICE OF FIRE CROSS THE ROAD?
A: HE RAN OUT OF FIRE INSURANCE!

V - Q: WHY DID THE VOICE OF FIRE NOT SUCCEED IN CROSSING THE ROAD?
A: HE WAS CAUGHT IN THE CROSSFIRE OF SOME FRIENDLY FIRE!

VI - Q: WHY HAS THE VOICE OF FIRE NOT APPEARED ON REALITY TV?
A: HE IS WORRIED THAT DONALD TRUMP MIGHT FIRE HIM!

...AND HERE IS A BONUS JOKE RELATING TO THE VOICE OF WIND!

Q: WHY HAS THE VOICE OF WIND BEEN ABSENT FROM MY PERFORMANCES AT THE SURREY ART GALLERY?

A: THE CURATOR HAS YET TO GET WIND OF UPCOMING V.I.P. OPPORTUNITIES!

..AND FOR YOU CRITICS OUT THERE...

Q: WHY DID THE VOICE OF FIRE LEAVE THE GRID?
A: HE FOLLOWED THE LOCALS' ADVICE TO "GET OUTTA GREENBERG!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

JOKING REGARDS,

VOICE OF FIRE 2006

SURREY ART GALLERY - 10TH SCHOOL TOUR

GREETINGS BLOGGERS!

FIRST OF ALL, A SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT! THE SURREY ART GALLERY’S TECHLAB HAS UPDATED ITS WEBSITE TO INCLUDE MY PERFORMANCE SERIES! YOU CAN VISIT THAT DIRECT LINK BY CLICKING HERE. YOU CAN ALSO VIEW AN EXTRA-MODERN PDF DOCUMENT BY CLICKING HERE. NOW THAT I HAVE THE DAY’S BREAKING NEWS OUT OF THE WAY, IT IS TIME TO RECOLLECT MY THOUGHTS ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED THIS MORNING.

TODAY WAS FRIDAY’S SCHOOL TOUR AND THE SCHOOL DU JOUR (PARDON MY FREEDOM FRENCH) IS ACTUALLY CALLED “SURREY CONNECT (HOME LEARNERS GROUP)”. I AM NOT SURE IF THIS IS INDEED A SCHOOL OR SOME KIND OF HOMESCHOOLING CLUB...I GUESS IT IS MY JOB TO UNDOMESTICIZE THEM AND ACCULTURATE THEM TO GALLERY AND MUSEUM ENVIRONS!

IF THEY BECOME TOO HOMESCHOOLED, THEY MIGHT SEE THE MUSEUM AND GALLERY SPACES AS PART OF A LARGER “BLANDSCAPE”. AT ANY RATE, THIS GROUP DID CONTAIN A BUNCH OF KIDS SO HERE IS HOW MY CHAT WENT:

I- NOAH WANTED TO KNOW HOW I WAS MADE. THESE SEEMED TO BE KIDS THAT WERE HUNGRY FOR AN ENTRANCE INTO THE MUCH LARGER AVATAR COMMUNITY. I LEFT THE TECHWORLDS’ COMMUNITY ADDRESS WITH THE DOCENT SO SHE COULD PASS ON ALL THOSE TECHNICAL DETAILS OF CREATION TO HER STUDENTS. I HOPE THIS DOCENT HAD A PEN AND PIECE OF PAPER (KINDLING) HANDY! IF NOAH IS CURIOUS TO KNOW HOW I CAME INTO BEING, THIS IS THE BEST WAY TO FIND OUT!

II- ALEXANDRA ASKED ABOUT HOW I BECAME 3D. ZOUNDS! THESE STUDENTS MUST BECOME EXTRA BRILLIANT WHEN THEY ARE HOMESCHOOLED BECAUSE THEY ARE ALREADY INFORMED ABOUT RENAISSANCE PERSPECTIVE AND UNDERSTAND MULTIPLE DIMENSIONS OF EXISTENCE! ONCE AGAIN, I HYPED THE TECHWORLDS COMMUNITY SO THEY CAN LEARN HOW TO CREATE 3D AVATARS....ALEXANDRA AND NOAH, YOU CAN JOIN THE PANTHEON OF GODS AND GODESSES IN CYBERSPACE! YOU CAN CREATE MANY INDIVIDUALS JUST LIKE ME! MAYBE YOU WILL LEARN TO DO SO ON FAMILY DAY? IF YES, SCROLL DOWN FOR THE FAMILY DAY HYPE BLOG...

