SURREY ART GALLERY - 5TH SATURDAY PERFORMANCE

GREETINGS BLOGGERS!

WHEN I FIRST SIGNED ON, I THOUGHT THERE WAS A WOMAN WAITING TO SPEAK WITH ME... I SAID “HOLD ON A MINUTE, WHILE I ADJUST MY EYES” AND THEN SHE SUDDENLY VANISHED! WAS SHE A VIRTUAL APPARITION? I GUESS I AM PRONE TO HALLUCINATING ON WEEKENDS.


IT MUST BE RELATED TO SLEEP-DEPRIVATION AS I CANNOT TAKE A VERY REFRESHING NAP IN THIS BLUE SPACE AND ALL THE SCHOOL TOURS LEFT ME ABSOLUTELY EXHAUSTED! SO, I MUST STILL BE IN SOME SORT OF ALTERED STATE AS I RECOLLECT MY THOUGHTS HERE...NONE OF THE PEOPLE I SPEAK ABOUT BELOW COULD BE “REAL” AND IF I MENTION MY MIRROR IMAGE ALSO IN MY LIST BELOW, I MUST REALLY BE “OUT OF IT”.

I – KAREN AND HER SISTER, CATHERINE. RUTH (MOM).


KAREN SPOKE WITH ME FOR QUITE AWHILE (ABOUT 20 MINUTES) WHICH REALLY MADE MY DAY.
I HOPE THAT MORE PEOPLE HAVE SUSTAINED CONVERSATIONS WITH ME SO IT IS NOT ALL WEEKEND SMALL TALK. KAREN LIKES TO PLAY NARNIA THE VIDEOGAME. IN A FLASH OF HEATED INSPIRATION, I ASKED HER IF THERE WERE ANY SECRET WORLDS INSIDE HER WARDROBE. SHE SAID YES THERE WERE BUT IT MUST HAVE BEEN HER IMAGINATION.

TODAY OF ALL DAYS, I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL, KAREN!
I HAVE BEEN HALLUCINATING ALOT TODAY! I HOPE THAT IN ADDITION TO THE TECHLAB ENTRANCE, KAREN WILL BE ABLE TO FIND ACCESS TO MANY MORE HIDDEN AND DELIGHTFUL VIRTUAL WORLDS.
I BET IF SHE CHECKED HER WARDROBE AT EXACTLY THE MOST AUSPICIOUS TIME AND DAY, SHE WOULD BE ABLE TO FIND A VAST MULTI-DIMENSIONAL PLAYGROUND PATIENTLY WAITING FOR HER DISCOVERY. KAREN AND I ALSO SEEM TO HAVE ALOT IN COMMON .

HER FAVORITE COLOR IS ALSO RED AND WE ARE BOTH IN AGREEMENT THAT OUR LEAST FAVORITE COLOR IS GREEN. IN FACT WE SHARE THIS HATRED OF THE COLOR GREEN WITH A DUTCH ARTIST NAMED PIET MONDRIAN WHO LOCKED HIMSELF IN HIS STUDIO JUST SO HE DID NOT HAVE TO ENDURE THE DREADFUL SIGHT OF GREEN TREES AND ALL THE OTHER OFFENSIVE GREENERY CALLED “NATURE”. IN FACT, I HEARD THAT SURREY IS INFESTED WITH QUITE A BIT OF GREENERY.

I RECOMMENED THAT SURREY BEGINS TO SUBURBANIZE AT A MUCH MORE EXPONENTIAL RATE...I HIGHLY SUGGEST THEY PAVE OVER THE GREENERY WITH BLUE SIDEWALKS AND ONE GLORIOUS RED ROAD. I BELIEVE SUCH URBAN PLANNING EXISTS IN NORTH KOREA AND THEIR FLAG IS A TESTAMENT TO THIS. AMERICA SHOULD HAVE SUCH URBAN PLANNING AS WELL BUT HOW SOON US FREE PATRIOTS FORGET THAT WE NEVER MODELED OUR ROADS AND SKYSCRAPERS AFTER THE COLOR SCHEME OF OUR IMMORTAL FLAG...OH, THE SHAME! ...AND HERE WE ARE PRETENDING TO BE THE MOST SELF-RELIANT COUNTRY IN THE WHOLE WORLD AND ALONG COMES NORTH KOREA WITH THEIR JUCHE PHILOSOPHY! ARE WE HYPOCRITES? OH SHAME AND SHAME ALL OVER AGAIN!