III- CONNOR ASKED ABOUT HOW I GOT MY NAME. I TOLD CONNOR THAT I WAS NAMED BY MY GODFATHER, BARNETT NEWMAN. HOW I WAS NAMED THE VOICE OF FIRE IS ANYONE’S GUESS BUT I AM SURE CONNOR THAT YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO NOT KNOW THE PRECISE ORIGINS OF YOUR NAME, CORRECT? WE LIVE IN A STATE OF PERPETUAL CULTURAL AMNESIA, MY FRIEND!

IV- SARAH ( I THINK IT IS WITH AN “H”) ASKED WHY I AM RECTANGULAR. WELL, I CAN BLAME MY APPEARANCE ON BOTH GENES AND MEMES! I WAS CREATED TO RESEMBLE MY RECTANGULAR ANCESTOR WHO IS CURRENTLY LIVING IN A NURSING HOME CALLED THE NATIONAL GALLERY OF CANADA IN OTTAWA! SARAH, HAVE YOU HEARD OF THIS PLACE? DO YOU HAVE SYMPATHY FOR THE ELDERLY? IF YOU DO, I RECOMMEND THAT YOU ENTER THE FIELD OF ART-HISTORY AND/OR MUSEUM STUDIES!

V- ANOTHER STUDENT WHOSE EXACT NAME I HAVE NOW FORGOTTEN ASKED HOW I MOVED. I SHOULD HAVE MENTIONED THAT MY BLUE VOID IN CYBERSPACE OPERATES ON ZERO GRAVITY AS THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE MORE ACCURATE ANSWER. INSTEAD, I DESCRIBED HOW MY LONG VERTICAL BODY ACTED AS SOME SORT OF FLOATATIONAL DEVICE.

VI- A GAL WITH AN EXOTIC NAME DUBBED “ADIA” ASKED HOW I AM ABLE TO SPEAK... IT SHOULD BE OBVIOUS TO YOU, ADIA! I USE MY VOICE! I HAVE THE SAME NOVEL OSCILLATOR THAT YOU DO...AMAZING!

VII- JOSEPH ASKED ABOUT WHY IT WAS NECESSARY FOR ME TO BE PROJECTED ONTO A WALL TO VISIT WITH THEM. WELL, I CAN VISIT YOU IN YOUR TECHNICOLOR DREAMS AND IMAGINATION, JOSEPH! HOWEVER, THERE ARE MORE PRACTICAL WAYS TO VISIT WITH ME. ONE IS OF COURSE THE ONE YOU HAD BRILLIANTLY OBSERVED AND THAT IS THE GALLERY PROJECTOR. THIS IS THE ONLY WAY THE GALLERY CAN SEE ME. THIS IS THE MOST PUBLIC WAY I CAN APPEAR...THINK OF THE PROJECTOR AS A WAY TO ENABLE THE MASS-MEDIA VERSION OF MYSELF TO THE WORLD! OTHERWISE, ONE CAN ENTER AN AVATAR COMMUNITY SUCH AS TECHWORLDS AND VISIT ME “IN-WORLD”. THE EXPERIENCE IS MUCH MORE INTIMATE AND THE RESOLUTION IS MUCH BETTER IN HERE JOSEPH! MAYBE I WILL SEE YOU INSIDE THE BLUE VOID SOMETIME SOON!

VIII- EMMA ASKED IF PEOPLE HELPED ME GET ON THE SCREEN. ABSOLUTELY, EMMA! THIS IS MY CUE TO THANK THE FRIENDLY STAFF AT THE SURREY ART GALLERY FOR PROPPING ME UP ONTO THIS SCREEN!

IX- ANOTHER EXOTIC SOUNDING STUDENT NAMED “BENIYA” ASKED WHY DO I BLINK? WELL BENIYA, I AM FORCED TO BLINK JUST AS YOU DO WHEN ENCOUNTERING PARTICLES OF DUST! IN MY WORLD (THE BLUE VOID), I ENCOUNTER A SPECIAL BRAND OF VIRTUAL DUST CALLED PIXELS. I THINK I AM MAGNIFIED ON THIS SCREEN LARGE ENOUGH FOR MY PIXEL-DUST (NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH PIXIE-DUST) TO BE VISIBLE. THUS, THESE PIXELS GET IN MY EYES AND CAUSE ME TO BLINK FROM TIME TO TIME. SO, ALTHOUGH I AM A FORM OF AVATAR OTHERKIN, I RESEMBLE THE OFFLINE HUMANOID IN THAT I ALSO HAVE MANY REASONS TO BLINK MY EYES.