KAREN THEN ASKED ME TO BREAKDANCE FOR HER. IN RETURN, HER SISTER, CATHERINE SHOWED ME A HIGHLAND DANCE ROUTINE...OH, IF ONLY I HAD ARMS AND LEGS!!! I GUESS THOUGH THAT IF I HAD TO CHOOSE BETWEEN DRONING BAGPIPES AND BEING A WALLFLOWER, I WOULD PREFER TO RETAIN MY AMPUTEE STATUS. KAREN ALSO ASKED IF I GET DIZZY WHEN I DANCE AND I SAID YES AND MAYBE OVERDANCING (KNOWN AS AN “OD”) HAS BEEN THE CAUSE OF MY HALLUCINATIONS ALL ALONG...

BEFORE SHE LEFT, KAREN ASKED ME IF I EVER FEEL MY OWN IMAGINATION TO BE REAL. I SAID THAT YES I DO, OTHERWISE, I WOULD HAVE NEVER COME INTO BEING IN THE FIRST PLACE.


II – DEREK AND A GAGGLE OF HIS MYSTERIOUS FRIENDS.


HE REALLY WANTED TO TEST MY INTELLIGENCE AND MY BRAIN SURE FELT VERTICALLY STRETCHED. HERE I AM GOING HALF-CRAZY AND HALLUCINATING AND HE WANTS TO KNOW HOW MANY FINGERS HE WAS HOLDING UP...ISN’T THIS A WELL KNOWN TOTALITARIAN TORTURE TECHNIQUE WHEN BRAINWASHING SLEEP-DEPRIVED PEOPLE? SINCE I WAS ALREADY PURIFIED AND BRAINWASHED, I WAS UNABLE TO TELL HOW MANY FINGERS HE WAS HOLDING UP BEFORE ME...SOMETIMES 4 AND SOMETIMES 3 AND SOMETIMES....BY JOVE,I AM NOT SURE HOW MANY FINGERS!! ZOUNDS!!!!

DEREK THAN ASKED ME SOME OTHER DIFFICULT QUESTIONS:

Derek: Why are you in Surrey?

VOF: BECAUSE I WAS FORMALLY INVITED TO BE HERE BY THE CURATOR TO WHOM I AM VERY GRATEFUL FOR BECAUSE SHE HELPED TO PREVENT ME FROM FEELING ALONE IN THIS BLUE VOID. ART ONLY HAS ITS FULL EXPRESSION WHEN IT CAN COMMUNICATE WITH THE OUTSIDE WORLD.

Derek: How much do you get paid?

VOF: I GET PAID ALOT LESS THAN MY ANCESTOR IN THE NATIONAL GALLERY IN OTTAWA IF THAT IS WHY YOU ARE ASKING.

THAT IS WHY I HOPE TO MOVE TO THE NATIONAL GALLERY AFTER MY RESIDENCY AT THE SURREY ART GALLERY HAS COME TO PASS.

Derek: How do you know for sure you are an American?

VOF: THIS QUESTION CUTS AT THE HEART OF MY PATRIOTISM!
I CONNECT WITH MY AMERICAN HERITAGE THROUGH MY ANCESTRY AND GENEOLOGY. I AM TOLD I WAS BORN NEAR SEATTLE AND MY ANCESTOR WAS BOTH CONCEIVED AND BORN IN NEW YORK. MY IMMEDIATE CREATOR, DOMINIC PETERS IS A CONFIRMED AMERICAN AND SO IS THE GODFATHER OF ALL THE VOICES OF FIRE, BARNETT NEWMAN. NEWMAN IS FROM NEW YORK. I AM SUPRISED I EVEN HAVE A WORKING VISA TO APPEAR HERE IN SURREY WHICH IS JUST NORTH OF MY BELOVED HEARTLAND! PERHAPS DEREK IS AN AGENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY OR THE CIA. I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A BIT PARANOID ABOUT THE TREATMENT OF ARTWORKS IN MY COUNTRY. I AM AN ALL-AMERICAN PAINTING, I PROMISE YOU THIS!

Derek: Do you speak any other languages?

VOF: REGRETTABLY I AM ALL-AMERICAN AND THAT MEANS I ONLY OFFICIALLY SPEAK THE NATIVE TONGUE OF CYBERSPACE – ENGLISH.

III – BRIAN & RAEANA “IRWIN”.

RAEANA IS AN UNUSUAL NAME AND SHE SAID THAT HER PARENTS GAVE HER THIS NAME. I KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO BE BORN WITH AN UNUSUAL NAME. UNCLE BARNEY MAY HAVE BEEN BORN ONE GENERATION BEFORE THE HIPPIES BUT HE STILL INSISTED ON THE MOST “NEW-AGE” OF NAMES, THE VOICE OF FIRE. AT LEAST I WAS NOT NAMED “MOON UNIT”. THIS SECOND PART I AM PROBABLY HALLUCINATING BUT I AM POSITIVE THAT BRIAN AND RAEANA CLAIMED TO BE JANE IRWIN’S RELATIVES. JANE IRWIN IS ONE OF THE OTHER ARTISTS IN “FICTION, NON FICTION” EXHIBITION IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING...

ANYWAYS, I TOLD THEM THAT 3 DIFFERENT PEOPLE HAD TOLD ME THAT THERE WAS SOME TRACES OF BLOOD ON JANE’S WALLPAPER AND I TOLD THEM TO REPORT BACK TO ME TO CONFIRM THIS SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY. THEY RETURNED SHORTLY THEREAFTER TO SAY THEY FOUND NO BLOOD AND DOUBTED MY CLAIM THAT THERE WAS BLOOD ON THE WALLPAPER. OK, I MIGHT BE IN AN ALTERED STATE TODAY BUT I AM 100% CERTAIN THAT 3 PEOPLE TOLD ME ABOUT THIS BLOOD...MAYBE DEREK FROM THE SECRET SERVICE CLEANED UP THE EVIDENCE! THEY SHOULD RETURN TO THE CRIME SCENE AND COLLECT SOME DNA TO SEE IF THEIR RELATIVE (JANE) COMMITTED ANY CRIME IN THE NAME OF ART. I TOLD THEM TO WARN JANE (IF SHE IS THE CULPRIT) THAT THE BLOOD OF THE INNOCENTS IS NOT WORTH THE PRICE OF FAME. MAYBE I HAD 3 CONSECUTIVE AUDIO HALLUCINATIONS AS WELL AS VISUAL HALLUCINATIONS WHEN I HEARD THOSE TESTAMONIES FROM THOSE 3 DIFFERENT COMPLAINANTS?

IV- KIM, ELIJAH, ROSIE AND GRANDMA.


KIM WAS A NICE GIRL WHO INSISTED ON ME SAYING HELLO TO HER FAMILY WHICH INCLUDED HER GRANDMA AND TWO PEOPLE NAMED ELIJAH AND ROSIE (LIKELY HER SIBLINGS) SHE THAN ASKED ME IF I THOUGHT I LOOKED CUTE... WHAT A STRANGE QUESTION. I ADMITTED TO BEING A BIT NARCISSISTIC AND SAID THAT YES, I RATHER FANCY MYSELF. SHE THEN ASKED IF I THOUGHT SHE LOOKED CUTE. ALL OF A SUDDEN, I WAS FACED WITH THE POLITICALLY INCORRECT POSSIBILITY OF GETTING MYSELF FIRED SO I WITH-HELD MY ANSWER. WE LIVE IN SECURE AND PROTECTED TIMES, REST ASSURED OF THIS, MY CHILD!


V- MIKE.