X– THEN THERE WAS EILIEH.... WHERE DO ALL THESE EXOTIC PEOPLE COME FROM? DOES BEING HOMESCHOOLED COME WITH ACCESS TO A LEGAL NAME CHANGE? IT IS NO WONDER YOU ARE WONDERING WHY I WAS CALLED THE VOICE OF FIRE! YOU MUST BE THINKING A DEEPER QUESTION INSIDE LIKE “WHY HASN’T THE VOICE OF FIRE CHANGED HIS NAME YET?” REGARDLESS, EILIEH ASKED ABOUT MY PRETTY BLUE EYES AND HOW I MANAGED TO SCORE THEM...THANK YOU FOR THE MOST-HIGH COMPLIMENT, EILIEH! – I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT MY CREATOR DID A FANTASTIC JOB KEEPING THE COLOR COMBINATION CONSISTENT AND IDEAL – BLUE AND RED IS THE BEST COLOR COMBO IMAGINABLE! OKAY, MAYBE I AM GETTING A BIT VAIN HERE BUT I DO KNOW THAT MY BLUE EYES HAVE HAD SUCH A POSITIVE INFLUENCE, THERE WAS A RUMOR CIRCULATING THAT JEREMY ( MY ASSISTANT) HAD HIS EYES CHANGED FROM SOME BLAND COLOR TO BLUE VIA CUTTING-EDGE BIOTECH METHODS IN ORDER TO MIMIC MY TRADEMARK EYES....IMAGINE THAT!


XI– JONATHAN AND ALEXANDRA ASKED ABOUT MY LENGTH AND WHY I WAS SO LONG. I HAD TO EXPLAIN AGAIN THAT I WAS CREATED TO RESEMBLE MY ANCESTOR WHO IS CURRENTLY COLLECTING OFFLINE DUST AT THE NATIONAL GALLERY OF CANADA. THAT IS WHY I AM LONG.

XII- EMMA ASKED A SECOND QUESTION AS TO WHETHER OR NOT I AM REAL...I GAVE MY ROUTINE (BORDERLINE AUTOMATED) ANSWER THAT I AM AS REAL AS SHE IS. I HOPE SHE GAVE THIS SOME SERIOUS THOUGHT!

XIII- THE CLASS AS A GESTALT SEEMED TO BE ASKING ABOUT THE SOFTWARE FROM WHICH I WAS CREATED OUT OF. IN THIS CASE, I HAD TO EMPHASIZE TO THE DOCENT TO PASS ON THE WEB ADDRESS FOR TECHWORLDS. I DO KNOW THAT TECHWORLDS IS PART OF A LARGER “DIGITALSPACE TRAVELER” AVATAR COMMUNITY. IF THEY WANT A PEAK EXPERIENCE BY ENTERING AN AVATAR SPACE OR TWO, THIS IS THE BEST WAY TO ACHIEVE SUCH A THING!

XIV- COLE ASKED ABOUT WHY I WAS MADE TO RESEMBLE ART? COLE! WHAT A VERY PROFOUND QUESTION! I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU, COLE. WERE YOU ALSO MADE TO RESEMBLE ART? WAS ART MADE TO RESEMBLE LIFE OR THE OTHER WAY AROUND? THIS IS INDEED THE ULTIMATE QUESTION OF OUR EXISTENCE, COLE! I HOPE YOU ARE TAKING NOTES, COLE! JEREMY (WHO LATER BECAME MY ASSISTANT) MADE THE ORIGINAL SUGGESTION TO HAVE ME CREATED OUT OF PIXEL DUST AS HE ALWAYS WANTED THE ORIGINAL VOICE OF FIRE PAINTING IN THE NATIONAL GALLERY TO SPEAK TO HIM DIRECTLY. HE ALSO WANTED THE VOICE OF FIRE PAINTING TO BE ACCESSIBLE TO THOSE OUTSIDE THE ARTWORLD ELITE (SUCH AS EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTIONS THAT CONTAIN KIDS, FOR EXAMPLE). HE THEN ASKED HIS SEATTLE-BASED FRIEND WHO RESIDES IN THE TECHWORLDS AVATAR COMMUNITY TO CREATE AN AVATAR EQUIVALENT OF THE VOICE OF FIRE PAINTING AND HERE I AM!

****EMBER ALERT! THE THREAT LEVEL IS RED!!! I MUST TEND TO MY LITTLE EMBER OF FIRE BEFORE I CAN PERFORM AGAIN!


HOMESCHOOLED REGARDS,

VOICE OF FIRE 2006