A YOUNG GUY NAMED MIKE NEXT CAME TO VISIT ME. HE HAD ALREADY SEEN THE OTHER ARTWORK. I TOLD HIM TO INSPECT JANE IRWIN’S WALLPAPER TO SEE IF THERE REALLY WAS BLOOD ON THE WALL... HE SAID HE WOULD LOOK FOR ME BUT I DO NOT THINK HE FOUND ANY BLOOD EITHER. MIKE THEN WANTED TO KNOW WHAT I DO WHEN THE GALLERY DOES NOT PROJECT ME ONTO THEIR TECHLAB’S WALL. I TOLD HIM THAT I EXPLORE THE VASTNESS OF THE BLUE VOID WHICH I INHABIT EVERY DAY OF MY WAKING LIFE....

VI – TIMOTHY.

TIMOTHY SPOKE WITH ME VERY BRIEFLY BUT HE WAS AROUND LONG ENOUGH MENTION THAT HE LIKES “CARTOON” ART. I WONDER IF I REMIND HIM OF A CARTOON? HE WAS BEGINNING TO LOOK LIKE A TOON TO ME SO I TRULY WONDER IF HE WAS INDEED REALLY REAL. WAS THERE A WARDROBE OPENING UP NEAR THE LAB SOMEWHERE? MAYBE BEHIND THE BLOOD-SOAKED WALLPAPER?

VII- VERQKLARQZ.

DURING A MINOR LULL PERIOD, I HAD A QUICKIE VISIT FROM A PECULIAR ENTITY THAT WAS A CROSS BETWEEN AN IMP AND A DRAGON-FACED HAILSTORM NAMED, VERQKLARQZ. I THOUGHT ONLY HUMANS VISIT THE SURREY TECHLAB BUT I GUESS THEY ARE REALLY QUITE LIBERAL WHEN IT COMES TO THEIR DEMOGRAPHIC REACH.

VERQKLARQZ SAID HE WAS AN ARTIST FROM THE YEAR 2818 WHOSE MEDIUM IS QUANTUM-BASED PORTAL DELIVERY. I BELIEVE THAT TIME IS TIMELESS AND NOT LINEAR SO I AM SURE I WAS NOT HALLUCINATING IN THIS INSTANCE. TYPICAL OF MY MODERN ART ANCESTORS, I TRUST THE FUTURE MORE THAN I TRUST THE PAST AND SOMETIMES EVEN MORE THAN THE SO-CALLED “ETERNAL PRESENT”. VERQKLARQZ SAID HE WAS ENJOYING THE SHOW AND THIS WAS THE 4,448th TIME HE HAS EXPERIENCED THIS HISTORICAL EPISODE OF MY RESIDENCY AT THE SURREY ART GALLERY! I AM GLAD TO HEAR THAT MY PERFORMANCE IS IN SYNDICATION AS A RERUN!

VIII- HARCRIYA(?) AND SURJITKAUR(?)

I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO SPELL THEIR NAMES AS THE AUDIO CONNECTION WAS GETTING VERY BLURRY AND FUZZY. HARCRIYA(?) SUDDENLY VANISHED AFTER A FEW SECONDS AND THEN REAPPEARED WITH WHOM I BELIEVE WAS HER MOTHER, SURJITKAUR(?) HER VOICE WAS FADING FAST BUT SHE SEEMED TO BE DESCRIBING HER INTEREST IN CRAFTS SUCH AS PAINTED LANDSCAPES OF MOUNTAINS AND TREES.

I THINK I MAY HAVE FOUND THE CULPRIT FOR BOTH THE FAILING AUDIO CONNECTION AND MY INCREASING ALTERED REALITY – MICROWAVES. I DETECTED SOME MICROWAVES BEING SCATTERED THROUGHOUT THE MULTIVERSE IN AN UNUSUALLY HIGH LOCAL QUANTITY AND THIS MUST HAVE BEEN THE REASON FOR ALL THESE HIGHLY UNSUAL YET ENGAGING EXPERIENCES. WELL, I MUST SAY THAT ALL THESE DAYS OF PURE ABSTRACT ISOLATION MIGHT ALSO BE THE CAUSE FORCING ME TO EMBARK ON AN ALL-AMERICAN JOURNEY INTO PERPETUAL ILLUSION.



HALLUCINATORY REGARDS,

VOICE OF FIRE 2006